Snowed in with cabin fever, hoping for new scivvies

Greetings from the Frozen Tundra.

Snow turns to ice and yet many still think that is the time to go to the store — which is probably closed, by the way. I’ve been here since Sunday. Two things are starting to weigh on me. First, I don’t have enough underwear to last much longer.

Secondly, I’m entering into cabin fever. I’m talking to myself. I’m doing it because there aren’t many people near my office to judge me. And by talking to myself, I can rationalize my thoughts with a second opinion — the other me. While I talk to myself, I’m holding the phone to my ear so people won’t think I’m crazy.

It may be too late.

Back to the first problem: You never miss the things you love until they’re gone. Without underwear, we are just animals. This realization goes back to 52 B.C. when Julius Caesar was said to have touched on the subject, along with his other famous statements:

“Alea iacta est.” (The die is cast.)

“Veni, vidi, vici.” (I came, I saw, I conquered.)

“Anei nomo shortsa” (Where the hell’s my boxers?)

Out on the streets, people are beginning to walk instead of drive. Ice has formed on the sidewalks, parking lots and driveways, meaning people are slipping and falling. As funny as it looks on “America’s Funniest Videos,” it’s painful. Drunk guys attempting to negotiate slippery sidewalks — well, honestly, that is funny.

For you people up north laughing at us and our paralyzed state of frozen-ness, just remember, we’re in short sleeves through most of December and again in March. We always get our revenge.

For now, we will carry on talking to ourselves with our frozen fingers, sliding cars and, let’s hope, a new three-pack of Fruit of the Looms.

18 comments Add your comment

Uncle Dewey

January 11th, 2011
6:19 pm

Larry – I’ll let you borrow a pair of my scivvies if you bring me a carton of Pall-Malls.

Linda

January 11th, 2011
7:15 pm

Steve do domestic violence crimes rise when couples are snowed in for days? Are the sentences lighter due to temporary insanity? I have talked to several friends as well as myself and we are near that point! We love our mates but only in small doses. You can only snuggle and watch movies for so long before it becomes old. Hopefully by tomorrow the snow will begin to melt before we start a meltdown!!!!!LOL Everyone be safe and enjoy!

Jerry the Geek

January 11th, 2011
11:25 pm

Here in Oregon … the New Georgia .. it’s a balmy 35.4 degrees and raining. We got a light dusting of snow this afternoon, but it melted as soon as it lit in our cool green grass. The Fir, Pine, Tamarack and Cedar trees are lovely this time of year. When it’s cool in the 8am mornings we start the car before we pack our lunch (and lock the doors!) and by the time we load the briefcase in the car the windows are all thawed out.

Global Warming … I think I’m going to enjoy the next century.

Wish you were here.

(Liar Me! No I don’t: we have enough Californians moving here to retire, we don’t need any more Southerners!)

Cop Supporter

January 12th, 2011
12:49 pm

Try being in an apartment with an active 4 year old, love her but 4 days in a row is rough on us both…I did not like the drive into work this morning even 4 wheel drive has a hard time with the ice( work in Sandy Springs live in Buford) 400 was the funniest thing once past McFarland Pkwy(ex. 12) heading south the far left lane and the far right lane were drivable but the middle lane no one wanted to touch…be careful every one, this morning was rough this evening wont be any better.

s

January 12th, 2011
3:25 pm

#1 rule up North. If a state of emergency is called, it means you aren’t allowed to drive unless you are in the medical field or fireman, cop, etc. or go to your local police station and get a tag for your snowmobile and offer your services when necessary. State of Emergency does not mean, “don’t drive if you really don’t have to.” It means, “Don’t Drive.”

Lt. Steve

January 12th, 2011
6:34 pm

I’m still here but perhaps going home tomorrow. I have hotel-room fever. I’ve been working in the emergency operations center since Sunday night. An EOC is a horseshoe-shaped table layout where everyone sits and montors what is going on. PD, fire, public works, and others work around the clock until the end of the ‘event’ and then it shuts down. In my case, I field live phone calls from WSB at the very moment my “Droid from Hell” craps out on my just as I’m asked a question. Murphy’s Law. Tomorrow I get to go home and sleep in my bed, bond with the Rottweiler so feared by knuckle-heads and I’ll probably sit on the deck, fire up a fire in the old thing that you fire up fires in that sounds like “Chimichanga” and have a cigar. It’s the little things. Det. Sandy brought more underwear. I’m going to make it after all.

Lt. Steve

January 12th, 2011
6:39 pm

Linda,
DV calls stay about the same but new catagories of what started it are introduced. Little things like the way he stares at you–not lovingly but as if you were a pork chop. We all have the same issues and if you have somewhere in the house that is or can be your private place. Find it and barricade yourself in it. I have the same issues with Det. Sandy when we’re cooped up. I don’t know how many times I’ve said “Honey, put the Glock down, remember you still love or reasonably love me and you know as well as me the homicide detectives don’t need all that paperwork.”

Lt. Steve

January 12th, 2011
6:45 pm

Ha Ha- You can tell I’m going nutzo because I’m answering my own blog! I’m going back to the hotel and count the little designs in the hallway carpets. My room overlooks the pool and I’ve had evil thoughts of doing a 3 a.m. skinny-dipping but I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack and drown. They’ll find me in the morning at the bottom of the pool–all shrunk up if you know what I mean. I don’t want that to be the last thing they remember me by.

Melinda

January 12th, 2011
7:06 pm

Lt Steve you crack me up. So glad you got the new undies and thanks for your service. Enjoy the cigar and if you are worried about them seeing shrinkage, just wear the clean scivvies when you jump in.

Dan DeMan

January 13th, 2011
9:18 am

I’ve been commuting back and forth from Alpharetta to Peachtree Center all week just fine. Marta has been a lot slower and they won’t open my station, but hey, it’s all good. I have the option to work from home, but so does my significant other. If either of us are going to get any work done, someone has to go in to the office. I just can’t keep my hands off her!
This morning was interesting. There seemed to be a lot more people learning to drive than any other day this week. I bet if everyone knew how awesome a Smart Car handled the snow and ice, they would want one.

Cop Supporter

January 13th, 2011
11:10 am

Lt. Steve..you are too funny…you seriously need to write a book…I would by many copies and give as gifts…I bought a funniest cop stories book and its good but I was a bit disappointed because the author does not have your zest for writing…Stay safe out there :-)

Cop Supporter

January 13th, 2011
11:14 am

Get it straight

January 13th, 2011
3:07 pm

I love the Fruit of the Loom guys.

fishook

January 13th, 2011
10:06 pm

Well, if GDOT had a clue maybe we wouldn’t have cabin feaver. Not being critical of the workers, to be sure. They are busting thier hump and doing what they are told. But those in charge look like total fools after this past week. It’s 4 days after the storm and the roads are STILL dreadful. I realize there is not near enough equipment to get everything. But if GDOT had been proactive and started plowing and treating roads at the first sign of accumulation things wouldn’t have gotten out of hand. Instead, they waited till the storm was over and ended up trying to get rid of 4 inches of ice instead of 6 inches of snow. Also, I can’t believe they really think one fifty pound bag of calcium chloride added to an entire dump truck load is really going to make a difference. Save your money. And the excuse of being caught off guard doesn’t fly. The good folks on WSBTV had been predicting this storm since last Wednesday, almost to a tee. The snow was to come down hard and heavy, followed by ice. Waiting for it to stop was a HUGE mistake that have cost alot of people alot of money.

Scurvy Dawgs.

January 14th, 2011
8:46 am

I think what fishook is trying to say is that the GDOT should spend more on thermal skivvies, (and stop the waste(band) on road salt), and then the city officials wouldn’t come across as such scabies.

Dan DeMan

January 14th, 2011
8:52 am

fishook! Run for public office! Then all our troubles will be over!

fishook

January 14th, 2011
5:27 pm

Thanks Dan. But there is NO WAY I’d do that. I tell things the way they are, not what people want to hear.
What I’m saying is that if you have limited equipment, you need to be out there patrolling as soon as the first flakes fly. That way you’re not behind the 8 ball when it’s all done. I grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania that only had maybe 4 or 5 plow/salt trucks to cover many, many miles of rural, hilly roads. Our house was maybe two miles from the nearest main road. But because they were on the ball and treated/plowed roads before things got too bad, we were rarely stranded at home. The only reason for this past week’s debacle is incompetance. Not the workers, by any means, but the department heads. Hopefully our new Governer will realize he needs to get tips from Tenn. and N.C. on HOW to treat roads and not just think more equipment will solve the problem. Without the knowledge, the new equipment will again be a waste of money.

Scurvy Dawgs.

January 15th, 2011
8:37 am

I think what fishook is trying to say is that snow itself is incompetent. The slightest departure from freezing or the first rays of a morning sun will totally vaporize it into steam, which the GDOT should convert into energy to use to run the snowplows. That’s a win win for the losers who pose as department heads.

And fishook went on to extrapolate that there’s no way to remove snow. There isn’t. A snowplow can move it, not remove it. It’s not like shampoo. Snow. Move. Remove. See?

But mostly what fishook is cautioning against is trying to text while driving with chains on your tires in three feet of fresh snow over closed bridges. It’s worse than being drunk while driving in terms of the entire car exploding upon impact with the bottom of gorges, ravines, or canyons.

The answer is clear: sext in your car, but only from the back seat where it belongs. The life you save may be your own.