Tales from the night shift, Round 2

Full moon.

They’re dispatching domestics like they’re on sale. Saturday is not the night of love around here between midnight and 4 a.m.:

• Man screaming behind a grocery store. Witness said he’s throwing things. He was mad at his girlfriend and screaming at her on his cell phone.

• Woman, described as blond, large chest, skinny body, babbling incoherently and saying something about suicide at a gas station near 285 and 400, later changed to an intersection a couple of miles north — said she was near a crack house. Never found her.

• Missing person. Later found to have been on a fling with a new “friend” who the parents would surely not approve of. When you’re 25 years old, don’t sneak around. Your parents will accept it better than thinking you’re missing.

• Caught a few minutes of Chris Isaak at Chastain before monitoring the traffic coming from the show.

• Snake on the front porch, later found to be a copperhead. Officer bagged it in a pillow case. Better he than me. I would have started shooting at it a couple of miles away as I was driving up.

• Man pulling the “car broken down and my kid needs to get to the hospital” routine. The cops can’t find any victims so his information is taken and sent on his way. He’s been around here before. He drives a Ford Expedition.

• Domestic call. Hotel. The caller wants the male removed from the hotel room. Love gone awry? Someone ran out of meth?

• Guy calls and says people are chasing him around with a defibrillator, shocking him. He has a gun and has accidentally shot the floor.

• Cars are driving down the road with no lights — all night long. Bars should post a sign reminding you to turn on your lights in the parking lot as you leave. Apparently at some point, the darkness around your car as you drive isn’t a tip that your lights aren’t on.

• Wandering woman, drunk, walks across the road to the police station and asks me if the hotel across the street is the Hampton Inn. I confirm that it is. She says thanks and then walks off in a totally different direction.

• A Waffle House drunk thinks he’s funny. As I’m on the phone in my car in the parking lot, he walks up and pulls his cell phone, pretending to talk on it while he walks in a circle around my car, all the while pointing at me so that his audience will know that his act is a parody of my phone call. He stumbles, drops the phone, breaking it. Now I’m laughing — not loud and obvious-like, but it was a nice moment of irony.

• I’m tired. I want to go home. The bars are emptying into the parking lots and people are going home or wherever. You know some are happy and some are mad — depending on how the night went.

• It’s a full moon and the domestic calls start cranking up again.

• The drunk lady re-appears and waves at me, points to the Hampton Inn, give me a thumbs-up and then walks into the Holiday Inn next door.

It’s been fun, folks, thanks for playing tonight.

23 comments Add your comment


July 27th, 2010
2:35 am

You can’t start shooting at a snake soon enough for me either.


July 27th, 2010
7:57 am

What is it with folks and no headlights? Do they think they are saving electricity? Sounds like a pretty boring night, Lt. Was Raul off planning Bay of Pigs Part Deux?

Cop Supporter

July 27th, 2010
10:16 am

Hahahaha…that was a good article I like the drunk hotel lady…and same here with the snake… I would have been laughing out loud at the guy who broke his phone… lol


July 27th, 2010
1:18 pm

Agreed about the snake. Heck, I would have gotten the address, then sent a request to the Marine Corps or Army to calculate the GPS coordinates and launch a guided missile towards that snake.

I’m tired of these $#@!$%^* snakes on this $#@!$%^* porch!

I remember one time when Okeefenokee Joe came to my middle school to demonstrate some of the snakes he had. When he showed us the king snake, he said it was one of the best snakes to have around because it can kill the poisonous snakes (like copperheads and rattlesnakes), was nonpoisonous, and was immune to their venom. I told my great-granddad this, and he disagreed: He said the best snake is a dead snake. You couldn’t argue with the man there.

Atlanta Gal

July 27th, 2010
4:39 pm

If you have a snake you want removed, please call AWARE (Atlanta Wild Animal Rescue Effort) at 678-418-1111. They will dispatch one of the volunteers to come get it. As Patrick said, snakes eat other snakes along with mice and rats so please don’t kill them.


July 27th, 2010
5:18 pm

Atlanta Gal, if I see a copper head or a rattlesnake, I’m going to kill it grave yard dead, before your friends take a poisionus snake and set it free. I’ll set a few rat traps. Hey, why are you protecting snakes but not rats? They are furry little creatures too.


July 27th, 2010
6:38 pm

Good article


July 27th, 2010
8:12 pm

Killing wild life is prohibited I thougt. anyway. snakes eat rats. Killing them is senseless. Thanks for the cop who was intelligent enough to handle this correctly. Like your writing though. Keep it up


July 27th, 2010
9:29 pm

We can call the cops for snakes??? Was the copperhead on porch a 911 call? Atlanta Gal, what is turn-around time for venomous snake pick up and removal from Atlanta Wild Animal Rescue Effort. Especially when snake on front porch?

Big Al

July 28th, 2010
7:25 am

When there is a snake on your front porch, or anywhere else close to your house, a 45 caliber hoe will work perfectly. If that is not available, go for the 50 caliber shovel. Both dispatch snakes efficiently.

I love reading the articles by Steve Rose. He is probably a great cop. But sadly he is not much help when it comes to snakes.


July 28th, 2010
8:04 am

Hubby went down the stairs to get a beer in the garage fridge. Called (yelled) up to me to “come here”. (He can’t get a beer on his own???) On our carpeted steps was a copperhead resting… no way we could kill it on a step safely so we called the critter people to come and get it. They couldn’t get there til the next day! We actually slept in the house with the door to the downstairs area closed off praying it wouldn’t sneak to another hiding place. Critter people came the following morning to remove said snake (who was still in place on the steps) and found 2 hurt birdies in the driveway and a baby possum in the garage. I think we live in Noah’s Ark.


July 28th, 2010
9:35 am

Snakes are the root of all evil.


July 28th, 2010
12:38 pm

Now that I have stopped laughing I can tell you the 45 caliber hoe really works! This was great!


July 28th, 2010
1:30 pm

You were on your phone in your car?



July 28th, 2010
4:19 pm

Ho hum, sounds like just another ordinary night in Peachtree City. The police will tell you to call the Sheriff’s dept. for help. Which is a good idea, because the Fayette County Sheriff’s Dept. is serious about dealing with, and stomping out crime. Seriously with all of the trailer trash kids and parents we have in PTC you need the Fayette county Sheriff’s Dept. on your side. You can take the people out of the trailer park, but their kids give them away every time. You can’t take the trailer park out of the people or their behavior. Luck everybody , call the Sheriff’s Dept. for help.


July 28th, 2010
5:09 pm

You all will bag a poisonous snake in the line of duty? Awesome! I really feel for the guy who shot the floor. Last time someone chased me with a defibrillator things got out of hand too…

Retired Alive

July 28th, 2010
5:50 pm

I’m surprised y’all haven’t figured out the no headlights deal. Everyone knows that if you are drunk and drive with your headlights off, you are, like, invisible!

Take a break! He was most likely on the phone relative to his job.

Another good article, Steve.


July 29th, 2010
2:56 am

What building does Raul live behind Steve. I want to take him some bbq and cigarettes.


July 29th, 2010
9:18 pm

good article steve. in georgia, there are 6 types of poisonous snakes – water moccassins (cottonmouths), copperheads, coral, timber rattlers, pygmy rattlers, and eastern diamondback rattlers. there are 39 nonpoisonous snakes, and they are protected species by georgia state law. they are very easy to distinguish, the poisonous ones have a diamond shaped head except for the coral, but the coral does not live in metro atlanta. it closely resembles the scarlet kingsnake – red touches yellow kill a fella, red touches black good for jack. snakes are good to have around, because they control rodent populations naturally. the biggest snake in georgia is the indigo snake, and it can grow to 8 feet. if a nonpoisonous snake bites you, you only need to wash the wound with soap and water, the poisonous snake bites will hurt, and likely make you sick, but death is extremely rare.
all snakes are more afraid of you because you are bigger than they are, and this is a natural reaction regarding the relationship between the size of an animal relative to it’s place in the food chain. snakes are not naturally aggressive in this state, and poisonous snakes in this state do not climb. i am speaking only of snakes native to georgia. i have killed a moccassin on my north fulton property, and it was with a shovel. they are very nonagressive, and it tried to slither away and hide, but it was in my barn, so it had to go. i couldn’t rouse the black rat snake that lives in my barn to go kill it for me, oh well.

Van Jones

July 30th, 2010
2:44 pm

“all snakes are more afraid of you…” Apparently you don’t know me very well. Thanks for the info Chuck!


July 31st, 2010
4:42 pm

The problem with the hoe and shovel is that they require that you get TOO close to the snake!

I DID not know there were coral snakes in Georgia!?

Love child

August 1st, 2010
12:40 am

I have a poisonous snake living in my mouth. Don’t wake it….

nature girl

August 2nd, 2010
9:08 am

Snakes are venomous, not poisonous. Poison is ingested, venom is injected.