The police visit Ricky’s school

“Hi, kids. Well, we brought the police car and thought you’d like to climb in it and look at the radio and — (Many hands in the air, frantically waving) …”

Before I can even select one of the 20 hands in the air, the questions begin:

  • Have you ever shot anyone?
  • My name is Ricky. My mom says the police only put bad people in jail. My sister is bad. I can have her here in 10 minutes. Can you take her?
  • My dad says that you’ll lock me up if I don’t eat my vegetables. Why would you do that? Have you ever eaten them? Yuk.
  • They said you were going to bring a helicopter.
  • You don’t look as cool as the guy on CSI.
  • My uncle said you guys would bring doughnuts and not to tell you his name … his name is Bobby.
  • Have you ever shot anyone?
  • Hey, officer, it’s me, Ricky again. What did you decide about my sister?
  • My mom has some handcuffs in her sock drawer.
  • My uncle says you don’t have to take the drunk test.
  • Do you have a dog?
  • My mom says if we have a problem, we can ask the police. My problem is my sister.
  • Have you been on C.O.P.S.?
  • I was told there would be a helicopter.
  • … So, if people don’t take the drunk test, how do they become drunks?
  • Have you ever shot anyone?
  • Don’t tell my Uncle Bobby I told you his name. His last name is Richards — just don’t tell anyone.
  • My sister is over there on the playground. She can’t run fast. You can probably catch her.
  • I know what the emergency number is. It’s 911. I call it every day and tell them I like the police. They tell me they like me, too, and then they ask me to hang up.
  • Go ahead and lock me up. But I hate carrots.

Finally, their two-minute attention span has passed and the kids get to climb in the back seat of the police car and look past the cage to the computers, then slide out so the next group can slide in. A group picture is taken with the officer, the teacher and 15 kids, seven of them with their fingers in their noses, one crying and one who just looks happy to be here.

Ricky was nice enough to shut the doors for us.

We climbed in the police car and, when I adjusted the mirror, I saw the top of this little bitty head. I adjusted the mirror to reveal a little girl with a big smile on her face, just looking all around.

“Ah, you must be Ricky’s sister.”

25 comments Add your comment


March 5th, 2010
3:03 pm

Please keep to the Police Blotter.


March 5th, 2010
3:09 pm

Were these the 10th graders? :)

Funny stuff.

Atlanta Gal

March 5th, 2010
3:51 pm

Great article and a great photo of you!


March 5th, 2010
3:59 pm

This is hilarious!!! Those children probably don’t realize that the usual occupants of that back seat are dirty drunks and such.

Answer Me This

March 5th, 2010
7:49 pm

How many of my posts do you plan on removing in this blog? Kind of weak since I never actually criticized you.

Herman Harris

March 5th, 2010
8:43 pm

Have you ever shot anybody.


March 5th, 2010
9:49 pm

Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? Have you ever shot anybody? :)


March 5th, 2010
11:14 pm

Steve, please ignore Dave and the other humorless losers … FUNNY column!!!


March 6th, 2010
12:39 am

I enjoyed this column. :D Thanks Lt., for the smiles. I needed one today.


March 6th, 2010
5:10 am

Gotta love those kids!

Dane Cook

March 6th, 2010
6:55 am

Not funny. And I know what not funny is. I’ve made millions off of not being funny.


March 6th, 2010
7:14 am

Pretty funny. Needed that laugh this morning.

Arizona Ann

March 6th, 2010
7:56 am

You get a gold star for this one.


March 6th, 2010
9:19 am

Apparently this wasn’t in south Atlanta or Clayton county. They would have rattled off Georgia statutes or asked you to relays messages to family members.


March 6th, 2010
9:31 am

I particularly like Ricky’s sister!


March 6th, 2010
10:24 am

Not much in the AJC makes me LOL. This column is great.


March 6th, 2010
6:41 pm

Thanks for the laughs!!


March 6th, 2010
8:05 pm

Have to love the little people.

Famous midget

March 6th, 2010
11:50 pm

What do you mean “have” to love the little people? You making fun of us midgets?


March 7th, 2010
12:28 am

I meant children, lol. Didn’t mean to offend.

Famous midget

March 7th, 2010
9:55 am


March 9th, 2010
8:49 am

I don’t remember getting to sit in the back of a police car to look at all the equipment in the front, even when we had a police officer come to our school weekly for the DARE classes we had in 5th Grade, or whenever we had people from the Sheriff’s Dept. or prison talk to us at the high school during the whole “Teen Driver Safety” week campaign.

I do remember, however, at one elementary school I attended, one of the choppers for one of the local news stations landing in the baseball field behind our school, and the pilot and reporter talking to us, and opening up a few compartments on the outside of the chopper. I can still see one of those compartments open, and revealing a stuffed Garfield toy.


March 11th, 2010
3:21 pm

I think you look just as cool as the guys on CSI.

Ole Guy

March 11th, 2010
8:59 pm

Can I work the siren?


March 15th, 2010
5:31 pm

I feel sorry for childless people.