Archive for March, 2010

Tips on avoiding a ticket (most of the time, anyway)

I got my first ticket in 1969. I was driving from work, down the access road between Chamblee Dunwoody Road and Savoy Drive. I had a 1968 Austin Healey Sprite, yellow in color. I was the coolest guy at the Sing Food Store, where I worked. There were only two of us that night and the other guy’s license was suspended, so that made me the coolest guy by default.

I drove out of the parking lot, turned right and headed down the hill toward my house. My friend was behind me. We hit the access road and I remember looking at the speedometer as it hit about 60 mph. It was summer and I had the convertible top down and enjoying the breeze as it hit my coolness.

Just as I got that really nice, laid-back feeling, thinking about what we were going to do that night (remember, this was back when we were young enough to stay up past 10 p.m.), I saw the blue lights behind me. I never saw the cop. My buddy didn’t, either.

Twenty minutes later, minus any coolness we’d accumulated earlier, we …

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Police blotter: Notable arrests of the week

An officer found a man standing on the side of the ramp at I-285 and Northside Drive around 5 a.m. The man was intoxicated and wearing only underwear and a T-shirt. He said he didn’t remember how he got there. The officer had paramedics check the man, who had a small cut on his leg. He was arrested.

8800 block of Roswell Road: Shortly after midnight, an officer driving through the parking lot of a restaurant / bar noticed a car parked a couple of near the front door of the business, in a parking spot. The car’s lights were on and the engine running. He noticed the car moving and looked inside where he saw a woman, partially clothed, moving up and down. Under the woman was a man with no clothes on. Both were engaged in — well, engaged, to say the least.

Here’s the problem: The place was still open so … get a room. They were cited and released to enjoy the rest of the night — somewhere else.


A man reported he was transporting his friend from the Druid Hills area to …

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Police blotter: Assaults, arrests and ‘other things’


A woman on Cedar Run reported she got into an argument with her boyfriend and he pushed her against her car. She declined to prosecute.

A man called the police and said his wife was being held hostage by a man. When they got there, they met with a woman who said she and the man were separated and he was crazy. He was not allowed in the home. She said he may have been peeking in the window.

Mason Creek Drive: Domestic violence call. Male got into an argument and poured a soft drink on the victim. He was arrested.

6800 block of Roswell Road: Officers answered a disturbance call at a condo. They found a man with lacerations. The sliding glass door had been broken. The woman in the room with him was his wife.

His version: She went nuts and started trashing the apartment, scratching him, and threw hot candle wax all over the furniture and computer and then broke the sliding glass window.

Her version: He’s a meth-head and, to prove the point, she showed the cops where she …

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Off-duty: T-ball’s for kids to enjoy and adults to savor

Slowly but surely, it’s coming.

Spring is around the corner and soon we’ll all be happy, warmer — and green. The pollen is brutal, but it means the weather won’t be cold with killer flurries. What’s good about spring is the coming of another baseball season. Soon we’ll be about to mortgage the home to afford tickets for four and a warm $7 beer. Good times.

I coached softball and baseball for many, many years. When my girls played, I coached softball and later, when the boys played, I moved to baseball. My grandson will start baseball this year. It reminded me how fun it was back in the day when the kids knew absolutely nothing about the rules. Games were the highlight of the week, simply for the entertainment value.

I had a group of girls, about 5 years old, with no knowledge of softball. I said to myself this was great! I’d teach them fundamentals and get them on the right track for years to come.

Here’s how it went at our first T-ball game:

Our first batter hit the ball off …

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Police blotter: Drinking and fighting

A woman reported she and her friend met a man at a sushi bar in Atlanta. They were too intoxicated to drive so the man drove them both to their home. She said the man came in for a few minutes. He came onto her and she declined. He then left and she believes he stole her silver Lexus LS430.

5800 block of Roswell Road: Cops received a fight call at Cocktail Cove bar. They found security guards detaining a drunk and screaming man. They found out the drunk and screaming man began hitting (figuratively) on a woman who was with another guy. So she rejected him. So he threw a beer in her face. And it was after this that all the fun started. That crazy “funster” was arrested.

The short version of this is: Male Ego+Booze+Raging Libido=Arrest.

The arrested man was asked for his side of the story, but all he would do was call the cops name and accuse them of padding their stats with his arrest.

Revised short-version formula: Male Ego+Moron+Booze+Raging Libido=Arrest.

Spalding Forest …

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The police visit Ricky’s school

“Hi, kids. Well, we brought the police car and thought you’d like to climb in it and look at the radio and — (Many hands in the air, frantically waving) …”

Before I can even select one of the 20 hands in the air, the questions begin:

  • Have you ever shot anyone?
  • My name is Ricky. My mom says the police only put bad people in jail. My sister is bad. I can have her here in 10 minutes. Can you take her?
  • My dad says that you’ll lock me up if I don’t eat my vegetables. Why would you do that? Have you ever eaten them? Yuk.
  • They said you were going to bring a helicopter.
  • You don’t look as cool as the guy on CSI.
  • My uncle said you guys would bring doughnuts and not to tell you his name … his name is Bobby.
  • Have you ever shot anyone?
  • Hey, officer, it’s me, Ricky again. What did you decide about my sister?
  • My mom has some handcuffs in her sock drawer.
  • My uncle says you don’t have to take the drunk test.
  • Do you have a dog?
  • My mom says if we have a problem, we can ask the police. My …

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