Swiped dentures and other weird cases

The Sandy Springs Police Department handles a lot of cases. Here are some from the last week or so that don’t quite fit the mold:

20 block of Cedar Run: A woman reported she attended a meeting and, during a break, left her purse unattended. Later she found someone had swiped her dentures from the purse.

Huntingdon Chase Drive: A man reported someone stole a $2,200 plasma TV, $3,700 camcorder, $1,700 Mac computer, $1,200 Visio laptop, $200 i-Pod and a $200 DVD player. All of the items were sitting unsecured in front of his apartment for a week after his eviction.

6000 block of Roswell Road: A man stole a Christmas tree at Whole Foods. The tree was on a stand. He took the whole thing and ran across Roswell Road, followed by an employee in hot pursuit, through the parking lot dividing the Chic-fil-A and El Azteca restaurants.

As he ran through the Chic-fil-A parking lot, three cops — inside the restaurant on a previous call — saw him and ran after him. He dropped the tree and was caught hiding behind a nearby dumpster.

6000 block of Roswell Road: A man called the police and told them as he was walking past the Sparkle Car Wash when he saw a man and woman having sex behind a dumpster. He said although it was obvious he was near them, they never even looked up. The responding officer met with the same reaction and it was only after he announced his presence did they stop. The man immediately informed the officer that he was assisting the woman as she used the restroom. The report said they had difficulty getting dressed because they appeared to be extremely intoxicated. They were both arrested for public indecency.

I-285 and PDR (Peachtree Dunwoody Road): A patrol officer stopped a car for a traffic violation. Inside the car were four occupants. The officer checked all four occupants’ I.D.’s. Two of the four occupants had the same I.D. He got the two identically same guys out of the car and asked their names. They gave him identical names. He checked the I.D. photos to their faces and only one face was the same as the man he was looking at. The other guy was arrested after the officer found a gym card with another name on it. The officer asked the man his DOB but the man said he forgot. He was arrested. Once inside the back seat, the second man remembered his DOB. He remained arrested.

In my new book titled “DUH,” I note that a top-shelf strategy of utilizing a fake ID is not to sit next to the guy whose ID you used.

1100 Hammond Drive: The Publix Store deli employee reported he made a sandwich for a customer. He then saw the customer, as he left, stuff the sandwich down his pants and then took some drinks and doughnuts and then attempt to leave the store without paying. He was detained and later arrested. Many shoplifters are caught when they put unusually large items in their pants and then assume that people either won’t notice or will assume they are just naturally blessed.

Here’s a hint: An Italian sub sandwich on wheat with lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, Oregano and a touch of salt and pepper look like an Italian sub sandwich on wheat, with lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, Oregano, and a touch of salt and pepper — stuffed down your pants. Don’t flatter yourselves.

4920 Roswell Road: A man walked into Kroger and put the following in his pants: a steak, a beer, some Oreos, Jelly beans and some rice. He was arrested and we hope the recovered food items were destroyed.

People with issues

A woman reported her ex-boyfriend has been harassing her by calling her a number of times, then texting her over 250 times over a three-day period. The ex finally posted nude photos of her on Facebook.

8600 block of Roberts Drive: A man filed a fraud report saying someone is draining money from his account because the balance is always lower than expected. He said he has already notified the FBI and the White House.

8800 block of Roswell Road: A man walked into a fast-food restaurant and told the manager tat he received uncooked chicken two weeks ago. He then demanded his meal be compensated. They told the man they could not honor that request. He got mad and tried to enter the “Employees Only” door, but it was locked. He then tried to steal the charity donation jar on the counter. but it was secured to the counter. He then cursed at the staff and left. He appeared to be under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

8300 block of Roswell Road: Just before 1 a.m., SSPD officers arrested a man who walked into the gas station/convenient store and stole a beer. He told the clerk he was taking the beer, did so, and walked to the Waffle House nearby and ordered 450 eggs. The WH employees told him they didn’t have that many so the man began cursing loudly. He was arrested a few minutes later.

5610 Roswell Road: The security staff at the Target Store called the police in reference to a man who shoplifted an i-Pod. While the first officer was inside the store talking to the staff, the second officer outside spotted a man who matched the description. The man saw the police, ran, got into a small white car, sped out and then almost hit the first officer now running outside to his patrol car. The second officer activated his emergency equipment and followed the car that drove directly across the street to the 5555 Roswell Road apartment complex. The bad guy bailed from the car and ran toward the apartments, but slipped, rolled down a hill and fell into the lake.

He got out of the lake and ran into the maze of apartment buildings. Officers lost sight but were approached by a man who said the bad guy ran to his apartment and asked him if he would hide him from the cops. The man refused. The bad guy offered money. The man said he had to go to work. The bad guy grabbed him and would not let him go. The man escaped and told the cops the man was in his apartment. They found him there, with the victim’s clothes on.

He was treated for a cut lip, suffered when he rolled down the hill and fell into the lake. Among the mistakes he made, this suspect left his I.D. in his car when he ran. After the officers arrested him, they found he was wanted in Cook County (Chicago area), Illinois. He was charged with obstruction, burglary, aggravated assault on a police officer, false imprisonment and forgery (2nd degree.)

15 comments Add your comment

Cubby

December 21st, 2009
4:48 pm

Was the guy stealing the i-Pod Milton Bradley?

shadykraft

December 21st, 2009
7:05 pm

this is great for self esteem. I feel like pretty good guy after reading this. happy holidays, im going to sparkles.

big john

December 21st, 2009
9:47 pm

Funny…who needs tv, we got Mr Rose enlightening us on the whack jobs / crazies out there.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

GRITSiAM

December 22nd, 2009
8:48 am

Thanks for the laughs. Merry Christmas everyone.

Rod

December 22nd, 2009
10:22 am

I liked the part about the 6000 block of Roswell Road when you wrote: “As he ran through the Chic-fil-A parking lot, three cops — inside the restaurant on a previous call — saw him and ran after him.”

Okay, so three cops (an unusual number of cops to respond to a fast-food inquiry) were at Chic-fil-A on a call, not eating? Yeah, right.

catlady

December 22nd, 2009
11:09 am

The Chik fil A call may have been a call of hunger. That would explain the three cops.

Funny about dentures: when my mom, a packrat, died, I found 6-7 sets of old dentures in the bureau drawer. As she and my dad “outgrew” them, she kept them. I had sworn to think carefully about each item I disposed of, but could not come up with a good idea for those dentures. First, I thought of donating them to a nursing home, but, you know, dentures are individually fit sot that probably would not help. Then I thought about giving them to the funeral home–they might help in “naturalizing” a face that had been disrupted by age, illness, or accident. But finally, I decided to just throw them away. Wanting some fun, however, I put them on the top of the trash, inside the can, and watched through the window as the trashmen came and, as usual, whipped off the lid to make short work of dumping the cans. They froze when they saw the teeth, and their exclamations were something to hear! I still laugh when I think about it.

Sven Turgidsen

December 22nd, 2009
1:56 pm

These guys are all obviously too stupid to hold real jobs, so I’m not sure what else we should expect . . . It’s trite but true: some people’s sole function in life is to serve as an object lesson to others.

Magenta

December 22nd, 2009
1:59 pm

I think some people are just so darn lonely they act crazy so they can get arrested and they’ll have somebody to talk to. Seriously!!!

GatorGreg

December 22nd, 2009
3:00 pm

You can’t fix STUPID. Arrest it yes, fix it, NO!!!

chiefs fan

December 22nd, 2009
4:34 pm

Why wouldn’t the evicted guy sell his crap for a place to live?

Chris Broe

December 23rd, 2009
9:44 am

The specter of a man running with a xmas tree with the stand, and an employee running after him with three cops in pursuit is totally hilarious. And I was only dreaming of a white christmas.

Patrick

December 23rd, 2009
1:20 pm

That’s one thing that irritates me about landlords and apartment complexes. When it comes time to evict someone, they have no concern about the person’s personal property. They just throw it out on the street so that everyone could help themselves to a stereo, TV, nice furniture, and other high-dollar items. When my roommate and I were on the verge of eviction, we made sure most of our stuff was already out, just in case. Luckily we weren’t evicted, so having packed up some of my stuff and keeping at work was a bit of overkill, but at the same time it wasn’t. It did help on the moving out of the old place, and when I moved into my own place, I just loaded up the truck after work and drove on to my new home.

Vexorg

December 26th, 2009
8:01 pm

Patrick…why don’t you take some time and educate yourself. Georgia laws are specific on EVICITIONS….and I am willing to bet that you were served with a 90 DAY NOTICE, along with an opportunity to APPEAL the eviction at a process hearing.

I have NO SYMPATHY for deadbeats that choose to live a expensive lifestyle at the cost of the rest of us…..and as far as the “disposal” of the former occupant’s property – it costs us taxpayers, because during the actual eviction, a County Marshall, along with a contracted moving crew has to there! As for as the law is concerned – if you’re not there when the eviction is taking place, your property is considered ABANDONED….and anyone is free to take it if you’re not there to claim it!

Now as far as self-storage places go….they have the right to SEIZE your property for non-payment and put it up at a public action, to recover their costs. So don’t place the “uncaring” landlord in the blame for the tenant’s irresponsibility! Just consider yourself lucky that two guys with names like “vinny” and “vito” didn’t come by to collect your overdue rent…..

KennesawDave

December 27th, 2009
11:16 am

Is that a Publix Italian sub or are you just happy to see me?
Lt Rose, I know Roswell Rd is a main thuroughfare in Sandy Springs but is there any part of that road that doesn’t keep your department busy? I’m starting to think when the city formed maybe Roswell Rd should’ve been left to Atlanta.
And I know this will be a lame joke, but I have to say… The couple having relations behind a dumpster just gives new meaning to the word trashy.

John

December 28th, 2009
1:52 pm

Patrick – don’t want your stuff tossed in the street if you’re evicted?

THEN PAY YOUR RENT ON TIME DEADBEAT!!!