Tips on how to get busted when smoking pot

On Saturday I came in to read police reports. I don’t normally do that on a Saturday, but I’m way behind and was out of town so, given the lousy weather, I decided to come in and catch up.

Here’s what I came away with:

A lot of people smoke pot. Yep, as if this is a surprise, it’s in fact true. Here’s a list of facts:

A lot of people smoke pot. We established that.

A lot of people smoke pot when other stuff happens.

Examples of “other stuff happens”:

  • Domestic violence or other arguments where someone calls the police.
  • Loud parties.
  • Loud parties where the upstairs neighbors call the cops about the smell.

A lot of people smoke pot in their cars. (None of them get speeding tickets.) They do get tickets for the following:

  • Driving too slow
  • Driving with improper lane usage—later contributed to the driver trying to open the Twinkies wrapper.
  • Driving with improper lane usage—later contributed to intense head-banging to the CD.
  • Getting lost.
  • Getting lost again.

The reason we know that a lot of people smoke pot in the car is mostly due to the silly-stupid things they get into. First of all, don’t forget that regardless of your views, pot is illegal. That being said, when the cops pull your car over and find the ashtray full and the baggie on the console, you’re probably going to get charged with it. In some cases, the charges are left with a citation but most cases involve other things that lend the driver to a trip to jail.

We arrest a lot of people who were driving around, smoking pot, in a car with stolen tags or tags that have expired registration or no insurance. If you didn’t know, your tag says a lot about you. Insurance and any warrant info are on the tag registration. Knowing that, why smoke? The least you could do is warn the passengers that your tags are expired, you have no insurance, and your car is stolen. I’m sure they would want to know that before toking up. Talk about paranoid.

Pot is a material object. You can see it. The car is a material object and you can see that too. There is no magical invisible place inside the car. This includes the console, ashtray and under the driver’s or passenger’s seat. Once the probable cause is there, the cops are going to check further. Probable cause includes the piles of smoke that exit the window when you roll it down after being pulled over. I can tell you that in a given week, we probably have two dozen arrests in cars and apartments on small misdemeanor cases of marijuana possession because it was there to be seen.

  • A man called the police and reported that his friend stole his i-Pod. The officer walked in and found the man’s pot, scale and bong on the kitchen table. Fact: Pot makes you forget to do important things — like hiding your pot.
  • A man calls the police to report that his friend took his pot! No kidding.

Fact: Pot makes you think that dumb things are rational.

  • A man calls the police and asks when he can pick up his pot. He was arrested for public drunkenness and had a little pot on him at the time. He wasn’t charged with the pot. Fact: Pot makes dumb people dumber.
  • Several people who were in a car were arrested for underage possession of alcohol and possession of marijuana and related objects: bongs, pipes (the ceramic ones), one-hitters and several hits of Ecstasy. They were driving in one direction when they saw several cop cars with blue lights on down the road on a cross street. They turned onto the road going out of the way to see what they thought was an accident. It wasn’t an accident. It was a safety road-and-seat-belt check.

If you’re stopped and you’ve got pot on you, you might stay away from these well-worn excuses:

  1. The Oregano Syndrome: Oregano is commonly used as a spice for food. It’s normally contained in a metal can or plastic container. It is almost never transported in plastic baggies and never has stems in it. Oregano smells like oregano and not like pot. Chefs never travel with unmarked oregano. Oregano is plentiful and there is little need to transport it.
  2. “That’s Not Mine,” otherwise known as “The Guy” reason: This is the guy who was in your car and left his pot in the seat. He doesn’t have a last name and the driver was just giving the guy a ride. He doesn’t know him well.
  3. Astonishment Syndrome: The Astonishment Syndrome requires some acting and good luck with that — especially if you’re stoned. “I have no idea where that came from!!!!” That also might be “The Guy” who not only leaves it in your car, he plants it, too.

Look, just stay home. Life gives you enough paranoia. Why magnify it?

98 comments Add your comment

EW

November 2nd, 2009
4:06 pm

Can I just be clear that your last statement is recommending smoking pot at home and not out and about? Or just that staying home is the best way not to get busted?

blkshepherd

November 2nd, 2009
4:11 pm

How about this was the dumbest damn article I ever read. How much Pot did you smoke to even think of a dumb ass article like this. get a life.

One who knows

November 2nd, 2009
4:15 pm

When you say things like “Domestic violence or other arguments where someone calls the police.” you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about. No one gets stoned & beats up their girlfriend. However, lots of people get drunk & knock over a gas station or 7-11.

“Driving too slow”. Really? That’s a problem for you? What about people drinking alcohol who drive too fast? Given a choice, I know which scares me more.

Here’s a fact for you; I used to smoke every day (sometimes several times a day) for over 15 years. The only reason I quit was because Nancy Reagan decided to stick her nose in my business. I have to be able to pass a drug test or I would still toke. The fact is that I make a lot more money than the average person, using my cognitive abilities to reason out problems, and marijuana did not impair my abilities with long term use.

I am not in any way advocating for the use of harder substances. However, when you (royal usage) include marijuana in with things like crack, heroin and who knows what else, when kids try pot & figure out it’s not really bad for you, they’ll wonder what else you’re lying about to them.

Worry about heroin & cocaine and let people enjoy themselves.

JowBlow

November 2nd, 2009
4:23 pm

There’s really nothing clear about anything this idiot said. I mean the guy claims smoking pot leads to domestic violence. Uh, no.

Fatty McBuffett

November 2nd, 2009
4:31 pm

Steve Rose sparks up the spiffy J. He understands way to much and knows too much terminology to get that from the police beat. He had a water bong in college

atlwolf

November 2nd, 2009
4:31 pm

One who knows, props man.

its a gateway drug

November 2nd, 2009
4:31 pm

Pot is a gateway drug. Certain arguements will be made that it is a gateway to some pretty cool things. Music is better, being outdoors is more vibrant, your mind is creative to the point that you think Pink Floyd music is set to Alice in Wonderland.

Tom

November 2nd, 2009
4:32 pm

As a police officer, I was conducting a roadblock. A vehicle approached and then stopped. I asked for his driver’s license. He said “sure” and handed me a lit joint as said “can you “hold this”. I said “sure”. I took the joint, then he presented his driver’s license and he was then placed under arrest.

Nate

November 2nd, 2009
4:32 pm

This is one stupid A$$ cop. Instead of focusing on the murderers and armed robbers, he is focused on taking someone to jail for a plant. I’m all for a cop justifying his job. But not when it comes to ruining someone’s life.

4:20

November 2nd, 2009
4:33 pm

And no one managed to post a comment at exactly 4:20 PM??? I’m so disappointed.

Ray Pugh

November 2nd, 2009
4:35 pm

Obviously you buffoons are smoking something that inhibits your reading comprehension faculties: Steve’s only saying that the easiest way to get busted for pot is to use/possess it in conjunction w/ other illegal activities. Nowhere does he say or even insinuate that smoking pot leads domestic violence or any other nefarious behavior…

charlie

November 2nd, 2009
4:37 pm

Does Pot make people write pointless articles?

its a gateway drug

November 2nd, 2009
4:39 pm

@ 4:20 – I meant to, but I forgot. I’ll probably just do it tomorrow.

Stranger

November 2nd, 2009
4:39 pm

May I just add:

Fact: Pot makes you think that dumb comments are really insightful.

Yesss

November 2nd, 2009
4:42 pm

I agree with Ray Pugh here. Read the article one more time sober. The author is not getting on your case, merely stating don’t be stupid stay home and smoke. And why wouldn’t you, that is where the TV, stereo, and froot loops are….

yamama

November 2nd, 2009
4:43 pm

This was funny. It’s just an article. You idiots that do not realize that must be smoking pot right now. I don’t think it was meant as a forum for the argument for legalizing it either. It was just meant to be funny and list out OBVIOUS things you should not do when smoking doobies. Hellooooo?

Roekest

November 2nd, 2009
4:43 pm

Someone who can read

November 2nd, 2009
4:44 pm

Ok, people…. can you not read and comprehend? Must be all that pot.
He stated that police commonly come across pot when answering calls for domestic violence.

Example: Man beats wife. Wife calls police. Police enter house to arrest husband. Husband is sitting on couch. Pot is sitting on the coffee table.

Example: Couple have heated argument. Male breaks objects, threatens female. Female escapes to back bedroom calls police. Male storms off to couch decides to ‘light one up’ to calm himself down. Police arrive to find husband sitting on couch smoking.

Domestic violence calls are common calls that usually lead to the officers having to enter the house. Another common call would be disputes involving property… officer escorts the person seeking to get their items into the house, and what do you know? There’s a big bong loaded with weed on the kitchen table.

All stories are true because I was there.

clyde

November 2nd, 2009
4:53 pm

Never had any of these problems,Steve.Wouldn’t know anything about them.Other than through my neighbors.

They started out smoking pot.Then they escalated to things they stuffed up their nose,Then they injected stuff.And then they started stealing anything that wasn’t nailed down.Then they were in and out of jail.Their parents were pretty well off.Now they’re almost destitute.The men are 30 and 24 respectively.Never had a job.Never will have one.One finished high school,the other one didn’t.All of this started with innocent little weed.You know,the one that isn’t addictive and doesn’t make you do funny things.It just makes you brain dead.

Bart

November 2nd, 2009
4:54 pm

Steve Rose makes many good points because, uh, where’d I place my Zeppelin CD, it would be good right now…I was saying, like I worked through the whole logic thing on this, and it is really clear to me the way I see it. Peppermint ice cream would be really good too. Anyway, what was I talking about?

Tyree

November 2nd, 2009
4:55 pm

Why do they call it 420?

mustang100

November 2nd, 2009
4:58 pm

Looks like a lot of guilty parties are speaking up here today. Fact is, pot diminishes your (what my PawPaw called) gumption. Get up and go. Ambition. Not to mention your bank account. Especially your bank acount.

Hue Men

November 2nd, 2009
4:59 pm

Fact: This article did not entertain me and was not insightful.

“All stories are true because I was there.”

Sweet dude, you just earned +10 cool points! But, you should have learned how to rite gud so you can quit the force like the author. Oh wait, he’s a public information officer? Is that like the paperwork cop? I mean, it’s one thing if this was written to inform the public, or solve a problem, but it’s fairly contrived and doesn’t really serve a purpose except to entertain a group by mocking things where in most cases the audience probably don’t fully understand anyways. This is commonly referred to on the internet as a “circle jerk” and usually only accomplishes the perpetuation of negative stereotypes. Here, I’ll leave you with for yourselves:

“Dur hur lookit da potheads. Pass me another bud lite”

Ya’ll have fun.

Leticia

November 2nd, 2009
5:04 pm

Pot makes my housework enjoyable. When my significant other starts killing my buzz I lock his azz out after I send him to the store. Perfect strategy to avoid the cops coming to the house for domestic violence. If the neighbors call the police for the disturbance I will have already hidden the evidence in the attic and used all the Febreeze. His azz goes to jail and I get a vacation.

JC

November 2nd, 2009
5:06 pm

Man up and do Heroin. Wimps.

Debdoes

November 2nd, 2009
5:11 pm

And I was worried about people on their cell phone and texting while driving…not POT SMOKING! Arrest their crazy asses and put them in jail. It’s illegal.

Bawney Fwank

November 2nd, 2009
5:11 pm

Bottom line is that it should be legalized and the hundreds of millions of dollars if not billions used to continue the pot prohibition and incarceration of users and cultivators, saved and used for healthcare and securing US borders.

Tim

November 2nd, 2009
5:12 pm

Enter your comments here

Debdoes

November 2nd, 2009
5:12 pm

p.s….leaving for Jamaica now.

Kingfish Stevens

November 2nd, 2009
5:13 pm

Roll another one, just like the other one and pass it over to me.

Taxpayer123

November 2nd, 2009
5:21 pm

Alcohol is much worse on society and the body that pot has ever been.

Taxpayer123

November 2nd, 2009
5:22 pm

Enter your comments here

bently

November 2nd, 2009
5:22 pm

pot is a gateway drug like eating is to becoming fat. one doesn’t define an outcome. based on your logic we should ban everything that could potentially be abused which is virtually everything.
if you don’t like it, don’t smoke it; otherwise, remember, your opinions are just that. just your opinion.
my guess is you don’t actually know what you’re talking about, but rather just parroting what you were taught in sunday school.
spend less time worrying about what your neighbor does and more time focusing on your own life.

Jay

November 2nd, 2009
5:26 pm

Alcohol is the number one killer in the united states. its makes you act stupid and harm lives. On the other hand pot does not. Pot has not been proven to harm any one or hurt anyone

jway

November 2nd, 2009
5:33 pm

If cops know that marijuana isn’t the demon weed prohibitionists claim it is and if they know its prohibition isn’t worth the $40 BILLION that taxpayers fork out every year nor the 800,000 arrests for possession alone or the 6,000+ brutal cartel murders that are a direct result of the prohibition then for God’s sake why don’t they speak up?!!

name withheld in case big bro is watchin-as we know he always is

November 2nd, 2009
5:46 pm

i think this article is hilarious…and somewhat true…i have found that people for whom pot smoking makes them unmotivated are usually unmotivated to start with…the people who smoke pot and go on to other drugs are people who are looking for more intense thrills anyway…i know people who have smoked pot for decades-own their own businesses–employee many people and are upstanding members of the community-imo the only way pot is a gateway drug is the fact that since it is illegal people have to go to places to get it where there are other illegal activities going on. i would rather be on the road with 100 stoned people than 1 drunk. i would rather get into an argument with 10 stoned people than one drunk. people who dont know what they are talking about need to shut up about the evils of pot. it is an herb and is good for many ailments. but as the moronic member of congress (NC) said (when medical pot laws were going to be put up for vote) we have plenty of pain meds that work just fine why should we legalize pot? well why? because pain medicine-legal meds-are this countries most dire form of drug abuse today. why do you think there is an organization of cops who would prefer that pot be legalized? because it is a stupid way to waste a lot of money-busting people for smoking pot. get real. its absolutely stupid for that much money to be spent when there are so many much much worse things happening that the money could be spent on. look up leap.com and see what a LOT of cops have to say about it. i dont personally smoke because of the drug testing thing. but i dang sure would if i wouldnt lose my job or be kept from another better job.

jim morrison

November 2nd, 2009
5:48 pm

dont do speed, speed kills, do pot, its much safer. this psa announcement was brought to you by the florida dept. of law enforcement

Bob Marley

November 2nd, 2009
5:51 pm

Steve, my man, you show your age by calling the infamous herb “pot”.That is so 1980s. It’s “weed” these days. And Im out, dammit.

name withheld in case big bro is watchin-as we know he always is

November 2nd, 2009
5:52 pm

@jway—google Law Enforcement Against Prohibition

i also think that the drug companies would freak slap out if pot was truly legalized…i know a lot of people would probably try pot instead of many of the other harsher drugs for different ailments. and then where would the pharmacutical companies be…broke is where.

also as someone said above-when you tell your kids about the evils of pot and they find out for themselves that you lied-why would they believe you when you tell them other drugs are dangerous. they are!! but who;s gonna believe you?

Solow

November 2nd, 2009
5:56 pm

WTF? I know more cops who smoke more weed than regular civilians. Whoever wrote this article probably kept the confiscated weed from the traffic stops, smoked it and thought this article would be a classic writing. The fact is, it’s the dumbest bullsh!t I’ve ever read.

byron leftwich

November 2nd, 2009
5:58 pm

Mr Rose this had to be the biggest waste of time ever and i went to college so thats saying a lot. How bout you meet me on brockett and ill spark one with you and we can discuss this ludicrous article you’ve put together.

Solow

November 2nd, 2009
5:59 pm

4.0 GPA Computer Science Major…….and I owe it all to marijuana.

JT

November 2nd, 2009
6:00 pm

Steve,
Is it me, or does it appear as if you’ve stepped on a few toes? I’ve never seen so much NEGATIVE reaction from an article about pot in my life! Can you say ‘holier than thou?’ For all you nitwits who think Steve is advocating smoking pot, put the joint down now, and back away! The man is simply saying people are going to smoke weed, and alll those dumb and dumber pot smokers, stay home…no matter how cool you think you are or how much you THINK you can handle smoking it and submerging yourself into normal activities of daily living, you CAN’T handle it…it’s been proven time and time again!

JohnBoy

November 2nd, 2009
6:15 pm

This is one of the dumbest articles I have ever read – anywhere. I could not read past the first few sentences.

Go back to some journalism school or something. Take a writing course or two or three unless you have some other marketable job skills – this ain’t it for you.

If this is your first article you have ever written, then I guess you just need some experience and guidance.

It is no wonder the AJC following/subscriptions are in the ter-let. There is nothing here.

crackbaby

November 2nd, 2009
6:17 pm

Stoned or not, that’s a funny column…

BIOMASS

November 2nd, 2009
6:29 pm

This is a stupid article, but before the next time you reefer heads do your “innocent” pot smoking read about all the people that are getting slaughtered everyday in Mexico because of the fight for US user’s drug dollars. They find bodies hanging from roadway bridges all the time. Police are murdered daily. Ditto judges. Decapitated corpses are common.

All this happens because of the drug demand up here, north of the border. Not to mention Colombia, Peru, etc. I wish you dopers would grow up.

Carlos

November 2nd, 2009
6:33 pm

Tips on how NOT to get busted when smoking pot: stay indoors.

bj

November 2nd, 2009
6:37 pm

1) “Driving with improper lane usage—later contributed to the driver trying to open the Twinkies wrapper.”
2) “Driving with improper lane usage—later contributed to intense head-banging to the CD.”

I’m not sure what these sentences mean; “later attributed to…” would make a lot more sense to me.

oldandachy

November 2nd, 2009
6:40 pm

Well, I’ll tell you one damn thing. If I wasn’t subject to drug testing, I’d be smoking me a nice bowlful every evening before bed for my fibromyalgia, neuropathy and other ills. I’ll be retired in a few short months, and then it’s ON.

And yes, there are narcotics and other meds which would work, but they’re addictive. I don’t intend to go to my grave addicted to anything. I know it works, and very well…vacations, you know.

name withheld in case big bro is watchin-as we know he always is

November 2nd, 2009
6:47 pm

@biomass—helloooo….what do you think would happen to all those mean ass drug dealers that are killing people if pot was legalized???? 1-there wouldnt be killings due to pot deals 2-the billions of dollars spent keeping pot users arrested could be spent on the drug abuse that is much worse…you need to have your facts straight…plus i would bet almost any pot smoker would much rather pay taxes for a legal bag of pot than not…and think of how much tax money we could generate….