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Lord have mercy! Jesus stolen from west Midtown manger

Someone robbed the cradle at Star Provisions on Wednesday. Now employees are praying for the return of Jesus.

Someone robbed the cradle at Star Provisions on Wednesday. Now employees are praying for the return of Jesus.

The folks at Star Provisions are eagerly praying for the return of Jesus.

Sometime on Wednesday, a thief who perhaps has not contemplated the possibility of eternal damnation swiped the Christ Child from a manger scene set up in the West Midtown store.

“Merry Christmas,” said a disgusted Dana Kirkpatrick, floor manager at Star Provisions. “It’s wrong on so many levels.”

The shop was pretty busy on Wednesday so employees have no idea who robbed the cradle.

“This is a hand-carved set from Germany. It’s kind of pricey,” said Tim Gaddis, the store’s cheese monger. A former Gilmer County law enforcement officer, we asked how he’d go about investigating the crime if he still wore a badge.

“I would talk to everybody who was working that day, review security tapes,” said Gaddis, whose anguished tweet earlier today alerted us to the caper. “But fingerprints would be pointless.”

Were he to apprehend the culprit, the thief could expect another come-to-Jesus moment.

“You steal baby Jesus, you’re going to jail,” Gaddis said.

The store, part of the gourmet empire that includes Abattoir, Bacchanalia, and Floataway Café, is selling several different nativity sets. The one missing its Jesus would go for $139 but is pretty much worthless without its main attraction.

“That is the whole purpose of the nativity,” Kirkpatrick noted.

Star Provisions is not offering a reward – it just seemed too untoward (perhaps too King Herod-like?) to put a price on Jesus’ head. Gaddis figures the thief knows who he or she is, and hopes to appeal to the better angel’s of that person’s nature.

“Jesus could return quietly in a brown paper bag,” he said. “We just want it back.”

- Jennifer Brett/The Buzz/

25 comments Add your comment

Grant Henry

November 18th, 2011
3:46 pm

I have a few orphan baby Jesus dolls
at Sister Louisa’s CHURCH
if you new a replacement.
Mine might be Chinese.
It’s the Christian thing to do.

Making baby Jesus cry for over 2000 years.

November 18th, 2011
4:29 pm

You know Christmas was originally a Pagan holiday to celebrate the winter solstice. Christians hijacked it and this many years later, we got it all wrong…..Still.

Evander "The Ho Chasin'" Holyfield

November 18th, 2011
5:00 pm

Jennifer – One of the best-written articles I have ever read from the AJC! Bravo. Your tongue-in-cheek lines are priceless.

Jennifer Brett

November 18th, 2011
5:29 pm

Thank you sugah. ;)



November 18th, 2011
7:11 pm

here’s hoping he returns the baby in the manger, and then finds the real Jesus to come and live in his heart!

Name (required)

November 18th, 2011
9:13 pm

I’m glad he’s gone. I don’t like ghosts :(


November 18th, 2011
10:28 pm

Well that nativity scene is in the right place, because that’s the cheeziest looking nativity I’ve ever seen.


November 18th, 2011
10:36 pm

Maybe he was caught up in the rapture!


November 19th, 2011
4:03 am

People use to say the only thing safe from theft was Jesus. Now it looks like the old saying that someone would “…steal Jesus off the cross…” is becoming truer and truer.


November 19th, 2011
7:08 am

Look on the bright side:

At least it wasn’t a living nativity…


November 19th, 2011
8:02 am

Isn’t it too early for baby Jesus to be in the manger, anyway? I’ll bet he will re-appear on December 25th. Hopefully, that is the thief’s intention.


November 19th, 2011
8:48 am

@Making, Christmas was not hijacked. Christians were attempting to convert the pagans and decided to create Christian holidays around the same time of the pagan holidays. Please get your facts straight before you choose to give a history lesson. Not all Christians celebrate Christmas, such as Jehovah Witnesses.

It’s a shame that people would steal something so sacred, but nothing surprises me anymore.


November 19th, 2011
9:08 am

Publicity stunt to get people in the store…..


November 19th, 2011
10:00 am

Clever story. Hope it brings the culprit around to do the right thing.


November 19th, 2011
10:57 am

I don’t meant to start anything, but looking at some of these comments….you’re just asking to get slapped! All those who thought the smart remarks were funny…well they were’nt smart of funny. I imagine they were like the one’s who made them. Could be a publicity stunt, but that’s low as well and their business will only suffer in the end. Now a quick word on Jehovah Witness’… They are a CULT, not Christians….A CULT!!!!! Just is the Mormons. Mitt Romney want to be the leader of America and he belongs to a CULT!!!! Get the Muslim out of the White House and replace him with a Mormon? Just plain stupid. How about Cain or Perry or Newt? Do some research people and read your Bible and maybe we can get out of this mess.


November 19th, 2011
12:10 pm

Any religion that thinks it has to convert others is a cult. That includes Scientology, Islam, and Christianity.


November 19th, 2011
2:13 pm

“Cult” is a term that has gotten loaded with lots of baggage, but it does have a technical meaning. There are several major world religions. Whenever a group within that religion emphasizes one or more practices without changing the core doctrines, it is called a “sect.” Whenever a group changes one or more major teachings of a world religion, it becomes a “cult,” especially if it keeps the terminology but redefines the term.

Distant Relative of Rodney King

November 19th, 2011
2:22 pm

Can’t we all just get along?!?!


November 19th, 2011
2:54 pm

Wow reading some of your responses really gives me the creeps. I will say this REPENT and be BAPTIZED!!!!! THE BLOOD OF JESUS IS AGAINST YOU!!!


November 19th, 2011
4:52 pm

I had a sandwich stolen out of a a quasipublic refrigerator at work once, and I was livid. I’m talking plasma, sulfur, and damnation hot. I was in a rage, and a passerby bravely tossed out, “Maybe somebody needed it more.” Who the bloody H$#@ needs my lunch more than me!! I need my lunch!

While I did find more secure lodgings for my lunch, it did make me think.. really think. Did someone need my lunch more than me? I didn’t starve or anything. Such a simple, common thing for us. DID someone need it more than me? Now, I’m not religious, but I consider myself a good man. I find it particularly relevant when something seemingly common is stolen. A simple thing. A small thing. I leave you with the question I have yet to answer for myself.

Did somebody need it more than you did? Mind you, not want. Need. Food is one thing and religion is another. But, I’m quite sure people can draw the parallel. I am now passing this question along to, I’m sure, a deserving person. I’ve never allowed it to happen again… But still, the question haunts me. Happy Hallo- dangit, Thanksgiving. Good luck with that.


November 19th, 2011
5:35 pm

I would love to think that whomever stole it would return it.

I would also like to point out that it seems entirely too early in the holiday season for Christmas decor mishaps. Doesn’t anyone remember when we also celebrated Thanksgiving… well, as more than feasting before shopping?


November 19th, 2011
7:19 pm

What would Jesus say?

Jesus has a Record of Disappearing and an occasional walk on the waters

Jesus comes up missing from out of his Tomb(Cave,grave) on Easter Sunday,
(was said the Angels rolled away the stone door and took Jesus however Jesus had arisen on his own and the Angels just sort of did the heavy work pushing the stone away Of Course Jesus being the Man(?) that he Was could have easily removed the stone himself. but allowed the Angels to do their assigned duties.

Jesus does have a tendency to Disappear here and there and Re appear..Lets hope he Re appears again because that would be So Tacky if he dosent.

The Nativity would be worthless without the main attraction but a baby jesus with out his manger, mother and father would be worthless as well so theres nothing to gain. its probably a devilish prank from a bored person who dont know what to do with their life they are Lonely and Bored looking for attention..i bet they are some where just laughing their tail off.

carla roqs

November 21st, 2011
8:21 am

whew, some mighty bored or just plain weird people this morning making comments. the only thing i can add has already been said: that is a mighty cheesey looking nativity scene. and in the voice of phineas and ferb, why yes, yes it is too early for Christmas decoration mishaps. aaaaand daggggg, some of you will make an argument outa anything– from j.w. to cults to mormons to Prez Obama and politics. Lord have mercy, please!!!

Grant Henry

November 21st, 2011
9:54 am

“German” Jesus
is in The Yugoslavian Confessional
Don’t tell the cops.
Being half human,
he needs time

maria viray

November 22nd, 2011
5:45 pm

according to biblical protocol (and phineas and ferb apparently), the baby G is not supposed to be in that manger until he’s “born”, on december 25. so perhaps the person(s) star provisions is calling a *thief* may actually be acting in their best interest, and might be planning to reinstate said baby G on the biblically sanctioned date.

should the baby G not reappear in the manger on december 25? i say buy an imported version from grant henry. he’s got lots from which to choose. he might even have a teeny tiny one from mexico, the entire creche in a walnut shell.