Tyler Perry gives parenting advice
Tyler Perry is shown here at the second annual Steve Harvey Foundation Gala, held April 4, in New York. Photo credit: Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for The Steve Harvey Foundation. Photos were provided to the AJC by W&W Public Relations.
Tyler Perry wants parents to step up.
In an emotional essay posted today on his blog, he told his fans about how the sight of a guy crossing the street holding the hand of his toddler made him tear up.
“Why did I have such a strong emotional reaction to this father and son? It didn’t take long for me to realize that it was because I never had those kind of experiences, never knew that kind of unconditional joy, never knew what it felt like to be wanted and adored as a child.”
Perry, who is currently filming “I, Alex Cross” in Cleveland, has talked frequently about suffering abuse as a child. Not quite a year ago, he went on his friend Oprah Winfrey’s show to reveal the painful secrets from his childhood. He discussed, in great candor, physical abuse he suffered as a child at the hands of his father, and sexual abuse by several others.
“I feel like I died as a child,” Perry said during the Oprah appearance. “My father – he hated me so much and I couldn’t understand why. I was sickly all the time, I had asthma. He hated that about me.”
Here is a link to the full article.
Despite his difficult childhood, Perry has said he supports his father today. His mother, whom he adored, has passed away.
“I wonder if the man I called ‘Daddy’ as a child, knew then what he knows now, would he have treated me any differently?” Perry wrote in his essay. “If he had known, the little boy that depended on him for food and shelter would grow up to be a man that he would have to depend on for food and shelter, would he have made different choices?”
Before his mother died, Perry wrote, she marveled at the success he had become and how well he was able to provide for her.
“I get so much joy knowing that I could and I did,” Perry wrote. “That lets me sleep at night. Mom, I thank you! You helped me be able to do that. God bless you!”
He closed his essay with a challenge: “It’s for every parent, the good and the bad. DO YOU KNOW who is in your house? DO YOU KNOW whom you’re raising, and will the child that you delivered, have to deliver you in your old age? Think about it, and know that when you kiss that innocent face of your child, you kiss the face of God.”
The essay has been linked to and circulated numerous times. Among the many fans tweeting it out to their followers are actor Boris Kodjoe and his wife, actress Nicole Ari Parker, who live in Atlanta with their children.
- Jennifer Brett/The Buzz/jbrett@ajc.com
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80 comments Add your comment
beebee
August 16th, 2011
11:46 am
All you black people calling TP a transvite and a homosexual, trying to negate his words of encouragment and saying he has no business sounding off: Y’all are still ENSLAVED!
Loving This Opp!
August 16th, 2011
11:53 am
@L.Hill ~ the same things goes on in the white community. Especially on the other side of the tracks…NEXT!
Abena
August 16th, 2011
12:22 pm
Although I can’t stand this self righteous hypocrite, the message he’s giving here is true. Whats the problem. ANd Kew, how stupid are you??? You assume these are black people which they probably are not and idiots like you run off those assumptions.
Grasshopper
August 16th, 2011
2:14 pm
Enter your comments here
One Striking Rattler
August 16th, 2011
2:32 pm
@Nonia….”one needs to be a parent to know what parenting is……”
I’ve had a different experience. Some of the most helpful parenting advice I received came from my godmother who was kind, gracious, brilliant and childless.
May I ask what leads you to believe that Mr. Perry’s encouraging parents to know their children has no value?
Thank you Rattler!
August 16th, 2011
2:51 pm
Some of the advice I received from my childless AUNT has lasted me a LIFETIME! I wish she were here right now! There are so many things I’d still like to ask her…
You don’t have to be a parent to show common sense kindness, thoughtfulness, and concern.
Some of the people on here are VERY UNHAPPY beings…I can’t say “human” beings. *shrugs shoulders*
MP
August 16th, 2011
3:16 pm
Tyler Perry needs to tell these punks to hike up their pants and quit holding their crotch when they are walking their pit bull.
kew
August 16th, 2011
3:20 pm
Carla, you must have had some kind of bad experience in your life concerning slavery because it’s not that big of a deal. I notice you are the only one who have a problem with my statement. I was not I was not trying to put anyone in slavery or direct slavery to anyone. I was making an example or a point. Yes I could have used any subject to make a point, but I chose to use that one only because I was told by my parents and grandparents that my ancesters had to endure slavery – therefore I learned from them and was able to teach my children the samething. The point is I didn’t have to endure slavery to be able to tell my kids about it – just like Tyler don’t have to have kids to talk about how to be parents…WHY? because he learned along the way. Please don’t make it into something it’s not. Thanks
kew
August 16th, 2011
3:22 pm
Oh by the way Kew is my initials – not a sorority
Ms. Information
August 16th, 2011
3:46 pm
One only has to have been a child to understand parenting. Good or Bad.
Pamela
August 16th, 2011
4:01 pm
I received his message. He is right. I love Tyler Perry. God Bless Him….He was on point with everything he said..
carla roqs
August 16th, 2011
4:24 pm
kew, Que is not a sorority, and you are clearly not a part of the talented tenth. by your comments it would seem to me that someone IS still in the midst of slavery. i could be the only to have noticed or commented upon anything as i tend to be individualistic. and to write that i have had a bad experience with slavery is just stupid. i hope that your children are learning about more than slavery from you.
Hardup
August 16th, 2011
5:12 pm
For Crying Out Loud all he is saying is “BE CAREFUL HOW YOU TREAT PEOPLE, WE NEVER KNOW WHO WE MIGHT NEED BEFORE WE LEAVE HERE”, simply put. Some people about anything, those are the one’s to avoid.
Hardup
August 16th, 2011
5:13 pm
“complain” about anything
Shaynetta
August 16th, 2011
6:04 pm
This is good Tyler and also I had a wrote two major essay’s in my life and lost them and one was about if you were homeless in America How would you survive. This is part of your story that happened too me (“I feel like I died as a child,” Perry said during the Oprah appearance. “My father – he hated me so much and I couldn’t understand why. I was sickly all the time. I was also and now I’m so ready to move forward in my life to the next chapter and yes I was an abuse child. Pretty Much with a compelling spirit. A.K.A XTRABAD
cece (SOPHIA)
August 16th, 2011
6:31 pm
GOD BLESS YOU! Mr. Tyler Perry I think that it is great how you are so open and real. It’s truely refreshing to see that being successful has not shamed you to speaking about your past and what was lacking in your life. Young people need this for food for thought because it still helps to prove that no matter your circumstances you can still overcome adversity. CONTINUE BEING A LIGHT THAT SHINES BRIGHT!
betty
August 16th, 2011
7:17 pm
Lord you ppl are a hating bunch, can you not see TP was just talking what it was like to be abused & children wanting love & trying to get parents or someone to be there to listen to the children & help in anyway they can God help you ignorant folks
NITA
August 16th, 2011
7:34 pm
First of all I am in the same boat Tyler Perry’s in I Feel For Him Iam not a parent and we all know he’s been through alot these couple of yrs But it is wrong for him to share what’s on his mind with the world I feel he has that right. Don’t Put Tyler Perry Down That makes me angry if u are going to buy his movies and support him let Him have his say so also if u are Going to be there for Tyler
Perry be there 100% not 50 % all 100% of the way Much Love To U Tyl er I Got Your back 110%
Quit talking about Tyler perry let the man speak and say what he wants on his own blog and it’s his Own right if he wants to share it with he world if u don’t like it get off of his mailing list =}
Kew
August 16th, 2011
7:43 pm
Carla, just get the overall picture. Didn’t mean to offend you or anyone. I take all I said back.
Grasshopper
August 16th, 2011
11:15 pm
Kew, pay no attention to Carla; she’s hypocritical.
A couple of weeks back, on the Food and More blog, she called me a racist for questioning why the bloggers gave calorie counts for fast food joints and not falafels or Vietnamese soup. She was serious too…or drunk!
She clearly has a few issues; the least among them being reading comprehension.
carla roqs
August 17th, 2011
7:45 am
grasshopper, actually i felt you were racist because that was the SECOND comment you’d made (the first was on another blog) and you were upset because “American food” was called out, whereas food from other countries was not called it. if you are gonna call a spade a spade, get it right. and you are NO WHERE near what is going on with kew and me. @kew- thank you and i take back all i said as well. @ grasshopper: hop hop hop hop hop away!
carla roqs
August 17th, 2011
7:46 am
…food from other countries was not called ‘out’, (not it, lol)
kew
August 17th, 2011
7:53 am
Thanks Carla – we cool.
Marie
August 17th, 2011
8:40 am
@Good day — What nonsense? Tyler Perry is not getting rich by taking one dime from the poor. You are a silly liberal bed wetter who believes all the stupidity that political clowns on tv say to you. This is country for now is based on capitalism and Mr. Perry is simply providing a form of entertainment that people want to purchase. He is not forcing one soul to purchase a movie or play ticket or buy/rent a DVD. And if you’re too freaking poor to afford what he’s offering then you should not be doing it. So he’s taking nothing from no one. However thieves who break the law and pirate his DVDs are taking money out of his pocket. And that is probably fine for folks who think like you. Why don’t you thank God for rich folk like Tyler Perry who can afford to load up a tractor trailer truck of food, clothes, toys, etc., and deliver it to hq of The Hosea Williams Feed the Hungry as he has done in the past; so the poor could have a decent meal on a holiday. After all if the world was only made up of poor folks and critics like you there would be no one to help during your time of misery.
Now have a good day!!!
Grasshopper
August 17th, 2011
9:13 am
Like I said, Carla can’t read. I did not call out ‘American food.’ Go back and read the post and my comments.
Carla = Race-baiter
And by the way, you have no idea WHAT my ethnicity is, do you?
carla roqs
August 17th, 2011
12:55 pm
hophop, honey: i am not a diviner of ethnicities. i dont care about anything about you. you entered a conversation i was having with someone else and began throwing insults about. your opinion matters not, your race matters not–baby doll, YOU matter not. so… let me bait you now and hopefully you will finally hop hop hoppity hop away: grasshoppers are nasty, grasshoppers should go back to where they belong, dont fishermen use them sometimes as lures? maybe we shall all be lucky and some fish will snap you up…
Grasshopper
August 17th, 2011
1:52 pm
Alas, many fish have tried. Yet none have succeeded.
By the way pooky, there are no private conversations on a public blog. And if my race matters not, how can I be racist?
D.Marie
August 17th, 2011
6:59 pm
Mr. Perry has a very good perspective of Life especialy if he has lived it. I have never posted a comment nor gotten in between comments of people, but I decided I should leave this out here for those who like to judge but don’t see your own deal!
Mr. Perry has been a blessing by writting and producing all these movies and plays. If you notice each play has a meaning, and this is the way he lets his point come out. One thing I always say; “you don’t have to live a situation just to have experienced it. There’s many ways of experiencing a situation it could be living it or it could be supporting it with a friend or family member who is passing through it. I personaly have given great advise as a child without having to be an adult. Why? How? God can use you to do his will wether your 4 years old or wether your 40 years old. In this case Mr.Perry has lived it, therefore by more means he has the right to speak out what he believes is right!
Also, about his sexual prefrences it really surprised me being that with such a word and message to all people out their, is truely supprising to even beleive hi is a homosexual. However, I doubt it, but even if he was, he is letting himself be guided by God, this is his way of preaching the word of God. His productions are so emotionaly attached and it has a strong meaning that through his productions he praises God. If he was to be homosexual, I would leave him in the hands of God, and let God judge that, even though the word of God states clearly of the homosexuality being incorrect, BUT once again is not for us to discriminate or to judge but to pray of and let God do what he has to do!
For all the women and men who act out on the productions of Mr. Perry; Wow truely appreciate your voice, ya have the most beautiful voice May God Bless you for that and for doing God’s will!
God Bless Everyone!!!
D.Marie
Tammy Payton
August 17th, 2011
10:05 pm
I can understand what you’re saying; I feel such emotions when I see my son, a single parent taking care if his four years old daughter. It’s a sight to see him combing her hair and putting her outfits together for daycare. She has changed his life for the good; he now works two jobs and handles his responsibilities. Whereas before, he was hanging with his boys and getting in trouble, nothing serious, but just making crazy decisions. To God be the glory for the change he has made. Therefore, I get it.
Kodak moments are special
August 18th, 2011
1:57 pm
Yeah, I know what Mr. Perry is saying.
There are some visual experiences that are just priceless.
I enjoy seeing precious moments that make you say, WOW – how touching !
I recall a time when I laid eyes on an elderly couple
tightly holding hands as they slowly proceeded to crossed a busy street.
The man took such care to protect his wife from harm. It was as if he knew he had an irreplaceable treasure worthy to behold. The image just tugged at my heart. It was truly a Kodak moment.
You don’t often see many senior couples holding hands in public.