I am so glad that I opened this new e-mail account, AJCrecruiting@yahoo.com, for the purpose of fielding your questions for the weekly Recruiting Mailbag. Never could I have dreamed it would lead to such good fortune!
So far, I’ve won a total of 2,350,000 euros in lotteries and sweepstakes I didn’t even realize I’d entered. There’s one young lady who wants to start a relationship with me and another one, Miss Aisha, who wants “to tell me something and send me a picture.” I’ve apparently gotten some great news from Quebec, only I can’t read the French to figure out what it is. And then there’s this poor lady named Mrs. Magret(sic) Winter who’s on her sickbed and needs me to contact her lawyer.
But I’m going to have to get around to all of that later. My inbox is so stuffed with questions from you guys that I haven’t had time to make my claims. So without further ado, let’s hurry and answer the mail so I can claim my booty (as in goods and money, shame on you!).