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Seven things I (sorta) learned from the Halloween special of ‘Honey Boo Boo’

mayonnaise honey boo booI didn’t learn much from last night’s “Honey Boo Boo” Halloween special but here’s my grand effort:

1) Wop sided is a word – at least on this show. Yes, this is a very casual term for lop sided. The kids found a “wop sided” pumpkin. Family members compared it to Mama’s buttock’s cheeks and her stomach.

2) Don’t stick a pumpkin your head. We actually learned this from many a sitcom (see “Friends”) But Uncle Poodle decided to try it anyway and yes, he couldn’t get it off.”It looks like Mama’s pumpkin was eating Poodle,” Honey Boo Boo said.  He eventually banged his way out.

3) Mayonnaise is scary! The producers took the labels off the jars of mayonnaise Honey Boo Boo is glopping into bowls (see right). Probably smart because this was not a good advertisement for what looked like unappetizing gloppy gook. Apparently, Mama is not a fan (though she will eat chicken and tuna salad.) “It’s like a phobia,” she said. She runs away when presented with said mayo.

4) Fatter is as fatter does: Most of the girls are looking more and more like their Mama. That’s not necessarily a good thing. But the fat does not necessarily keep their pants up when they jump on a trampoline.

5) There is such a thing as fart ghost: You smell it before you see it. That’s according to Honey Boo Boo, paranormal expert.

6) Corn mazes are not good for the bladder. The family was in the maze so long, Mama ended up taking a bathroom break – in the corn.

7) Blondes have more fun, no matter what: Mama goes blonde and her man really wants her now. “Give Sugar Bear some honey,” said Sugar Bear. “Hubba hubba! When she came out as Marilyn Monroe [for Halloween,] I instantly became Horny Bear!”

8) Dental floss: the new Halloween candy. “Who gives out dental floss for Halloween? Some people are crazy!” Honey Boo Boo notes.

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20 comments Add your comment

The Austrian Brotherhood

January 7th, 2013
2:12 pm

First. And it feels so gooood. It’s economics, not a white hoooood.

Rickster

January 7th, 2013
2:18 pm

Seven things that came to mind while reading this thread:

1. Whoever said “You’ll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of people” was right.
2. You need dental floss when you only have one tooth?
3. Some things are paranormal. The Honey Boo-Boo family are pseudo-normal.
4. I don’t care… Sugar Bear.”
5. Too bad it couldn’t have been that big maze in “The Shining.”
6. What do you get when Mama Bear rests against their home? Tramp-o-Lean
7. I wouldn’t want Rodney’s job no matter how much they pay me.

scott

January 7th, 2013
2:22 pm

Also, we learned that Uncle Poodle is a UGA fan

FarTrain

January 7th, 2013
2:22 pm

I learned that “stupid” comes in all shapes and sizes.

Laura

January 7th, 2013
2:22 pm

The ultimate in train wreck viewing.

FarTrain

January 7th, 2013
2:27 pm

“Mama taking a bathroom break in the corn maize” was a visual that actually gave me nightmares during the night. Too bad there wasn’t a Georgia rattlesnake close by. Would have been interesting to see who would have sucked the poison out of her butt !

TG

January 7th, 2013
2:57 pm

Is Georgia the new Alabama or Mississppi? Seems like we are replacing those states as the nation’s laughing stock now.

I’ve always heard people say “I am now dumber for having seen this” and I never really experienced that feeling til I read this post. Wow, feels really strange. I am going to go try to find the brain cells that escaped now.

Ueeediot

January 7th, 2013
3:19 pm

It was called a jumpoline until momma got on it

Mercedes S.

January 7th, 2013
3:39 pm

RoHo I didn’t want to know ANY of those things.

snailboy

January 7th, 2013
6:28 pm

Honey -boo-boo needs to make a guess appearance on The Walking Dead…

Deedra

January 7th, 2013
6:44 pm

We have lot’s of official Georgia stuff – song, bird, flower etc., we should make Honey Boo Boo the official Georgia child.

Vexorg

January 7th, 2013
7:19 pm

One wonders how the public would react if this was a black family being poked fun of and portrayed as such….Jessie and Al would have a massive conniption fit.

missnadine

January 7th, 2013
7:43 pm

I think this family is disgusting. I have not watched it but I have seen enough previews and interviews to have an opinion. That mom should be cited for child abuse, feeding that kid garbage day in and out. @Vexorg – shows make fun of Black people all the time – whether real Housewives, Love & Hop hop, etc… plus, there is a new show that I just read about which has an Atlanta-based rapper with 10+ children and as many wives.

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Sid

January 8th, 2013
9:28 am

Fart Ghost? How do you SEE a fart? Without lighting it, I mean….

Rickster

January 8th, 2013
9:52 am

I’m looking at the picture… trying to figure out which is more intelligent – the mayo or the girl. And honestly… I’m having trouble deciding.

But I’m actually leaning towards the mayo.

[...] what looked like unappetizing gloppy gook. Apparently, Mama is not a fan (though she … …Source Tags: Honey Boo Boo window.fbAsyncInit = function() { FB.init({ appId : 275244229221412, [...]

Rickster

January 8th, 2013
12:11 pm

Deedra… I would suggest we designate Honey Boo-Boo the Official Georgia “Embarassment”

WAR EAGLE

January 8th, 2013
1:40 pm

I can see it now “Here Come Shaniqua Who Dat! And the get down and boogie band with Mama Say What. You know those people HAVE to have their own shows. Separate but equal

BoogerFree

January 10th, 2013
5:28 pm

People actually watch this barf? Amazing.