Welcome aboard the crazy train, Kenya Moore!
The new cast member/model/actress/producer/former Miss USA provides ample moments of bitchiness tonight, providing “Real Housewives of Atlanta” fans an appetizer of what’s to come season five.
Otherwise, this felt like a “catch up” episode after several months absence. Kim Zolciak is pregnant again and having house troubles to boot. (She got a quote for how much to move her 17,000-square-foot house of stuff into storage for 120 days: $101,000! Who’s moving her house? Donald Trump?)
Phaedra Parks is trying to expand into dog funerals as she continues to get into mortuary services despite the fact she is afraid of dogs. Lean into your discomfort Phaedra!
Cynthia Bailey’s modeling agency is plugging along. We also see her baby’s daddy wanting their daughter to go back to a regular school instead of home schooling. Cynthia, who wants to keep her daughter home schooled, loses that argument.
Kandi Burruss has got a new boo, who was working in production for “Real Housewives,” and she has gotten herself a monstrous “dream house” she picked up from foreclosure.
NeNe Leakes, who surprisingly returned for another season, is reconciling with ex-husband Gregg Leakes while hobnobbing in Hollywood thanks to her new role on “The New Normal.” (She tries to impress “New Normal” producer Ryan Murphy by trying to reach Tyler Perry. But the number is disconnected.)
But let’s focus a bit more on Kenya.
She moved from Los Angeles and has a boyfriend she’d like to be her hubby one day. “I am ready to walk down the aisle and have children,” she tells V-103’s Ryan Cameron. “Love is in the air. This is a new chapter.”
As noted, she’s a former Miss USA who may or may not have had a bigger modeling career than Cynthia. Cynthia is working with Jet Magazine to find a “Jet Beauty of the Week” and invited Kenya to be one of the judges. Bailey says they are looking for curves and a big posterior.
The producers edited it so Kenya comes off as especially mouthy. “I was looking for someone who reminded me of myself,” Kenya says. “Sexy, strong and really represents black women well.”
We hear a few nice things she says such as: “I”m not gay but that’s pretty hot.”
But then the mean girl comes out.
“Have you ever seen me in a magazine?” she asks another model wannabe at one point. The poor woman hesitates, clearly not having a clue who Kenya is, and looks to Cynthia for guidance. “I”m the one who asked you the question,” Kenya says. “Look at me.”
“I was looking for an Adam’s apple,” she says at another point about a woman she thought looked a bit guy-ish.
Cynthia is annoyed by Kenya’s antics. “We’re not here to tear anybody down. That’s pointless and it’s meanspirited.”
“I’m not trying to be the mean girl but why are you here?” she says to another hapless model.
“Yo, man, you gotta cut it out,” another judge says.
“Is this strip club Jet?” she says to another woman, who shows her plumber’s crack. And Kenya is displeased while Cynthia takes it with aplomb. She begins throwing off crack references. “That is inappropriate and I am offended,” she announces.
“Now people from Jet are uncomfortable,” Cynthia says. And she thinks Kenya is being a hypocrite given some of the modeling gigs she’s done. “Real Housewives” editors helpfully show two of the revealing cover shots.
Carlton, Cynthia’s assistant, is getting annoyed with Kenya. He tells her to chill out. She takes offense, wondering who he is. “Step off!” she says. “Security!”
Some big dude pops out of nowhere to push Terrence away from Kenya. “I always have security with me,” she explains. “People are crazy.” (Really? Is she Halle Barry all of a sudden?)
Cynthia finally steps into the fray. “This is not about trying to insult these women. That’s not what the Bailey Agency is about. Or Jet magazine.”
“My criticism is only to help,” Kenya says, defending herself, “If someone hadn’t taken me aside and shown me the correct way to dress for auditions, I would never book a job.”
When the finalists are presented, Kenya stands up and compliments them. Cynthia, insulted, stands up next and notes that this IS the Bailey Agency, ahem. “This is my school,” she said.
“Cynthia just mimicked everything I said,” Kenya later says. “It’s like she doesn’t have an original thought… There’s a possibility that Cynthia is a little intimidated by jme.”
“She is disrespecting the school. She’s disrespecting that I’m the boss,” says Cynthia, who doesn’t appear intimidated at all.
“If Kenya comes for me, I’m coming for Kenya,” Cynthia says. “We can do this all day long like a tennis court. My court, your court. Let’s go!”
If you are wondering about the other new cast member, Porsha Williams Stewart, she doesn’t show up yet. You’ll see her later in the season.
TRAILER for next week: NeNe is at a Pride festival. The ladies want to hold her a party. Kim gets a beautiful bracelet. Kenya wants to know to a bit about her boyfriend, who admits to having dated Kandi once. Kim and NeNe run into each other. Cynthia is a bit defensive about her friendship with NeNe, who is getting to know Kenya at the party.
Here’s a video of Phaedra Parksand Porsha Stewart talking about what’s to come this season.