In possibly the strangest interview I’ve ever had in more than 20 years in this business, I did a phone interview last week with “Patti,” the “wife” of A. Zombie, a fictional creation cooked up by AMC, which is trying to get back on Dish Network.
Dish and AMC Networks are embroiled in a nasty battle, likely connected with a previous lawsuit. (Read the gory details here.) But Dish is saying AMC is asking for too much bloody money and as a result, won’t air their programming (which includes WE and IFC, too.) This dispute has been dragging on for weeks.
So AMC Networks has had A. Zombie run for “president” with one primary issue: pressure Dish to bring the network back, where “The Walking Dead” will return October 14 – or convince Dish subscribers to go elsewhere. He has traveled to Tampa for the Republican National Convention and will be at Dragon*Con starting this evening.
Here’s his appearance schedule:
Friday, August 31
Saturday, September 1
Patti spoke to me because her “husband” (yes, I am going to put a lot of things in air quotes in this article) can’t talk. Why? He’s a zombie. Zombies can only grunt.
Oddly, her “husband” A. Zombie has not eaten her despite the fact she’s a delectable, sentient human being. “He’s mostly hungry for good TV,” she added. And the fact of the matter is, he is a “killer in bed… let’s just say he’s not dead everywhere!”
How old is he? “Seems like an eternity. I do not know. But I do know this: he is willing to share the last 500 years of his tax returns.”
Does he watch “The Walking Dead”? “Are you kidding me? It’s our very favorite show. Finally, zombies are represented on TV. He’s thrilled about it.”
His one-issue platform: “We want people to switch from Dish in time for ‘The Walking Dead’ season debut October 14. We feel this is an issue that is of utmost importance. He could have taken this lying down. He was already lying down. He is standing up for equal viewing opportunities for everyone. He’s dead serious. My husband may be voiceless but Americans should not be choiceless. A blank TV will make people zombies. That’s a bad kind of zombie! Good government starts with good television programming!”
He is looking forward to his trip to Atlanta. “The zombie population there is huge,” as evidenced on the show, Patti said.
The predicted result come November: “One candidate will take the blue states. Another will take the red states. We’re confident we can take the dead states.”
What are upsides of being a zombie? “He’s a good dancer. He’s the death of the party!”
What’s the downside? “It’s not an issue that he can’t talk. He’s a strong man with strong character. A lot of America’s greatest presidents are now dead. He will strive to increase America’s work force even if it kills him again. You know how hard it is for him to get health care? He has a $5 million deductible!”
Slogan: “He may be dead but he’s dead right for America!”
By Rodney Ho, Radio & TV Talk