‘Nightline’ coming to Atlanta April 9 for live debate about why successful black women can’t get a man
ABC’s “Nightline’ is taping an episode April 9 in Decatur about how tough it is for college-educated black women to find good black men.
Radio host and best-selling relationships author Steve Harvey will moderate with Vicki Mabrey, a “Nightline” correspondent. Mabrey said Atlanta was picked specifically because of the high number of professional black women in the city.
“A lot of women have satisfying, fulfilling jobs,” Mabrey said. “They have family, church and close friends. Women are not held down in the kitchen anymore. But they still want a man. As Billy Dee Williams said, ‘Success is nothing without anyone to share it with.’ That’s been the mantra to deal with.”
The network is seeking 600 people to populate the crowd from 7 to 9 p.m. It’s free, first come first serve. Mabrey said in an interview earlier this week that she expects the audience to be heavily packed with women. She’s hoping enough guys can come in to present their viewpoints.
The panel includes two single men: actor and perpetual bachelor Hill Harper (”CSI: NY, right) and Jimi Izrael, NPR contributor and author of “The Denzel Principle” who has been married twice and divorced twice and seems to be a bit peeved at black women. They are joined by Sherri Shepherd from “The View,” a divorcee who has discussed this subject many times on the show, and Clark Atlanta grad and journalist Jacque Reid, last seen on VH1’s “Let’s Talk about Pep.”
The show is scheduled to air at 11:35 p.m. on Wednesday, April 21, presuming breaking news does not postpone it. The full two-hour forum will be available online here the same day it airs.
“Nightline” will pose questions such: Are black women’s expectations too high? Who’s to blame: black women or black men? Is it just bad demographics, with twice as many college-educated black women than black men? Should black women date outside their race?
Mabrey said the forum came about after such a strong reaction from a piece “Nightline” aired last December (focused on Atlanta.) Check that story out here:
The event is at Porter Sanford Performing Arts Center in Decatur, Georgia. The “Face-Off” is an occasional “Nightline” series launched two years ago in which hot topics are debated among prominent voices in their field. The first “Face-Off” topic was “Are we programmed to cheat?”
Where: Porter Sanford Performing Arts Center
3181 Rainbow Drive
Decatur, GA
On TV
“Nightline,” 11:35 p.m. on weekdays on ABC
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173 comments Add your comment
dewstarpath
April 9th, 2010
5:01 pm
Ever think that there might not be a correlation between the two? More black women with higher paying jobs — more black women attending church.
And people wonder why the South lags in SAT scores, particularly for minorities.
There’s nothing wrong with attending church or having faith – just don’t do it
at someone’s expense – such as burning a cross on a lawn or lynching somebody.
dewstarpath
April 9th, 2010
5:03 pm
Native ATLien – Well said. I liked your post so much
I decided to cut and paste it again:
April 9th, 2010
4:27 pm
Am I the only one who feels this is a tired topic? This is not an issue specific to black women. Women of all races go thru issues with dating/relationships. Men of all races go thru issues with dating/relationships…
Here’s my take: Love and respect yourself. Live your life to the fullest. And most important be open to a “good man”, not just a good “black” man. Race does not determine whether this is the best man/person for you.
Purpleone
April 9th, 2010
5:06 pm
@Marie…you might be on to something…Though I’m one of the women that ‘can’t find a man’, I just hate when ppl think I don’t have one because of something I’m doing or not. The sterotype does not apply to all so in my case, if I’m not walking around superficial, am humble, doing the Lord’s work, work hard, educated, know my role, know the mans role, etc., how is it my fault I can’t attract anyone to me? Sometimes, the bottom line is, it is just hard!
atlkevin
April 9th, 2010
5:08 pm
@Kiso– I don’t know you or your mother, but you both sound like pretty amazing people. Kudos your mom for raising such a class act, and kudos for you for working hard for your place in life. Your proof-positive that parents have a profound effect on how their kids turn out.
For the record, I’m a 30-something, right-leaning white male. See, I know people don’t like to believe it, but there are white males that everyone doesn’t have to hate.
Keep it going, Kiso!!!!!
Regina
April 9th, 2010
5:09 pm
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, African American women have the highest rates of being overweight or obese compared to other groups in the U.S. About four out of five African American women are overweight or obese.
MYTOOCENTS
April 9th, 2010
5:38 pm
So you’re saying that there is a PLETHORA of successful black women b/c they have God’s favor…….and black men don’t? So in YOUR spiritual world the fact that employers would rather hire AND promote a black women over a black man is nonsensical? Black women are a twofer when it comes to affirmative action…..black AND female. I honestly believe that God provides blessings to all who are faithful to Him, but the implication that that God FAVORS black women over black men is disingenuous.
You also attribute the success of black women to their MERE ATTENDANCE at church…….like simply sitting in the pews is going bring forth prosperity. I wonder how many of those women are in church LOOKING for a man……believing the long held myth that a God-fearing, church-going man is the best. Hmmmmmm, THAT’S why preachers NEVER have problems with their marriages! Yeah, right!
Listen, we can debate the effects of spirituality on success for black women, but one thing is clear……..black women are raised these days to be more self-sufficient. Add in some good old fashioned hiring quotas and you guys literally have success HANDED TO YOU.
dewstarpath
April 9th, 2010
5:47 pm
Regina – You make a legitimate point.
But black women don’t have any genetic
predisposition to be overweight, IMHO.
Do you know why this is? The obesity problem with
black women is the same for all of the other obese
people in the US – in general, it is lack of metabolic
activity.
It used to be in this country that a job involved
physical and mental effort. But something happened
in the past three decades that made people more
sedentary and prone to trivial pursuits, such as
“why can’t I find a man “? I don’t think you have to be
a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
Another problem is this business of being “empowered”.
A lot of people are using that term, especially black women.
It’s often used in conjunction with “being strong”. Please.
I doubt any of them looked it up to find out what it actually
means:
empower v.t. 1. To authorize; delegate authority to.
2. To enable; permit.
You don’t have to work for NASA to figure out this one, either.
If you’re black, you know where the enabling and the
permission comes from.
MYTOOCENTS
April 9th, 2010
5:48 pm
Thanks Regina……I forgot to mention that most gyms are FILLED with black men and white women…..what do you think is going to happen? Why do black women eat til their heart’s content, then turn around and get mad at a brotha for dating a white girl? Which is probably the same one he met AT THE GYM!
Hmmmmmm, do white women have more respect for their men b/c they (white men) don’t tolerate obesity? A black woman would rather criticize a black man for dating a more fit, and therefore, attractive woman (be it White, Hispanic, or Asian), than criticize HERSELF when she looks in the mirror……..YOU may want to ignore it, BUT WE WON’T!
dewstarpath
April 9th, 2010
6:03 pm
MYTOOCENTS – You hit the nail right on the head –
especially the last line of your post.
Why else do you see all of the ads for the “no, Im not
an actress/actor” 6-months to a degree strip-mall college
with all women in the ad ? And all of them with a “Stepford
Wives” grin on their face ? Parlayed success isn’t real
success, for women or for men. Its the old “bird in a
gilded cage” parable played out in reality.
And the whole “every black woman a success, every black
man a thug” mentality is right out of H.G. Wells’
The Time Machine with women as the “Eloi” and
men as the “Morlochs”.
kiso72
April 9th, 2010
7:42 pm
@atlkevin
Thank you for the kind words. God has showed me favor in my life because of my obedience and patience. My mother nurtured and raised me to be a man. Great to hear such words from a right-leaning man. Shows your heart and I appreciate the encouragement.
listen2meppl
April 10th, 2010
8:35 am
Rod: LOVE your post…It’s about compromise and 2 ppl loving each other…Not about material things, status and one person being pleased all the time! Once again women…Learn to compromise and stop looking for a MAN to give you everything you need. I am a happily married blk. woman who is speaking from experience. By the way, my husband adores me, is a GOOD provider, I adore him and contribute to the household as well. Men love it when they know they can count on you to carry on if anything were to happen to him. We are both “smart” hard working individuals who LOVE each other for WHO we are. The material things were increased LATER! And thanks to Regina for your post. I hear too many women, who do not even TRY to carry themselves well looking for a “cute” brother who has “everything”. And when you try to talk to these women, they get angry and lash out “well, YOU have a good man”. Wellllll, perhaps these women should take note. I work hard, (9-5), run a small business from 5-9, cook, help with managing the household, AND take care of myself–and by the way, my husband does the same. So, teamwork, hard work and tenacity helps also.
And, to the “Angry Black Man”….From a black woman who hears these black women complain….Keep talking, brother. Perhaps some day some of these ladies will listen. My husband says the same thing! I LOVEEEE YOUR POST BELOW! Just the other day, I asked a lady I know “would you date a blue collar brother”, and her answer was “yes”. But, that’s after 2 failed marriages that never should have happened in the first place, and several engagements (looking for someone to help get her hair and nails done). Mind you, she’s no better looking than the average woman, and she has NO skills. Every time I suggest some things she can do to contribute to a relationship, what I get from her is “I don’t know how to do that kinda stuff”. I guess she thinks that’s cute. My husband LOVES the fact that I am capable of doing a multitude of things well. Another thing is the “mouth”. Sista’s we all have it, but we’ve gotta know how and when to use it…Not saying that you should accept anything that comes with the package, but if you have a good black man (or ANY man for that matter), tame the tongue, please. Believe me, even God agrees. Read the scriptures. We talk, but we don’t yell at each other…can’t say that there hasn’t been at least one time because we are all human, but for the most part…we don’t. Remember: If you’re looking for a good man, learn how to do something besides depend on HIM. Have your own life before you meet him and stop all the fake foolishness. In these economic times, it takes 2 salaries (and the children’s checks) to make it. Just kidding about the children’s checks, just addiding a bit of humor to the post.
Angry Black Man::::Love your comments below!
There are plenty of Postal Workers, mechanics and UPS drivers (some who make upwards of $70,000 per year) that these women would NEVER give a shot. The guys should be thankful.
d.elaine
April 10th, 2010
10:33 am
I am married,older,Black, spouse is Black also,new to posting comments so forgive the typing,but here goes- first, I did not hear these women say ALL of these things you all are arguing about, I heard the “news” commentator doing most of the talking. I heard a lot of cutting and slicing of bits of conversations, sound bites, and superficiality, Our so called “news” en-fo-tain-ment media treated this topic the same way they treat every topic- they are only interested in ratings and “controversy” remember health care and the Tea Party, and now you all are arguing and taking pot shots at one another-like the slaves on Massa Lynch’s plantation. ABC news will move on to some other story laughing all the way to the bank. Everyone needs to be a healthy skeptic of how the news media presents any topic. While many of the comments here are good,entertaining and smart-some on this and other sites have been hurtful -why? This is like watching Black men and Black women in a circular firing squad- Who benefits?
I Was In The Audience
April 10th, 2010
10:34 am
Well I was there and I must tell you that you missed an exciting debate on last night. What I observed is that the panelist the women talked too much and the guys didn’t talk enough. I think that black women as a whole need to be a little more humble and listen to the black man. There were good points last night on both sides and in the audience. I just hope that as a people that we realize that this is a problem in our culture. We need to value relationship and family if not our children will suffer because there will be less uncles, aunts and cousins if we don’t hurry and get it together. I am married but what is to happen to my daughters when they grow up?
d.elaine
April 10th, 2010
11:00 am
Oh, sorry, told you I was new to this, I was referring to the 42% Night line story, -also, I know many single Black women and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is not all this “blah,blah about no-good Black men” Their reasons for not marrying are as varied as each woman and cannot be summed up for a quickie news sound bite. Also any discussion in the Black community needs some light not just heat. We also need a plan. Don’t let the gray hair fool you, I have always liked “They smart” by Scarface. Too bad we don’t have more messages like that in music and rap today.
d.elaine
April 10th, 2010
11:13 am
correction “Smartz” by Scarface.
Few men in the house
April 10th, 2010
7:32 pm
Uh, Morehouse has 40 percent men on the D/L and dressing as women (dress code or not). Signed…Faculty member.
MarriedSista
April 11th, 2010
11:55 am
I am a happily married Black woman who is a college graduate. It isn’t difficult to find a good man. To my sistas who are single, successful and lonely…it might be your fault. Lose the elitist attitudes, knock that chip off your shoulders, and you just might meet a nice man.
Jahari
April 11th, 2010
10:55 pm
It is almost comical to come to this forum (link sent by a friend) and witness people pointing fingers, and grouping all successful single black women together by using one or two unilateral reasons as to why we have not found a husband. I am willing to bet the reason that I am single, is different from the reason my neighbor two doors over is single; or my best friend on the opposite coast is single. And judging from the state of most marriages these days we actually might be the “blessed ones.” I am not a bitter single woman asking for someone to support me and keep me “blinged out.” I can do that for myself. I will cherish a life partner who provides me spiritual and mental support. I have dated outside of my race, and will continue to do so. If you haven’t figured out that you find the same people in every race just basically wrapped in a different package, that is so sad for you. Throughout history there have been women and men who have gone a lifetime without finding a mate. Singe women — enjoy your life. If your life mate comes — then he comes. Do not beat up on yourself and think that you are less than if a husband does not come along. Use your single time to do the things you love. And do not think that it is something that you are doing wrong that has kept you single — maybe it is something that you are doing right. Be blessed and live your life. And to the ALL the women and men out there “who know a good single brotha,” why don’t you introduce him to a good single woman. Maybe together you can solve this “problem.” We black women do not need another televised forum telling us what is “wrong” with us. Hey black men – how about telling a black woman what she is doing “right.”
Miq
April 12th, 2010
12:32 am
Ladies, the criteria for finding your life partner should not be a long list of superficial things. For me, the test was simple, would he be there for me when I needed him & was I willing to be there for him. When my husband and I met, I was divorced with two little boys and me having more education was unimportant. He could talk about anything, he was funny, he liked music, he had travelled during his stint in the military, and he was just plain interesting, When I needed a friend he was there for me. I listened to his dreams, we debated, had long conversations and we fought too. We built a relationship over time. We’ve been married for 10 years and he’s still my best friend. It takes two ladies and gentlemen. Neither black women, nor black men are without guilt here.
Samantha
April 14th, 2010
8:32 pm
OMG I am SO sick of hearing about this!! Black women are not the only women who are single!! 51% of ALL American women are single and only 42.4% of black women are single! Why aren’t people talking about white or Hispanic or Asian women who are single? Honestly I’m tired of hearing about this! I’m tired of the pity party and men saying BW need to lower their expectations and all that other crap. And Steve Harvey are you joking? He’s not a relationship expert, why does he keep interjecting himself in these issues? I just want this to stop. Honestly.
Mary
April 18th, 2010
7:52 pm
Enter your comments here
Um, why are we discussing this on this forum? This guy doesn’t care about us,this is just entertainment and a chance for him and other non-blacks to tsk,tsk and say how pitiful we are.
Nightline Face-Off | Misadventures in Atlanta
April 21st, 2010
8:02 am
[...] truly was there to witness it all! That’s right, people, the relationship revolution will be televised…tonight on [...]
daisy jackson
April 22nd, 2010
6:58 pm
When you have known love, you know you don’t fall into it. you search for it, hoping to find it because you are familiar with its essence, its strength, its hold. You understand it, you want it and you expect it. And Yes-you crave it. Why because it’s a part of you that you want to share with another. No-to fall is to hurt, stumble on something by mistake, or error. If you have known love-it doesn’t hurt, it appreciates the company of another.
Self Love wants love and recognizes it when it approaches. So the next time you meet someone and you ask who are you and that person commences to tell you I have a MBA, I drive a BMW, I owe my own house and… raise your hand stop him or her and ask again, say I didn’t ask what you do, what you drive, where you live or how far you went in school, I asked who are you? If the person can’t answer he/she is not ready for marriage. RUN!!