accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

‘Nightline’ coming to Atlanta April 9 for live debate about why successful black women can’t get a man

steve_harvey3

ABC’s “Nightline’ is taping an episode April 9 in Decatur about how tough it is for college-educated black women to find good black men.

Radio host and best-selling relationships author Steve Harvey will moderate with Vicki Mabrey, a “Nightline” correspondent. Mabrey said Atlanta was picked specifically because of the high number of professional black women in the city.

“A lot of women have satisfying, fulfilling jobs,” Mabrey said. “They have family, church and close friends. Women are not held down in the kitchen anymore. But they still want a man. As Billy Dee Williams said, ‘Success is nothing without anyone to share it with.’ That’s been the mantra to deal with.”

The network is seeking 600 people to populate the crowd from 7 to 9 p.m. It’s free, first come first serve. Mabrey said in an interview earlier this week that she expects the audience to be heavily packed with women. She’s hoping enough guys can come in to present their viewpoints.

hillharper-3

The panel includes two single men: actor and perpetual bachelor Hill Harper (”CSI: NY, right) and Jimi Izrael, NPR contributor and author of “The Denzel Principle” who has been married twice and divorced twice and seems to be a bit peeved at black women. They are joined by Sherri Shepherd from “The View,” a divorcee who has discussed this subject many times on the show, and Clark Atlanta grad and journalist Jacque Reid, last seen on VH1’s “Let’s Talk about Pep.”

The show is scheduled to air at 11:35 p.m. on Wednesday, April 21, presuming breaking news does not postpone it. The full two-hour forum will be available online here the same day it airs.

“Nightline” will pose questions such: Are black women’s expectations too high? Who’s to blame: black women or black men? Is it just bad demographics, with twice as many college-educated black women than black men? Should black women date outside their race?

Mabrey said the forum came about after such a strong reaction from a piece “Nightline” aired last December (focused on Atlanta.) Check that story out here:

The event is at Porter Sanford Performing Arts Center in Decatur, Georgia. The “Face-Off” is an occasional “Nightline” series launched two years ago in which hot topics are debated among prominent voices in their field. The first “Face-Off” topic was “Are we programmed to cheat?”

Where: Porter Sanford Performing Arts Center
3181 Rainbow Drive
Decatur, GA

On TV
“Nightline,” 11:35 p.m. on weekdays on ABC

Join my Facebook fan page and Twitter.

173 comments Add your comment

Grace

April 8th, 2010
11:05 pm

Mr. Riley

April 8th, 2010
11:34 pm

comin in a close second,….what does having a job have to do with not being able to find a mate?..

SMH

April 9th, 2010
12:29 am

“Mabrey said in an interview earlier this week that she expects the audience to be heavily packed with female women.”

Is there any other kind of woman?

cj

April 9th, 2010
12:31 am

First of all, He that finds a wife finds a good thing.
Women are not designed by God to find a man. Trust God and live according to God’s word and a Man will find you(A man that loves God). After that everything will come into place.
A good man is not interested in you just being successful. He is interested in your humility, meekness, personality, looks, and your First Love – God.

I am happily married and I use to think that way prior to marriage. I had unsuccesful relationships. You know what I got tired of it. I just gave it to God. I told God I give this to you and send me the right husband for me. I trusted God with my whole. Well God did hook me up real good. and I am still happily married and my husband and I pray together to keep our marriage renewed.
God Bless You

Sean

April 9th, 2010
1:07 am

education and employment have nothing to do with not being able to find a man… most of these women are just bad girlfriends… if you are a good girl friend to a man then your employment status does not matter

Atl Resident

April 9th, 2010
1:27 am

Coming from a good man point of view, maybe these women should evaluate themselves throughly first before saying they can’t find a good man and that could just be the reason why.

Morehouse Grad

April 9th, 2010
2:21 am

The type of women described in the article are generally too busy for a man. That is only my personal experience. YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).

Living Well DCH

April 9th, 2010
3:04 am

So many Black women misinterpret that Scripture. That is NOT what that Scripture means. All this will soon be discussed in full in ‘Living Well, Despite Catching H***.’ Check it out. Signed, Successful Black Female, Married.

Voice of Reason #1

April 9th, 2010
3:58 am

Just looking at the panelists/Harvey–comedians, etc.,–it looks like it will be nothing but a bunch of buffoonery. I’ll pass. I have a date with my fiance’ anyway.

Thankful

April 9th, 2010
5:31 am

Could it be that these women may not have achieved such career success if they had to focus on the work it takes to make a successful marriage? Perhaps this season of singleness is just the time for women to build their careers and invest their energy in doing God’s work. Think outside the box.

Coach

April 9th, 2010
5:51 am

I support all of the advances that our well educated and employed sisters have made but we must look at this topic more objectively because there is truly a disconnect. I think there is enough blame to go around and unless we move beyond blaming each other this situation will only get worst.

While most educated and employed sisters bring more to the table that should enhance a relationship it has caused a shift in the dynamics of an establish or long held mindset in most men. This is a new norm in our community that we did not prepare for, therefore, most of us (men and women) operate out of assumptions and personal perceptions.

Lets face it, there is no way that one part of a system can change without there being a shift in the whole system. Therefore, the new roles in our relationships and the lack of young educated employed sisters finding suitable mates should not come as a surprise. From both sides of the fence (men and women) we most make some hard decisions about whats more important in life and in relationships. I think its time for all of us to be more realistic in our approach to relationships with destroying the independence of our sisters and the self-esteem of the brothers.

Coach

April 9th, 2010
5:54 am

established
without

Dre

April 9th, 2010
5:58 am

I agree a woman’s job or career has nothing to do with getting a man. I’ve noticed alot of black woman have too many superficial standards. A man has to be…..this tall….drive this type of car…..have this type of job…..has to have this type of build. Maybe if they’ll stop trying to live life like they’re in a Zane novel they’ll find a man…..or better yet a man will find them. Its plenty of good, hard working single black men out here unfortunately most of these women wouldn’t know one from a hole in the wall.

TJ

April 9th, 2010
6:52 am

I believe the reason it is hard for successful black women to get a man is because a lot of times they come off as being arrogant and superficial. Not only that, but we have come from mothers who have taught us that we need to take care of ourselves and our responsibilities. So, since we don’t need a man to support us financially, men feel that we are trying to assume their role. It would seem that men would be happy to have a woman who wants to be with him because of who he is rather than a woman who is with him because she needs someone to support them.

Tony

April 9th, 2010
6:55 am

I would have to agree with my sisters on this one, if you are successful what is wrong with finding a man who is at least equal in what you have accomplished. You have a degree and a good paying job. Why is wanting someone who is at least close to that wrong. I have a sister, friends and a daughter who have all achieved a level of success and finding a good brother is a struggle at best. I don’t even have any male friends who I know in could introduce them to. The real problem for these women if we want to get real is the brothers who are educated, with great salaries are not interested in settling down. They have it going on and they know it, they know they are a rare bred in Atlanta and finding a woman for them is like taking candy from a baby. They don’t feel the need to involve themselves with a woman who is their equal on any level. They don’t want to even deal with this type of woman, why should they when they know they can have pretty much what they want until they get tired then you may what they are looking for. I have been married for 26 years and love my wife more each day. However when I see and talk to some of our brothers today about relationships I am embarrassed and ashamed of how many of our black men, are failing our sisters. I don’t mean all some are doing their thing. However between jail, gay, the players, drug dealers, women abusers and the punks who hit women. A black woman has a better chance of hitting cash three every Friday than finding a good man in Atlanta….I could be wrong I was wrong one other time. You can email me if you want, if you have agree or disagree. I don’t check this forum often…thall46@hotmail.com

notaracist

April 9th, 2010
7:21 am

A friend once ask me.”what do you see in your husband”? My answer to her was, “if I told you that, you might see it too. She was suggesting that my husband was not attractive. The point is he looks good to me. To me, he is all of that, and I let him know, he is all of that. We have two teenaged children and for the most part have had a good marriage. Lastly, he is the one that is educated and holds the job. I am a happy housewife. I think for a lot of women, they are more concerned about what others would think, rather than truly allowing happiness for themselves.

TMac

April 9th, 2010
7:33 am

Women of every skin tone face this problem, not just black women. A lot of men that aren’t happy and confident in their career choices feel threatened by a woman that is happy and confident in their career. Some women are like that, too, but it’s an outdated part of our society that men feel like they should be the breadwinner and women should arrange their lives around that.

I was fortunate enough to find a fantastic partner, but it didn’t happen until I was 30 and across the country from where I had lived, and it was after a failed first marriage that had a lot to do with my ex-husband being miserable in his own job and jealous because I was happy and successful in mine.

How many of the respondents to this column are indicating that it’s the women’s fault because they don’t want to put in the time to be good girlfriends or good wives? It’s much harder to find men that are willing to put in the time and effort to be good boyfriends and husbands. Women don’t expect career-driven men to give up their careers in order to meekly follow them around, and men shouldn’t either. Every good marriage is different depending on the people involved, but at it’s heart, each one is a partnership, and they take work and compromises and give and take from both partners.

Scott

April 9th, 2010
7:39 am

People please be careful who you get advice from. Based on his own past, Steve Harvey is NOT someone who should be considered a relationships “expert”. This is also the same guy who promotes himself as being so Christian, but says it’s okay for unmarried women to sleep with a man as long as she makes him wait 90 days for “the cookie” as he calls it. I wonder what God has to say about that?

DBH

April 9th, 2010
8:05 am

The notion that a woman’s stature or level of success in life is somehow supposed to translate to relationship success is entirely misplaced. The fact that this type of “debate” is being held in the first place should be evidence enough that the “issue”, apparently, has less to do with the “outside” of the woman (i.e. job, material possessions, etc.) but, perhaps, what’s on the inside of the person. Just because a woman is “successful” in life, doesn’t necessarily mean she’d make a good partner in a relationship or marriage.

A woman’s success (or lack thereof) has no bearing whatsoever on the kind of person she is on the inside and, in the end, it’s who we are in our heart that truly matters, not what our business card says.

hotlanta

April 9th, 2010
8:08 am

Why is Steve called a professional when he has 3 wives and 7 kids. Did he wait 90 days before he married his 3rd wife. From that photo that is circling the internet he looks as if he jumped into a vat of shea butter. He should have teken his own advice that he is trying to tell other women. He should have kept his shirt on. Leave us single women alone because at tthe moment married life isn’t so good. Thank you Jesse, Tiger and Tikki.

Reality Bites

April 9th, 2010
8:09 am

Ladies……..its easy, believe me. IMO you have two choices, an unemplyed thug inna wife beater t-shirt and tattos, or a successful law abiding tax paying mamaber of the community. Ya wanna do it right, just go white. :-)

Lwilliams

April 9th, 2010
8:09 am

Married, black female here. Black women can’t find a man because they believe this myth. Stop looking for the next BMW (Black Man Working). Learn to love the Lord first. Black women worship their education and career success. They are often willing to accept an affair or a part-time man just to say they have a man. They want a partner, not a husband. Remember a marriage is a merger of two lives, not a partnership based on percentages! The single women I know are looking for a television man (a fairy tale). They want the world and the surrounding atmosphere. When they get a man, they talk about him, degrade him and complain about what he does not do (but they don’t let him go). I wouldn’t marry you either! If you have nothing good to say while dating, what will you say when you get married? Marry your career, and your success! They are the positive things that you talk about! There are some good, black men out there. I did not get the last one!

Rea

April 9th, 2010
8:12 am

I usually just skim over the comments after articles on AJC.com but today I needed to make my own comment. Coach is so right. We have to stop blaming each other and come to some kind of consensus so we can move passed our issues into healthy successful relationships. There is enough blame on both sides. We should hold these forums so males and females can listen to the other’s point of view. This can be useful and encouraging.

While I appreciate the Christian point of view (I am a Christian and love the Lord!) there are times that we need to do more than just ‘wait on the Lord’. As I heard during Bible Study one Wednesday evening ‘we need to pray as if it all depends on God and work as if it all depends on us’. In this case by work I mean we (single ladies and men)should take this time to work on ourselves—spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Attend events and go places that you enjoy. Keep your options open and stop focusing on ‘your type’. Your type has you home on Saturday nights.

I think the forum is a good idea. At least someone is making an effort to bring this group of people together for a conversation. What will we take away from it?

reign

April 9th, 2010
8:13 am

Wow, Tony, you hit the nail on the head. A lot of people (men and women) aren’t honest about this thing and a lot are coming from a perspective of “I got mine, why can’t you get yours” or from anger and frustration…but this thing is real and for a lot of reasons. And yes, if I’ve worked hard to educate myself and I make a decent salary, why is it wrong to want someone equally yolked (financially, spiritually, emotionally, etc.). Whenever you go to churches, seminars, workshops, or any event that’s progressive minded, all you see are women! So, there you go, not enough of our men are equal because they don’t take the necessary actions to better themselves. Not all, definitely not all.

And there are a multitude of reasons why men aren’t equally yolked. There’s definitely a conspiracy against them, but it’s 2010, we can work that out. I’ve been with men who had mad skills and I tried VERY hard to work with them to achieve businesses and to support their efforts, but they don’t always understand the value, power and effectiveness of a relationship. They’re busy chasing booty or doing drugs or being angry or some other nonsense.

I don’t think our men understand the power and effectiveness of relationships and I don’t think any of us know how to choose our mates appropriately. We need to work on self first which a lot women do through continued education.

Instead of us pointing the finger at each other and blaming, and having these types of events where that’s exactly what happens, why not focus on educating men and women on how to partner, the importance of being together, the power and effectiveness of a relationship. What’s the value in a man constantly chasing women, trying to hit every woman he can, what is that about? Where does that come from, is it a residual from slavery when our families were torn apart and men were used to breed? I mean really, what’s up with that. And bragging about the number of women you’ve been with, what is that? And then you having nothing to offer your children, you leave no legacy and every generation has to start from scratch because we can’t be together to build something.

Come on people, we gotta stop the madness. It’s getting us nowhere. I would absolutely LOVE to be with a Black man because I understand and appreciate the power of US, but I’m no longer holding out for one, I’ll date outside my race in a heartbeat, but that’s not what I really want because I LOVE Black love…there’s nothing like it…

DBH

April 9th, 2010
8:14 am

@LWillians: Your comment at 8:09 nailed it!!!! Especially when you said, “Black women worship their education and career success.” That was pure, unadulterated T-R-U-T-H!

Corey

April 9th, 2010
8:20 am

How can blacks in general recognize a “good man” when over 70% of blacks households are headed by single females?

itamazesme

April 9th, 2010
8:29 am

@Rea – EXCELLENT and so true!!!! I too am single yet I have met a wonderful good man. THEY ARE OUT THERE. Only after I looked inside myself – and got me together and learned that only I can make myself happy and all that a man can do is add to it – then was I ready to be in a relationship. My friends laughed at me when I dated myself for a year. I focused on me and what I needed to do to make me a better person. I also found out that I didn’t see the good man standing in front of me because I was too busy looking over his shoulder for one. I like Scott am hesistant to take advice from Mr. Harvey (with all due respect). I read his book some things I agreed with – some I didn’t but he didn’t telling a woman anything more than she should already know.

itamazesme

April 9th, 2010
8:30 am

my apologies that should be he didn’t tell a woman….

MiltonMan

April 9th, 2010
8:32 am

Quite alot of racism here. What is the problem with Black women dating white men??? Black men do not have issues with dating white women. I believe that many black women here in Atlanta are closet racists and would not be caught dead with a white men for fear of what their freinds would say.

Funny to see the women in the clip talk about their white friends but I did not see any white women at the table.

DBH

April 9th, 2010
8:36 am

@itamazesme: “I also found out that I didn’t see the good man standing in front of me because I was too busy looking over his shoulder for one.”

As a black man, I appreciate the honesty of your comment. :-)

romeo

April 9th, 2010
8:36 am

The problem is not that there are not enough black men to go around the real problem is black womwn and black men don’t get along that well in big citys. I use to live in Atlanta and I have dated many of the so called successful black women and I would not marry one of them to save my life don’t get me wrong I love women and there is nothing more atractive to me than a black woman but what they say they want and what they really want are two different things. They say that money is the number one problem between couples so lets start there. I am in a business where I meet couples of all races everyday and I see how they handle their money . Black couples do not do well with there money men or women . If one of the couples credit is messed up the other ones is too 90% of the time. Looking at the incomes of these couples if the woman makes more that the man again 90% of the womwn are not happy how do I know because a lot of them try to get with me. I know a lot of you don’t know me but I was very tempted to put my real name on here because I am sick and tired of hearing black woman this and black women that. The second thing is black women really don’t believe in black men there is to much bad history between the two going back to slavery up to today when young black girls listen to therir mothers tell them to marry a white man or marry someone who has more than you. I can’t tell you how many times I have dated a black womay and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is I am going to start dating white men . News flash you already are in your head so there is no room for a black man. Most black women have this idea of what type of man they want he has to be this tall this complection I don’t want to skip over this complection thing but it is real and it is a big problem in the black community he has to make this much money and he can’t have any kids and he has to have a college degree and so on . Did I say that black women cheat all women do I know this but ask married black women are you on Face Book or Black Planet or some other social site and most of them willtell you yes but it is for business now what man want’s his wife or woman on any of these sites and ladies if your man does not mind you being on these sites you have a real problem. I have a black woman but I had to move out of Atlanta to keep her because of all the BS that black people play that’s right play that’s what black people love to do. I am sorry about the spelling but I am late for work got to keep my JOB. By the way my woman is a high school princpal and I make more than her so what I had a woman who made more tham99% of the people who will read this and I was treated like crap and felt like I was in hell. So ladies be careful of what you wish for.

hotlanta

April 9th, 2010
8:39 am

Where is the forum to ask MARRIED men are their pants on the ground? Since when did being female/black/single was a problem so widespread that we needed to have a forum about it. It’s a good thing. I would also love to see a forum to find out why white women date married men and then expect for them to apologize.

itamazesme

April 9th, 2010
8:46 am

I have dated outside my race – this is a topic on the black man – so hence the relevancy of only speaking about the black man.

have a great day!!

Rancid Meat

April 9th, 2010
8:48 am

A lot of these good black men are chasing white women. Why is that???

powven

April 9th, 2010
8:48 am

Not all black males are “thugs”, “womanizers” “bad guys”, but for some reason the real version of the black male rarely makes the spotlight.

I sometimes do agree that some black women can be superficial, because I know many educated black women, who have these super high standards and refuse to compromise. There is nothing wrong with trying to find someone that is equal or fairly close, but please also recognize that finding every single detail in your description for the perfect man in one man leaves you with slim pickings. I met my wife in college and we grew together. She makes a little more than I do, but she never throws it in my face. I am still the provider of my household and she is still my back up, and we run as a family is intended to run.

P.S – White men are not Perfect! You don’t have to go that route sisters.

MiltonMan

April 9th, 2010
8:52 am

P.S – White men are not Perfect! You don’t have to go that route sisters.

Who said white men are perfect? Your statement is nothing more than racism at best.

MiltonMan

April 9th, 2010
8:54 am

BTW: Getting relationship advice from Steve Harvey is like getting health information from a chain smoker.

HDB

April 9th, 2010
8:55 am

Women have to quit THINKING STUPID and ACTING STUPID in order to get a man!!

ACTING STUPID: Have you ever gone to a football game at the Dome and seen a woman wearing high heels and stockings?? C’MON….as a man, I’m waiting for a woman to fall down the steps!! If a woman can wear jeans, a football jersey, a baseball cap….and KNOW the GAME….I’ll be first in line to find out more about HER!!

THINKING STUPID: Why have 200 pair of shoes in the closet when you only have two feet?? Women don’t dress to impress men…they dress to intimidate OTHER women!!

The greatest sex organ is between your EARS; attract a man’s MIND…you’ll make him desire you MORE!! Attract a man’s body…he’ll leave you in the wind for the body is simplicity!!

itamazesme

April 9th, 2010
8:57 am

@DBH – It was the truth. He was a friend for 4 years, and because he wasn’t “my type” I never looked at him as more than that. notaracist had it right, I was shallow and because my friends were so used to seeing me date a certain type of man – I didn’t want to take our friendship to another level. I am so thankful that I realized it was about me and what made me happy – because I would’ve missed out on the man who is my best friend and my soul mate. I have friends now asking me does he have any brothers or cousins, etc.

cclovegod

April 9th, 2010
8:59 am

I am a saved, single 48 yr old, with an empty nest, ready for marriage, plenty of good sex, romance & intellectual stimulation. I refuse to date outisde my race! I love how God made the Black male, everything about him! I beleive God & his word that says:

Delight yourself in the Lord & he WILL give you the DESIRES of your heart. Amen!

cookie19

April 9th, 2010
9:04 am

I believe we all have to learn how to transition from career woman/man to girlfriend/boyfriend. There are so many different hats we wear nowadays, we don’t figure out who we should be until the relationship is over. Learn how to be alone but leave space to learn how to be with another person too. Maybe taking some ego out of the equation will help. Cj said it best. Let the good man find you. Whenever we do the looking, we end up disappointed. But the bible also says there is nothing wrong with being single;just don’t become obsessed about it.

DBH

April 9th, 2010
9:07 am

@itamazesme: I’m glad to see that the Lord opened your eyes before it was too late. The humility of your comments is very hard to come upon these days, and I truly wish you and your husband the best. When you have time, check out my Web site: http://www.blackthen.com. It’s a faith-based site focused primarily on strengthening black marriages and families.

atlkevin

April 9th, 2010
9:09 am

One of the questions they hope to address is, “Should black women date outside their race?”

Can you imagine the furor, outrage, and protests if someone substituted “black” for “white”?

Why on Earth has this double standard been allowed to develop?

hotlanta

April 9th, 2010
9:10 am

The solution is not to be with a WHITE man but with the RIGHT man. I have seen enough Dateline and 20/20 to see how white men cheat and kill their wives to know I don’t want them. Why are folks acting like the only other race who wants a black woman is the white men. White men have been dating/marrying us for years that is nothing new Men all over the world loves us. Catch a plane and find out for yourself.

Drexter

April 9th, 2010
9:11 am

This is the same old tired stereotype labeling of our black women and black men. I can’t find a man, all the good men are in jail, gay or married – if I hear the shyt one more time I am going to explode. If they were good men, the y would not be gay or in jail c’mon., albeit, the justice system is designed to keep the Black-Man down with a lot of innocent brothas being incarcerated for petty crimes or crimes they did not comment.

How about having a forum for black men. I am a single black man, I am educated (completing my Doctorate), I own a home, I own my vehicle, I make good money, I am GOD-Fearing and I am drama-free. However, I don’t walk around with those things written on my back. So, you have to get to know me for me. I would never date outside my race, I love the Black-Women too much for that, nor would I encourage a Black-Women to date outside her race…I believe the Black-Women are the mothers of the Earth and with that comes a huge responsibility, and that is the hold up the Black-Man, with all of our faults – good, bad or indifferent. Another thing, I am tired of the Black-Women being the target of media and over-rated hype that is coming out of the mouths of our black entertainers, that perpetuate the myths and stereotype that white American put out. Wake up my Brothers and Sisters…….Love GOD and self first.

Peaches

April 9th, 2010
9:12 am

@ HDB you have a point but more that likely the 4 inch fell wearing woman will get the play. I recall many years ago I want to my first game at the dome and I was like OMG heels at the game.. I love sports but I am not ..better yet I AIN”T WEARING NO HEELS to a football or basketball game. I feel I am smarter than the average bear but still no mate. Well I guess when the time is right he will find me.

My question: Do men really want a woman with a brain.?

thatgirl66

April 9th, 2010
9:13 am

I saw the Nightline episode when it first aired, and I thought some of the women were superficial. I also believe that statistically women just outnumber men, especially in Atlanta.

I think part of the problem of the disconnect between black men and women, is that some didn’t have good role models of a husband or wife. I have been told by more than one man that my standards were too high and I have everything and didn’t need anything. These are some of my standards: belief in God/degree of spirituality, steadily employed, responsible fiscally, respectful, clean, disease/drug free, sense of humor, etc. My list never included what kind of car he drove, how much money he made, what kind of house he lived in, etc. Oh yeah, the other line is that I put my career first. I was definitely not planning on starting a family at 15 to 18 years of age. It wouldn’t make any sense to start one until I was able to take care of myself first, so yeah I did put obtaining sustainable income before starting a family. Didn’t mean I couldn’t date.

My father and I have these discussions about the plight of black relationships and he believes that the men of today are not family oriented. I believe him. He recently turned 70 years old. My parents were together until my mom passed away years ago. I thought I would be like her: married with 3 kids. I’m 43 now, no kids, and single. Yes, I prayed for a husband and kept the faith for a long time. If I knew that long term relationships that lead to marriage would be this much of a challenge, I probably would have done things differently like move to another part of the country where the odds were better, inter-racial dating, been more aggressive, prayed harder.

MiltonMan

April 9th, 2010
9:16 am

cclovegod:

“I refuse to date outisde my race! I love how God made the Black male, everything about him!”

Yes, love God but hate the white man. Not only are you racist but a hypocrite. Do you believe that God cares about the color of anyones skin? I am starting to wonder what in hades is being taught to you all on here who go to church, love God, etc. but refuse to date out of your race. I must read out of a totally different Bible than you do.

DBH

April 9th, 2010
9:18 am

@atlkevin: “Why on earth has this double-standard been allowed to develop?”

“Allowed” is right, and that’s exactly what’s happened. We’ve allowed it to develop because of our own narrow-mindedness in thinking that only those of us who look alike on the outside should be paired together. We’ve totally discounted something I mentioned before in an earlier post – the heart of the person. What does it matter what race a person is when that person – man or woman – doesn’t treat you right? In such instances it doesn’t matter much whether the person is black, white or plaid. To me, the issue of race is totally irrelevant. A man or woman should pair themselves with the person whom God has ordained them to be with, and who is committed to treating with the respect due them as one of God’s creations – regardless of their race.