Kim sings! Kim falls! Kim whines! Kim cries!
Yes, this episode became a Kim Zolciak spectacle. Surely, she wouldn’t consider this one a “snoozefest.”
She hooks up with R&B producer extraordinaire Kandi Burruss, who has turned “Tardy for the Party,” some lame country tune into a hot dance/pop tune. Kandi also made it so Kim only has to sing three notes.
But when Kim arrives at Kandi’s home to record the song, she freaks out. She acts as if she’s about to go skydiving or drive a stock car for the first time at 180 miles an hour. She compares her fear of singing to giving birth. “I’m not wanting to sing,” she tells Kandi.
Um… so why is she doing this? Kandi is a class act, coaxing nervous Kim into the studio and gets her to sing. Kandi then autotunes Kim so she sounds as good as Britney.
Kim (and everyone else) was impressed with Kandi’s re-do of the song. “This superseded my expectations a million percent,” Kim said.
Kim’s singing ambitions are modest: “I want to be a one-hit wonder.” Yes, the next Chumbawumba! Right here!
Kim starts crying when she hears the first mix iwth her voice. She’s so happy she overcame her fears, she said she no longer wants to share the spotlight with NeNe. (The original plan was for them to do a duet.) This seeds a potential conflict at a future episode because NeNe does not know she’s about to be blocked out.
Later, Derek Blanks, the photographer, hosts a party to reveal the “alter ego” photos he shot of the housewives in last week’s episode. All seems great until the strap on Kim’s presumably pricey shoes breaks while she’s on some steps. Kim slips and scrapes up her lower legs and twists her ankle. “My ankle is throbbing,” she wails. “I could cry. My right ankle is in bad bad shape.”
Dwight Eubanks and Gregg Leakes come over and help her into a car, where she gets treated.
“They’re babying her,” NeNe said, with an eye roll.
The photos are revealed. Everybody likes their photos. Kim sees her but then leaves.
“Kim always finds a way to not be part of the group,” Lisa said cattily. “She sees her reveal and breezes out of there. If you don’t like us, don’t be around us.” (Tell that to the producers!)
“I have the body of a hot 25 year old and Cliff helps me keep it that way,” Sheree said about her trainer.
“The dress is still fabulous,” Dwight, after Kim falls and messes up her ankle and scrapes up her legs.
“I cannot be attached to wackness,” Kandi said, about bad music before working with Kim.
Previews show Kim getting back with Big Poppa. “I’m not ashamed about dating a married man,” Kim said.