‘If I were mayor, I would clear trash from parks by handing out flyers’

On Wednesday, the Georgia Municipal Association will announce the winner of its annual “If I Were Mayor…” essay contest. More than 6,200 were submitted from sixth-graders across the state.

For the unschooled, that means the authors are 11 and 12 years old. A winner is to be named at a luncheon at Turner Field.

Below, we offer a few anonymous outtakes provided by GMA. You will note that, some of the ideas – but only the best ones — are plagiarized from the early days of the 2012 Republican presidential primary campaign:

– ”If I were mayor I would create another town council to contradict and debate with the older council to ensure proper actions are taken for the necessary reasons as far as crime and other town matters.”

– “Jerry Springer was a famous mayor and even Abe Lincoln started on a local level. If I was mayor of our town I would want to make a good impression, like them, + leave behind something better.”

– “Also, a good town always has good franchises. When I walk around, all I see if McDonands, Burger King, Taco Bell, and Dairy Queen. Come on people. Shake the options up. What about tcby’s, Five Guys, Pandabear Express, Smoothie King?”

— “My first goal is to clear the trash from all of the parks and roads. I would do that by handing out flyers.”

– “If I were mayor, the first thing I would do make myself mayor forever.”

– “If I were mayor I would do beautification of the buildings for the older people like thirty on up.”

– “When you come to Georgia the signs say, ‘Georgia is Peachy Clean,’ but it really is not at all.”

– “I would help the economy get better by having a four-day weekend. Most people shop on the weekend so if there is more shopping there is more money. And money deals with the economy.”

– “Instead of having big lazy people in my community I would want healthy thinner people.”

– “I wouldn’t force anyone to do anything they didn’t want to. That would be cruel and not good manners.”

– “Having a holiday for Justin Bieber’s birthday would be awesome! Everybody would be out of school and work for a whole week. Then there would be a huge party at the Bistro for him. I would even bring my standup cut out of Justin. I’m his number one fan!”

– “If I were mayor, I would make sure no one had to wear a uniform to school. Come on, we are just kids. If our shirts are tucked in, then we cannot concentrate on our work as well as we could if they weren’t tucked in.”

– “If we stop the sale or production of guns, knifes it will probably reduce crime unless they use a blunt object.”

– “I would make it where we don’t have to go to school on Monday. Mondays are horrible and I think that we shouldn’t have to spend our time at school on Mondays.”

– “I hate road construction and in my current city, there is a ton of road construction. I would have no road construction in my city until my time serving the city would be over.”

– “Last I would not just try to change and take care of just our city, but other cities around me.”

– “I would do lots of fun things like every Monday is I Hate Monday Day. Or every March seventh is Andy is Awesome Day (because that is my birthday).”

– “For example, if say Sally never gets an opportunity to learn in the arts department she may never know what a mime is, and the day she does find and or meets one Sally is gong to freak out like, ‘OMG why isn’t he talking to me!!!!!’”

– “If I were mayor I would turn this city into a gaming paradise.”

– “If I was mayor I would first lower the taxes. Then the parents will have way more money to spend on us kids.”

– “We have to make sure there are cameras on every street but don’t tell anybody on the street.”

– “If I were mayor I would dress in business attire with my hair up but at the same time still look stylish.”

– “I’m not like your regular conceited mayors.”

– “Mayors can’t make school lunches better. So that means us kids are stuck with yucky, gooey lunches.”

– “I could sit around here and brag about things I could do but that would be off topic.”

– “If I were mayor I would make a dog park with new equipment like a machine that can dye the color of a dog like if you had a dog that’s white w/black pokerdots[cq] you can change him yellow w/purple pokerdots. It works for cats too.”

Get ready. Some of these kids will be sworn in by 2025.

- By Jim Galloway, Political Insider

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12 comments Add your comment

Centrist

April 24th, 2012
4:34 pm

Mr. Jim Galloway took his usual shot at the right with this: “You will note that, some of the ideas – but only the best ones — are plagiarized from the early days of the 2012 Republican presidential primary campaign.”

But I sure noticed some obvious Democrat slogans in there, too.

DannyX

April 24th, 2012
4:50 pm

I liked the one from “Centrist,”

“If I were mayor I’d still find time to whine and cry on the Political Insider blog every single day.”

I liked this one too,

““Having a holiday for Ronald Reagan’s birthday would be awesome! Everybody would be out of school and work for a whole week. Then there would be a huge party at the Elks Lodge for him. I would even bring my standup cut out of Ronnie. I’m his number one fan!”

Marlboro Man

April 24th, 2012
4:55 pm

Kids don’t fall far from the tree.

Look before I leap...

April 24th, 2012
5:21 pm

Three most Republican entries:
“Last I would not just try to change and take care of just our city, but other cities around me.”
“If I was mayor I would first lower the taxes. Then the parents will have way more money to spend on us kids.”
“I would help the economy get better by having a four-day weekend. Most people shop on the weekend so if there is more shopping there is more money. And money deals with the economy.”

Three most Democratic entries:
“If we stop the sale or production of guns, knifes it will probably reduce crime unless they use a blunt object.”
“My first goal is to clear the trash from all of the parks and roads. I would do that by handing out flyers.”
”If I were mayor I would create another town council to contradict and debate with the older council to ensure proper actions are taken for the necessary reasons as far as crime and other town matters.” (Toss up with the one about school uniforms.)

Look before I leap...

April 24th, 2012
5:27 pm

Closest to the truth (bi-partisan):
“Jerry Springer was a famous mayor and even Abe Lincoln started on a local level. If I was mayor of our town I would want to make a good impression, like them, + leave behind something better.”

One to watch out for:
“If I were mayor, the first thing I would do make myself mayor forever.”

One we’ve actually seen:
“If I were mayor I would dress in business attire with my hair up but at the same time still look stylish.”

td

April 24th, 2012
5:56 pm

Democrat:

“If I were mayor, the first thing I would do make myself mayor forever.”

Republican:

“Also, a good town always has good franchises. When I walk around, all I see if McDonands, Burger King, Taco Bell, and Dairy Queen. Come on people. Shake the options up. What about tcby’s, Five Guys, Pandabear Express, Smoothie King?”

Centrist

April 24th, 2012
6:05 pm

Have heard these from the respective sides: “Hope and change”, “A better America begins”

DannyX

April 24th, 2012
6:18 pm

“When I walk around, all I see if McDonands, Burger King, Taco Bell, and Dairy Queen.”

That kid is definitely from the boring Republican suburbs, home of the McDonalds, Walgreens, Wendy’s, Pizza Hut, CVS, KFC, Taco Bell, Rite Aid, Burger King rotation.

DannyX

April 24th, 2012
6:21 pm

“Last I would not just try to change and take care of just our city, but other cities around me.”

That kid is definitely from out of state.

Look before I leap...

April 24th, 2012
7:28 pm

DannyX

April 24th, 2012
6:21 pm

“Last I would not just try to change and take care of just our city, but other cities around me.”

That kid is definitely from out of state.

Hardly – the very impetus for the original ban on Sunday sales of booze.

From The Mouth of Babes

April 25th, 2012
10:32 am

To the mouths of idiots. So it is above, so it is below.

catlady

April 25th, 2012
12:39 pm

My son, at age 6, read at 5th grade level. However, he was just six, and thought like a six year old. His first grade teacher gave him a study sheet on Leaders for World Peace including Ghandi and Dag Hamerskold. At the end were quesstions which were easy for him. Then, one that showed his youthfulness: As a citizen of the world, what would you do to promote world peace? My precious son wrote, “I’d fight for it!” This story reminds me of that.