Archive for the ‘Yvonne Zusel’ Category

Cage match: The outdoors vs. the treadmill


Cmon people, get off the treadmills and join me outside!

So remember last night when it was Southeastern Armageddon 2011? Yknow, telephone poles dropping on cars, houses being demolished. Very scary and sad stuff. And, in the interest of playing Master of the Obvious, clearly not a good night for a run. It’s only nights like this that can make me attempt to face down my most formidable foe — The Dreaded Treadmill (or the Dreadmill, if you like being efficient with your words).

It’s been about a year since the treadmill and I last crossed paths. It was a stormy evening, much like last night, and, inspired by Ron Burgundy, I was craving a nice yog. I sized up the treadmill at my work gym. I had a brief flashback of the last time I tried hoofing it on a t-mill, and how after the first mile, out of boredom, I was tempted to put the speed up so high I’d fly off the back. “Oh come Yvonne,” I thought to myself, “Surely you’re being melodramatic. Surely you’re …

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A group run run run

That's me, fourth from the left, at the Sweetwater 420 5K I ran with Team Awesome. I need jumping lessons.

That's me, fourth from the left, at the Sweetwater 420 5K I ran with Team Awesome. I need jumping lessons.

I’m not what you would call a motivated runner. I’ll get all ready to go, lace up my shoes, and then — is that a gray cloud in the sky? Is that unfolded laundry from six weeks ago? Oh my God, are they going to show us how to make papier-mache napkin rings on The Today Show? Well, I can’t POSSIBLY be expected to go for a run right now. In a minute, maybe. After that cloud disappears and I fold my laundry and I listen to Matt and Meredith engage in some witty banter.

Flash forward four hours to me still sitting on the couch, wrist-deep in a bag of Funyuns, still in my running gear. Well, if nothing else, my intentions were good. At least I thought about going for a run. And I thought about it whilst in my running gear. So it’s basically the same thing as actually running. Right?

What I really need is a live-in drill sargeant, the kind who don’t take crap from no …

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