Archive for May, 2014

‘News To Me’ moves to higher rent district

Lifestyles of the neither rich nor famous. (Selfie)

Lifestyles of the neither rich nor famous. (Selfie)

Dear reader,

While I was on vacation my blog moved to our new and improved WordPress install.

If you’re looking for a chuckle or interesting news stories, please join me and my immediate family at the new URL — http://newstome.blog.ajc.com/

See you there!

– George

Continue reading ‘News To Me’ moves to higher rent district »

Georgians use Google to learn to make crack

lvspanx0405The South is the butt of a lot of jokes, but it starts making sense when you see what we search for on Google.

Estately, a real estate firm with a lot of spare time on its hands, tried to determine what residents of each state searched for most on the Internet.

Their findings — “What each state Googles more than any other” — are both humorous and shameful.

While Alabamians seek God, your Georgia neighbors are searching for info on butt implants, Spanx, cooking crack (have you spotted the butt theme yet?), divorce, athletes foot, weaves and tofu.

Having found and tasted tofu, I have no idea why people still search for it.

Right next door, Alabamans, when they aren’t searching for God, also search for Jesus, Fox News, impeach Obama, Obama is the Antichrist, Jessica Simpson, Satan and polka.

Like any family reunion, it’s difficult to say who is crazier, but polka probably gives Alabama the win.

Texas, which really should have been allowed to leave the U.S., is curious if …

Continue reading Georgians use Google to learn to make crack »

Dating game contestant admits to killing 2 women

The cynic in me says she can find a date without going on TV. (Image from YouTube video)

The cynic in me says she can find a date without going on TV. (Image from YouTube video)

Like the Clermont Lounge and Craigslist, a game show isn’t the best place to find non-rented love.

This truth was again revealed, this time on Turkish TV, when a 62-year-old dating game contestant admitted to killing his ex-wife and a former girlfriend.

USA Today tells us the alleged killer revealed a bit too much of his complicated history with women while appearing on the TV show “The Luck of The Draw.”

The cynic in me says this is a stunt to get people talking about a show Comcast doesn’t even carry, but let’s proceed as though everything typed is to be believed.

Contestant Sefer Calinak said he married his first wife, who was also his cousin, when she was 17. He is not from Alabama.

He said he killed her after about five months of unhappiness and spent four years in prison.

The second girlfriend/victim died, he allegedly alleged, after she refused to divorce her husband. She was …

Continue reading Dating game contestant admits to killing 2 women »

Woman, 93, killed by police after failing driving test

Taking car keys away from someone who shouldn’t be driving can be dangerous.

In Texas, a 93-year-old woman who failed a driver’s license exam became so upset when her nephew tried to take away her driving privileges she picked up a revolver.

The nephew said the woman, Pearlie Golden, threatened him so he called police in Hearne, Texas, which is located near the middle of the triangle formed by Dallas, Houston and San Antonio.

The arriving officer saw Golden waving a gun around in her yard and asked her to put down her weapon, but eventually he shot at her at least five times. CNN reports she was struck twice. Golden died at a hospital Wednesday night.

Details from the shooting were not released, but neighbors question why police shot the “sweet, sweet woman” known as Miss Sully.

“Even if she did have a gun, she is in her 90s,” Lawanda Cooke told the local TV station. “They could have shot in the air to scare her. Maybe she would have dropped it. I don’t see her shooting …

Continue reading Woman, 93, killed by police after failing driving test »

Woman detained for loud sex on airliner

Symbols of America and virginity go together like screen doors and submarines. (AP photo for unrelated story)

Symbols of America and virginity go together like screen doors and submarines. (AP photo for unrelated story)

What happens in Vegas may or may not stay in Vegas, but you have to make it there first.

A young British traveler headed to Sin City started sinning early by having loud sex with a man she met on the plane, reports The Sun with a “Floozy in the Loozy” headline.

A passenger told The Sun that the woman, who was not named, was seated next to her parents and “started getting heated with the guy next to her,” before heading off to the bathroom with him.

Flight attendants aboard the Virgin Atlantic plane probably thought the airline should be renamed as they forced open the door to make the annoying “cries of passion” stop.

The woman became verbally abusive and was handcuffed to her seat for the remainder of the flight.

I would like to hear what her parents said to her at that point.

The woman, described as being in her 20s, was questioned by police in the U.S. and …

Continue reading Woman detained for loud sex on airliner »

Man wants to marry ‘porn-filled’ Apple laptop

Satire has been used to score political points since the times of Swift and Voltaire, but sometimes it’s just stupid.

In Florida, a man who is against the idea of gay marriage has filed a motion in a federal case saying those who love inanimate objects should get some legal love too.

Chris Sevier, allegedly a former judge advocate general and combat veteran, wants to marry his “porn-filled Apple laptop” according to the motion, says the Broward-Palm Beach New Times.

In the filing, Sevier says love was in the MacBook Air soon after Apple sold him a computer that did not shield him from pornography. “Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women,” said Sevier, who equates sex with love just like movie directors.

My laptop hasn’t shielded me from an endless stream of cat videos, but I’ve yet to fall in love with a cute animal or contact a lawyer.

This disgruntled gentleman seems to like lawsuits, however. He is presumed to be the same Chris Sevier …

Continue reading Man wants to marry ‘porn-filled’ Apple laptop »

Scientists reverse aging process with ‘young blood’

Living forever may not require biting young women on the neck, unfortunately. (Photo by Jon Waterhouse for unrelated story)

Living forever may not require biting attractive women on the neck, unfortunately. (Photo by Jon Waterhouse for unrelated story)

How did Dracula live so long? He drank the blood of people that were centuries younger.

Scientists say the prince of darkness was onto something.

The New York Times headline “Young blood may hold key to reversing aging” tells the story of an experiment that Dr. Frankenstein would have approved.

Scientists took old mice and young mice and surgically stitched pairs of them together. The blood vessels of the young mouse joined with the blood vessels of the old mouse and the two animals began sharing blood.

The old mice became “much livelier” while the young mice showed signs of premature aging. The old mice healed much more quickly and regenerated liver cells. The older mice also formed “a burst of new neurons in the hippocampus, a region of the brain that is crucial for forming memories,” writes the New York Times.

Testing proved the old mice performed …

Continue reading Scientists reverse aging process with ‘young blood’ »

Sex truck provides partiers a mobile love nest

The Hook-Up Truck brainstrust pauses for a selfie. (Image from HookUpTruck.org)

The Hook-Up Truck brainstrust pauses for a selfie. (Image from HookUpTruck.org)

Advances in technology are making many interesting business ideas possible.

But, sometimes you just need to drive a box truck to a party and let people have sex in it.

In California, a capitalist masquerading as an artist is offering to drive the “Hook-Up Truck” to parties, weddings, festivals and anywhere else people want to have sex on wheels.

As one might expect from an artist named Spy Emerson, the truck features cameras and the ability to upload video straight to YouTube.

The air conditioned mobile sex palace also provides birth control and vinyl-covered benches that are “probably cleaner” than a San Francisco subway car, though the artist likely has no idea how germs operate.

Emerson does promise the sex chamber will be wiped down between uses, but she hangs out with people dressed as clowns so I don’t know we can trust her.

“This is a game for adults who want to play with sex,” says Emerson, …

Continue reading Sex truck provides partiers a mobile love nest »

Veterinarian kept dog alive for blood, report says

Dr. Lou Tierce (Photo/Tarrant County Sheriff's Office)

Dr. Lou Tierce (Photo/Tarrant County Sheriff's Office)

Veterinarians may be the most beloved profession on Earth, after astronauts and blog writers.

They tend to our sick pets and every one I’ve met seems to have a big heart.

But, there’s a bad apple in every barrel.

In Texas, a veterinarian is charged with animal cruelty for allegedly keeping a customer’s dog alive solely to use its blood in transfusions, reports NBC News in Fort Worth.

Jamie and Marian Harris took their giant, 170-pound dog “Sid,” a Leonberger, to see Dr. Lou Tierce for a minor anal gland issue.

Tierce, the Harris family says, told them Sid needed to stay at the clinic for “cold laser” treatment.

After several months, the family asked to see Sid, and the clinic “reluctantly agreed,” says the family attorney.

Sid was in such bad shape he couldn’t walk to meet his owners.

Tierce initially said Sid couldn’t walk because of a “drop in blood pressure,” said the family attorney.

The Harrises then took another dog, …

Continue reading Veterinarian kept dog alive for blood, report says »