Lawsuits filed from prison contain some of America’s best fiction.
A recent example: A pimp given a 100-year prison sentence for stomping the face of a man who refused to pay a prostitute is suing Nike for failing to warn him shoes are “potentially dangerous” weapons.
The Oregonian reports Sirgiorgio Clardy, 26, from Portland, beat the man so severely his face required reconstructive surgery. Clardy robbed his victim and then beat the prostitute until she bled from her ears.
Clardy, who has 20 felonies on his record, was convicted of second-degree assault and declared a “dangerous offender.”
In a handwritten, three-page court filing from prison, Clardy claims Nike failed to warn consumers the shoes could be used to cause serious injury or death and wants the Oregon-based company to pay him $100 million for “mental suffering.”
The prisoner alleges he has tried to starve or otherwise kill himself multiple times since being caged like a violent animal.
He also asked a judge to force Nike to include warning labels in their shoes.
Nike has yet to respond to the suit, which will likely be thrown out before the first pitch of baseball season.
During sentencing, a psychologist testified Clardy is “in the 100th percentile of narcissistic criminals” who think they are “smarter, more attractive and superior” than the rest of humanity and said it’s “100 percent” likely he would commit more crimes.
Clardy, who has threatened to rape police officers’ wives and children, is so dangerous a judge ruled it was unsafe for a court-appointed attorney to sit near him at trial.
“It’s not worth it to put my safety at risk, for what they’re paying me to do this,” said Clardy’s attorney, who likely won’t be filing any appeals.
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