America’s greatest menace to imported dairy products and domestic women has been captured.
Christopher Pagano, accused of being Philadelphia’s “Swiss Cheese Pervert,” was arrested at his home Thursday on stalking, indecent exposure and harassment charges.
Several victims reported on social media that they were approached by a man in a car who offered them money to hold a slice of Swiss cheese on his privates.
Members of the media combed court records and learned Pagano was arrested in 2009 for offering a woman $20 to get friendly with him and some Berner Alpkäse.
One reporter quizzed Pagano at his home, but Pagano said people often mistake him for someone very strange.
A 20-year-old woman on the dating site OkCupid told the reporter a man using a picture of Pagano sent her a message saying he enjoyed “sitophilia,” or a food fetish.
“I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. Thus I started having sex with cheese,” the OkCupid message said.
Police, in interviews, initially said they couldn’t make an arrest because no victims had filed complaints. A veritable cheese wheel of women immediately called police, including several who provided photos of the suspect.
Despite requests from the Cheese Importers Association of America, Pagano was allowed to post $30,000 bond Friday morning and he’s now back at home trying to avoid reporters.
Due to the abundance of photos taken by victims, there’s likely no holes in this case, I wish someone had said so I could quote them.
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