Study: Sex makes people smarter

When asked how they got so smart, Mickey and Minnie refused comment. (AP photo from unrelated story)

When asked how they got so smart, Mickey and Minnie refused comment. (AP photo from unrelated story)

The juvenile phrase “Don’t be dumb, get you some” is, almost unbelievably, scientifically valid.

The Atlantic reports researchers in Maryland and South Korea have concluded “sexual activity in mice and rats improves mental performance and increases” the production of brain cells.

Maryland researchers found middle-aged rats that had sex had improved cognitive function and better memory (and likely memories) than rats that did not have sex.

Korean scientists in a separate study had similar findings, saying “sexual activity counteracts the memory-robbing effects of chronic stress in mice.”

I’ve never been a lab rat, but I imagine that is a stressful job.

Being smart does not mean you will have more sex, The Atlantic reports as though someone actually thinks that is how life works.

Studies have concluded intelligent people have less sex when young, but at an advanced age, “cognitive abilities affect one’s chances of getting lucky.”

An interesting statistic: 32 percent of the elderly with mild cognitive impairment reported having sex recently, about half the rate of the mentally unimpaired.

Sadly, one cannot get smarter simply by visiting a Nevada bunny ranch.

Tracey J. Shors, a psychologist at the Center for Collaborative Neuroscience at Rutgers University, says it also takes something called “successful learning” to retain extra brain cells.

“You can make new cells with exercise, Prozac and sex,” she said. “If you do mental training, you’ll keep alive more cells that you produced. And if you do both, now you have the best of both worlds—you’re making more cells and keeping more alive.”

Oh well, at least the next time my wife tells me I’ve done something stupid I can suggest a quick solution.

More news for intelligent readers:

33 comments Add your comment

Sniffer

January 15th, 2014
10:47 am

I’m the dumbest guy I know…

Brace4impactz

January 15th, 2014
10:57 am

This explains why my girlfriend talks so much after sex….she thinks I’ve learned something.

Bernie31

January 15th, 2014
11:19 am

So George, what exactly is Your Excuse?

Forrest Gump

January 15th, 2014
11:22 am

I’m not a smart man….but Jennys about to change that.

Susan

January 15th, 2014
11:29 am

This is only a persons opinion. Sex does not make a person smarter. That’s a lie.

Susan

January 15th, 2014
11:30 am

Brace4impactz-HAHAHAHAHAHA! :)

joe

January 15th, 2014
11:35 am

I guess we can safely assume that if the content of the study is accurate, Susan’s not getting much…

Bill Clinton

January 15th, 2014
11:53 am

This explains why I’m so smart!

Carl

January 15th, 2014
11:55 am

This explains why I am so stupid!

Bernie31

January 15th, 2014
11:56 am

Susan @ 11:29 am – I bet your Boyfriend and/or Lover comes with Batteries NOT included…:)

double

January 15th, 2014
12:10 pm

Now old men understand what happend to their smarts….

Tom

January 15th, 2014
12:12 pm

My wife asked me why I never talk to her right after sex.

I told her I usually have my phone turned off.

Bumper

January 15th, 2014
12:52 pm

Does the sex have to be with another person, or do selfies count?

Bernie31

January 15th, 2014
1:17 pm

Bumper @ 12:52 pm – A Lover of the Hand…..It never disappoints or have headaches. Your favorite kind of Sex.

uh..huh

hmm worth testing

January 15th, 2014
1:33 pm

Do you remember the Seinfeld where George stopped and got smarter and Elaine got dumber?

DJ_Superstar

January 15th, 2014
1:59 pm

Of course, I get smarter. All the blood flows to the right head after s3x!!!

rightwingextreme

January 15th, 2014
2:05 pm

See Kim Kardashin.

Theory disproved.

Tom

January 15th, 2014
2:18 pm

If this ludicrous hypothesis were true, prostitutes would be the most intelligent people on earth!

LydiasDad

January 15th, 2014
2:21 pm

It made George Costanza dumber.

Willydoit?

January 15th, 2014
2:26 pm

Gives new meaning to “Sex Education”

The Geezer

January 15th, 2014
3:16 pm

If sex makes people smarter then why are there so many unwanted pregnancies?

Fletch

January 15th, 2014
3:33 pm

Considering the dumb things I have done to get laid in my life, it isn’t hard to smarten up a little afterwards…

Of Course

January 15th, 2014
3:39 pm

Blacks must not get much SEX.

Of Course

January 15th, 2014
3:40 pm

Bernie 31 must be a virgin, now we know.

George Costanza

January 15th, 2014
4:16 pm

It has the opposite effect on me.

resno2

January 15th, 2014
4:54 pm

It must be true, just look at Clinton, Reid and Pelosi (you could toss in their leader too, cuz doubt he’s gettin any either). They can’t be getting any, and have to be some of the dumbest people on the planet.

JamVet

January 15th, 2014
5:42 pm

So that explains our freaked out, hung up Republicans’ collective intellectual stature!

Irishmafia116

January 15th, 2014
5:52 pm

So the study confirms that liberals are not only unsexy but dumb as well

Whirled Peas

January 15th, 2014
6:05 pm

Obviously Bernie31 is a40 year old virgin.

woodrow

January 15th, 2014
6:56 pm

Does that include sex with yourself?

DJ

January 15th, 2014
8:19 pm

So can I still use the phrase “she ****** my brains out”?

Rick

January 15th, 2014
8:41 pm

just think how smart porno stars are then lol

C.M. Thornton, III

January 15th, 2014
8:52 pm

That study is obviously BS. If there were any truth to it, hoodrats would be the smartest people inside the perimeter.

“Someone got’s to pay for all my chilrens”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBqjZ0KZCa0