Devil worshipers submit plan for Satan statue

Satan explains how a Dungeons & Dragons wisdom modifier affects a will save to children in Oklahoma. (AP)

Satan explains the Dungeons & Dragons wisdom modifier and how it affects saving throws to children in Oklahoma. (AP)

Looking for something to warm you?

How about a seat on Satan’s lap?

A group of devil worshipers has submitted a plan for a statue at the Oklahoma State Capitol that “depicts Satan as Baphomet, a goat-headed figure with horns and a long beard. … Satan is sitting in a pentagram-adorned throne with smiling children next to him,” writes the Associated Press.

“The statue will also have a functional purpose as a chair where people of all ages may sit on the lap of Satan for inspiration and contemplation,” said Lucien Greaves, spokesdemon for the Satanic Temple in New York City.

There’s currently no plan to have flames under the statue so Satan’s lap is as hot as the fiery furnaces of hell.

Various groups of folks that probably aren’t going to heaven have been submitting plans for “alternate” statues after the Oklahoma Legislature let a privately funded Ten Commandments monument be placed at the Capitol in 2012. The ACLU has sued, saying other religious groups should be allowed to fund statues.

Evil is cheap. The 7-foot statue of Satan will only cost $20,000.

Plans have also been submitted by Hindu leaders, animal rights supporters and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Despite the preacher-confirmed fact that Satan is a fallen angel and has clearly visible wings, the demonic statue “will not fly here,” said state Rep. Don Armes.

Another Oklahoma legislator, Rep. Earl Sears, called the group’s effort “an insult to the good people of the state.”

“I do not see Satanism as a religion, and they have no place at the state Capitol,” said Sears.

The devil lovers said they merely “seek to separate Religion from Superstition by acknowledging religious belief as a metaphorical framework with which we construct a narrative context for our goals and works.”

Oklahoma lawyers are currently analyzing that statement to figure out what it really means.

More news to fire you up:

209 comments Add your comment

Hello World

January 7th, 2014
9:13 am

Great idea. Let us show what religious freedom is all about

TrueAmerican56

January 7th, 2014
9:21 am

Why not? No reason that one religious item should be there, if one, then all. The ten commandments are a religious symbol, thus every religion deserves to put something there. Its public property and no religious symbol should be there, but if you allow one, in an everyone is equal society, then everyone should be able to put a monument to their religion.

Some Dude in Atlanta

January 7th, 2014
9:32 am

Based upon the way people behave these days, I am not surprised to see this.

Jack ®

January 7th, 2014
9:42 am

What will the preachers do when Satan is saved?

MANGLER

January 7th, 2014
9:46 am

I’m interested in seeing the plans for the statue from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Waheema

January 7th, 2014
9:59 am

Great. What a creepy statue. Let’s see a horned monster leering at little children and the ten commandments side by side. If I were a satanist I would put a bag on my head. In only a few years the statue will be in disrepair and the satanists won’t care enough to fix it. This is great!

fh

January 7th, 2014
9:59 am

America has lost all of its morality in a single generation. I weep for our future.

Tim T.

January 7th, 2014
10:03 am

The cute smiling little boy looks like a young Obama.

Michelle

January 7th, 2014
10:31 am

Hey, freedom of religion. I find this no more offensive than a giant cross.

Brace4impactz

January 7th, 2014
10:31 am

“America has lost all of its morality in a single generation. I weep for our future.”

I have to assume you’re kidding. Considering the near genocide of native American’s, slavery, lack of civil rights for women and minorities, nuking civilian cities, lynchings, fathers abandoning families, mistreatment of the sick and poor, boundless hate, etc. Although there is without a doubt some good in America, we’ve been “morally challenged” for generations. That said, I love my country and plan to do my part everyday to help improve her.

Deron

January 7th, 2014
10:42 am

TYPICAL LEFT WING (DEMOCRATS) WACKO’S WANTING TO PROVE THERE IDEOLOGY LIKE GLOBAL WARMING CRAP! IF IT IS TOO COLD THEN IT IS GLOBAL WARMING, TOO HOT – SAME GLOBAL WARMING. IT THE TEMPERATURES ARE NORMAL, OH GLOBAL WARMING AGAIN!

Barry Obama, community organizer

January 7th, 2014
10:42 am

Lucifer is flashing a peace sign.

How cool is that !

This administration embraces diversity and inclusion. I see no harm in joining with Satanic Americans in this celebration of multiculturism and freedom of religion.

Lauren B.

January 7th, 2014
10:42 am

I just wanted to say that this is a very well-written article! It made me laugh out loud. Yes, evil is cheap indeed. I, too, would like to see the plans for the statue from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Don't Tread

January 7th, 2014
10:42 am

Maybe we can also put a form for free 0bamacars in Satan’s hand too, but make sure there’s a shortage. Then watch the fun begin.

BK37

January 7th, 2014
10:54 am

LOL!!!! I just love stuff like this that gets under the skin of the right-wing religious zealots. They love to talk about religious freedom and religious liberty, as long as it’s Christianity only.

Bumper

January 7th, 2014
10:57 am

The Satan statue idea is reprehensible simply because it extols evil. But the law is on the Satanists’ side, government cannot endorse or favor one religion over another. Remove all religious icons from government property and keep church and state separate.

ByteMe

January 7th, 2014
11:01 am

For those looking for info on the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, see here:

http://www.venganza.org/ (including a parade float!)

Bernie31

January 7th, 2014
11:08 am

Exactly what is needed in Front of The Georgia Dome…A True representation of what is operating inside of It, in all of its Prideful Glory…

richard head

January 7th, 2014
11:23 am

a fictional character (the devil)out of a fictional book(the bible) about a fictional man (god) who plays games with our lives

jacksongsu

January 7th, 2014
11:32 am

At least at the Church of Satan the children are safe from abusive priests.

ByteMe

January 7th, 2014
11:33 am

GOATGHAZI!!!!!

Eric de eel

January 7th, 2014
11:34 am

I LOVE it. It’s called religious freedom, America. Religious freedom!

BigDawgEatsAlot

January 7th, 2014
11:48 am

Anyone that argues about the “separation of Church and State” as if it is the law, is naive and misled.

The Separation of Church and State doctrine is no where to be found in the Constitution, nor is it contained within the debates of the Constitutional Convention.

A separatists point of view, meaning someone who wishes to suppress religious points of view from public grounds, is the point in violation of the 1st Amendment. All people are granted “Free Exercise” of religion, and this includes the free excercise of elected officials to erect a monument to depict the beliefs of their constituents.

They can do that, provided that they make no law that requires or compels religious exercise. No monument has ever compelled someone to believe in a religion or feel compelled to practice a religion. And if the presence of that monument hurts your feelings – your feelings are not protected by Constitutional Rights.

motocross survivor

January 7th, 2014
11:50 am

Ah yes, Satan worshippers….are these clowns still living in the ’60s and ’80s? Rebellious children who never could grow up or be anything but outcasts…

Susan

January 7th, 2014
12:01 pm

This is crazy. They should not allow this. They probably will though because the KKK and Satan are all one in the same. Hateful/evil/demonic.

Susan

January 7th, 2014
12:05 pm

Wow….why am I NOT suprised Rep. Don Armes is a Republican? They (the Republican Party) is REALLY coming out with their true demonic colors….

motocross survivor

January 7th, 2014
12:12 pm

Uh, Susan, the KKK has traditionally been very much against groups like Devil worshipers. You seem confused.

tom

January 7th, 2014
12:14 pm

So, if I were to put a plastic replica of this in a jar of urine and poo it would be classified as art, right?

cj

January 7th, 2014
12:19 pm

Disgusting and an abomination to God.

paddy o

January 7th, 2014
12:22 pm

some terrific Pollyanna, brain dead liberal philosophy on display. Keep shoveling the BS. No right and wrong in the liberal utopia. brace4impactz: you are a perfect anal liberal.

paddy o

January 7th, 2014
12:23 pm

Michelle: you were a brainless moron zombie (or a liberal); your comment would appear perfectly thought out. Liberals: too stupid to recognize good vs. evil.

paddy o

January 7th, 2014
12:24 pm

perhaps people should realize the gov’t is a reflection of the people it is governing. If the vast majority of citizens are Satanists, the statue will go up. Just like the majority of Germans elected Hitler.

GUTRAKE

January 7th, 2014
12:30 pm

It’s just a matter of time. America has lost itself and no one’s trying to find her.

brian

January 7th, 2014
12:34 pm

I love how ignorant redneck Christian cultists are panicking over this. The Church of Satan and this effort for the Satan statue is SATIRE meant to mock Christian cultists’ efforts to establish exclusionary privileges for themselves, which is forbidden by the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment. Christians do NOT get exclusive rights to put up their own silly monument that conveys some kind of government-backed approval for their cult. The Christian cult has no higher rank than other cults.

All cults are nonsense. Only current popularity differentiates a “cult” from a “Religion”.

brian

January 7th, 2014
12:38 pm

GUTRAKE – in the 1980s when I was a kid, all the idiot illiterate Christian cultists were complaining about how we’ve lost our way. Since then, the crime rate has plunged, as has the teen pregnancy rate. Guess what, so has religious affiliation. So much for your Christian Taliban take on morality and society.

GUTRAKE

January 7th, 2014
12:42 pm

brian,

You’re childhood didn’t end in the 80’s, either. I could destroy your statistics easily. It’s just not worth the effort. No need to be concerned, though, this decline cannot be stopped…it’s human nature. Freedom without responsibility creates anarchy.

KellyB

January 7th, 2014
12:55 pm

At last a humorously written article on this site. Nice job, George.

brian

January 7th, 2014
12:55 pm

GUTRAKE – how odd, then, that the most atheistic societies like New Zealand, Australia, Asia, and Northern Europe have the lowest crime rates. Further odd that in the US, the most religious states have the highest crime rates, lowest life expectancies, highest teen pregnancy rates, and lowest educational attainments (not to mention fewest teeth).

You can easily confirm the above by researching empirical peer-reviewed articles on “religiosity and societal health” via Google. That is, if you still have internet access remaining at the rural library you’re posting from.

Barry Obama, community organizer

January 7th, 2014
1:00 pm

I find amusing all of you that still cling to their guns and religion. This is the 21st century. We are slowly divesting ourselves of man-made barriers and divisiveness. We will become ONE people, and government will replace your god.

GUTRAKE

January 7th, 2014
1:08 pm

brian,

So-called “empirical, peer-reviewed” stats can be made to say what you want them to say. I think most sane individuals will agree with that.

However, your choice of vitriolic terminology betrays a level of rage. Chill, dude.

Robert1959

January 7th, 2014
1:15 pm

If this was in Georgia they would carve the devils statue on Stone Mountain with all the other White Southern Generals who lost the Civil War. Only in Georgia will people glorify losers and the devil is in the right place.

tom

January 7th, 2014
1:22 pm

Brian, I have just placed a plastic replica of yourself into a jar of warm urine, hot poo, and chunky puke. It’s just art, though. Brilliant know-it-all’s like yourself should be worshiped for their self-believed brilliance, except it’s obvious you worship yourself. Sad, little people like yourself sooner or later meet your match. I’ll pray for your rotted soul.

motocross survivor

January 7th, 2014
1:26 pm

Brian, I find most atheist tards just as pigheaded and dimwitted as Christian fundamentalists. Grow up son. America is pretty sick, I agree, but the disease is not exactly as you want to believe.

GUTRAKE

January 7th, 2014
1:36 pm

brian,

You’ll be fine, buddy. You are still in a self-searching journey and, soon, you’ll evolve (like that word?…huh?) into putting away childish things like your name-calling and NPD rantings. It takes time to fully mature.

GUTRAKE

January 7th, 2014
1:45 pm

BTW…it doesn’t look like satan made people in his own image…does it?

Michael

January 7th, 2014
1:55 pm

Phew! For a second there, I thought it was going to be a picture of Nancy Pelosi. Imagine my relief.

GUTRAKE

January 7th, 2014
1:56 pm

Yea…satan is saying…”you’ll have to sit in my lap before we know what’s in it…”

DarkSideODaMoon

January 7th, 2014
2:01 pm

Putting the ten commandments outside of a place where you make laws is not religious, it’s symbolic. It’s akin to putting a lightbulb on the door of a research and development building. This war agains Christianity is laughable and unnecessary. Christianity doesn’t force anyone to believe in God, it’s purely your choice. And you don’t need a monument to satan, I can find him in just about every stray thought I have.

GUTRAKE

January 7th, 2014
2:08 pm

Good point, DaMoon,

I don’t believe in unicorns, but I don’t write scathing books and articles about those who do. It’s a paranoid rage at the dark abyss and they can’t escape Pascals challenge. Just saying…

DarkSideODaMoon

January 7th, 2014
2:18 pm

Pascals challenge? I had to look that up. Still not sure what it is.