Looking for something to warm you?
How about a seat on Satan’s lap?
A group of devil worshipers has submitted a plan for a statue at the Oklahoma State Capitol that “depicts Satan as Baphomet, a goat-headed figure with horns and a long beard. … Satan is sitting in a pentagram-adorned throne with smiling children next to him,” writes the Associated Press.
“The statue will also have a functional purpose as a chair where people of all ages may sit on the lap of Satan for inspiration and contemplation,” said Lucien Greaves, spokesdemon for the Satanic Temple in New York City.
There’s currently no plan to have flames under the statue so Satan’s lap is as hot as the fiery furnaces of hell.
Various groups of folks that probably aren’t going to heaven have been submitting plans for “alternate” statues after the Oklahoma Legislature let a privately funded Ten Commandments monument be placed at the Capitol in 2012. The ACLU has sued, saying other religious groups should be allowed to fund statues.
Evil is cheap. The 7-foot statue of Satan will only cost $20,000.
Plans have also been submitted by Hindu leaders, animal rights supporters and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Despite the preacher-confirmed fact that Satan is a fallen angel and has clearly visible wings, the demonic statue “will not fly here,” said state Rep. Don Armes.
Another Oklahoma legislator, Rep. Earl Sears, called the group’s effort “an insult to the good people of the state.”
“I do not see Satanism as a religion, and they have no place at the state Capitol,” said Sears.
The devil lovers said they merely “seek to separate Religion from Superstition by acknowledging religious belief as a metaphorical framework with which we construct a narrative context for our goals and works.”
Oklahoma lawyers are currently analyzing that statement to figure out what it really means.
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