Global warming is such a flop at least one snowy owl has moved to Florida.
The large white owl, best known for befriending Harry Potter, probably got confused by all the human snowbirds flying south for winter. The bird was seen near Jacksonville and is only the third snowy owl ever spotted in Florida.
Ornithologists, who aren’t the people that put braces on children’s teeth, say the birds usually live in regions of Canada that are so cold they don’t even have hockey teams. This year, the birds are being seen more often in southern climes, especially the Midwest, where the mercury is sitting uncomfortable below zero.
With the Tuesday low in Atlanta expected to be below 10, we should all be happy polar bears can’t fly.
I’ve been off for a spell, so let’s get quickly to other news:
Georgia Tech is 2nd “most wired” university in the U.S.: An online college resource guide, Unigo, says Ga. Tech is the only public university in it’s Top 10 of “wired” campuses. By “wired,” they don’t mean high on caffeine, they mean Internet connectivity. Tech got props for creating an online master’s degree program that only costs $7,000. The No. 1 wired school? Pomona College, population 1,500, is a private school in California. An undergraduate degree there will set you back about $230,000. Pomona received praise for programs that “examine the character and cultural significance of science and technology.”
The last monolingual speaker of Chickasaw is dead at 93: About 70 speakers of the Native American Indian language, none of which are the Chickasaw Mudd Puppies, still survive.
Legal weed is a hit with shoppers: Colorado merchants say they will be sold out any day now. Marijuana sales became legal Jan. 1, and, despite prices that are much higher than a 6-pack of PBR, people are waiting in line for hours.
Humans love drugs: A police raid of a rural town in China netted three tons of meth. Meth, as your country cousins will tell you, is bad on teeth but much cheaper than legal weed.
Gun maker says no to Pakistan: A U.S. company turned down a $15 million contract to provide high-powered weapons to Pakistan, saying the guns could potentially by used against U.S. soldiers.
U.S. waives law banning Chinese parts in military jets: American companies couldn’t provide $2 magnets needed to keep the $392 billion Lockheed Martin Corp F-35 fighter program on track.
FBI drops “law enforcement” as primary mission: Counter-terrorism is officially the top priority of federal agency, which will certainly please those in the $250 billion a year identity theft industry.
Woman in spat with baker receives “poo cake” at engagement party: The photo is hilarious.