Archive for January, 2014

Tutor teaches students to hack better grades

Some of America’s worst high school students are among our best hackers.

But some students fail at everything.

In California, 11 such students have been kicked out of Corona del Mar High after being caught hacking teachers’ computers to change grades and steal tests, reports The Orange County Register.

The punchline? The students all had the same tutor, who allegedly instructed them on how to install keystroke loggers on school computers.

It’s not known if the tutor is a former Atlanta educator, but his name is Timothy Lai and he’s made himself as scarce as an indicted superintendent.

The Newport-Mesa Unified School District school system is investigating more than 50,000 grade changes to see how many were performed by hackers.

I suppose it’s possible the tutor was running a criminal enterprise and paying the 11 students to change the grades of others.

If that scenario is true, I don’t know whether the tutor should be jailed or hired by the NSA.

If you can’t beat ‘em, hire …

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Millionaire asks ex-wife to stay on as maid

I imagine it’s not easy being rich.

Con artists are always looking for “investors” and almost everything you would deign to own (cars, clothes, islands) cost more that what the jealous masses are buying.

The rich are so miserable one billionaire, investor Tom Perkins, compared “class demonization” to being Jewish in Nazi Germany.

When it comes to relationships, many wealthy individuals are left to wonder if their friends, wives and/or husbands love them or their bank account.

In London, a millionaire who asked his ex-wife to stay on as housekeeper for him and his new wife, probably didn’t think about things like that.

The man, in his 70s, told the court he is “bewildered” by the “aggressive” behavior of his ex-wife after he explained he was moving the younger woman and her child into their home.

A London High Court judge probably added to the confusion by telling the man his ex-wife is entitled to half his $20 million fortune.

The man and ex-wife married in the 1970s and …

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Deal: ‘Severe Weather Awareness’ week is next week

Gov. Nathan Deal (left) issues a proclamation to GEMA Director Charley English saying next week is "Severe Weather Awareness" week. (GEMA Twitter photo)

Gov. Nathan Deal (left) issues a proclamation to GEMA Director Charley English saying next week is "Severe Weather Awareness" week. Fox 5 weather guru Ken Cook (behind Deal) must not have warned them of Tuesday's snowstorm. (GEMA Twitter photo)

As snow fell Tuesday and roads iced, schools closed and motorists became trapped in cars across north Georgia, a nigh-forgotten press release in the AJC newsroom became a punchline.

Last week, Gov. Nathan Deal encouraged the media to attend a ceremony where he would declare Feb. 3-7  as “Severe Weather Awareness Week.”

Thursday, Georgia Emergency Management Agency Director Charley English was “presented” a proclamation, which, if framed, might be the closest thing GEMA has to a functioning snow shovel.

The words “Brownie, you’re doing a heckuva job,” were allegedly not uttered.

Tuesday night, Gov. Deal, in consultation with English, declared a state of emergency due to an “unexpected” storm that weather forecasters had been talking …

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Lawsuit: Flatulent opera singer can’t work

An opera singer in Nashville, Tenn., can’t find work due to chronic flatulence after a botched surgery, a lawsuit alleges.

The Military Times reports singer Amy Herbst has filed a $2.5 million federal lawsuit against an Army hospital for negligence, pain and suffering, embarrassment and loss of income.

Herbst, whose husband was an Army staff sergeant, was, without her knowledge or consent, given an episiotomy during childbirth at Blanchfield Army Community Hospital in Kentucky. The episiotomy, a cut made between the vagina and anus to ease childbirth, was conducted by an Army nurse, not a surgeon, and has permanently damaged Herbst’s digestive and reproductive systems, the lawsuit alleges.

After the surgery, Herbst is unable to work with the Nashville Opera Company due to “periodic leaking of stool and excessive flatulence,” the lawsuit alleges.

Reconstructive surgery would be expensive, may not work, and would likely have to be repeated, the lawsuit states. Future childbirths …

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Heroin labeled ‘Theraflu’ kills 17

Should ‘recreational’ drugs be legalized and taxed?

I’m typically against regulation, but with drugs some form of quality control seems prudent.

Case in point: In Pennsylvania, heroin labeled “Theraflu” has killed at least 17 people.

The street drug isn’t packaged to look anything like the cold and flu medicine; I guess it’s a drug dealer’s idea of a joke.

Experts say bad smack contains the narcotic fentanyl, which is even more powerful than heroin, and users are overdosing.

Despite warnings from health officials and a higher price, the “Theraflu” heroin appears to be in high demand.

“[Addicts] are willing to pay more, and the dealers are competing,” a local rehab director said. “[Dealers] don’t want to lose to the competition, so we will start to see copycat individual stamp bags with the same name. It’s not like there is quality control from the Food and Drug Administration.”

Eighteen others have been treated and survived overdoses during the last week in just one small …

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Ghost ship packed with cannibal rats lost at sea

the The Lyubov Orlova, pictured here in better times, hasn’t been heard from since March 2013. (AP photo)

The Lyubov Orlova, pictured here in better times, hasn’t been heard from since March 2013. (AP photo)

In a scenario that should become a movie, a “ghost ship” packed with “cannibal rats” is lost at sea and may soon crash into Britain’s shore.

The Independent reports a Russian cruise liner, the “Lyubov Orlova,” has been drifting in the North Atlantic for several months and, despite satellite technology, no one can seem to find it.

Experts say it is likely headed to England and likely full of rats that have been eating each other to stay alive. A competent movie director will also have these rats mutating near a nuclear reactor and developing some form of disease and perhaps superpowers.

Built in 1976, the massive ship was abandoned in Canada after its owner was unable to pay its crew. The ship was sold as scrap but was lost in a storm while being towed to  the Dominican Republic.

Unfortunately for those who have nightmares, ghost ships packed with cannibals rats are fairly …

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Report: GSU tops UGA on ‘Sugar Daddy’ site

This lucky college student has enough money for more clothes and maybe a more advanced writing utensil. (Image provided by SeekingArrangement.com)

This lucky college student has enough money for more clothes and maybe a more advanced writing utensil. (Image provided by SeekingArrangement.com)

As any taxpayer or college student will tell you, education is expensive.

Tuition and other costs have skyrocketed, growing 65 percent in the last five years in Georgia, according to a recent Washington Post article.

Forbes reports the average college graduate is $26,000 in debt when donning cap and gown. Ten percent of graduates rack up more than $40,000 in loans.

Some students are going to extreme measures to ameliorate ( <— fancy college word–<< ) student loan debt.

A University of Michigan grad who has more than $30,000 in college loans is selling advertising space on his mortar board.

As I’ve reported before, some cash-strapped students looking for a free ride are willing to sell more.

Each year, SeekingArrangement.com, which allegedly helps “college students connect with wealthy benefactors,” reports where its new members say …

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Violent convict sues Nike for ‘dangerous’ shoes

Lawsuits filed from prison contain some of America’s best fiction.

A recent example: A pimp given a 100-year prison sentence for stomping the face of a man who refused to pay a prostitute is suing Nike for failing to warn him shoes are “potentially dangerous” weapons.

The Oregonian reports Sirgiorgio Clardy, 26, from Portland, beat the man so severely his face required reconstructive surgery. Clardy robbed his victim and then beat the prostitute until she bled from her ears.

Clardy, who has 20 felonies on his record, was convicted of second-degree assault and declared a “dangerous offender.”

In a handwritten, three-page court filing from prison, Clardy claims Nike failed to warn consumers the shoes could be used to cause serious injury or death and wants the Oregon-based company to pay him $100 million for “mental suffering.”

The prisoner alleges he has tried to starve or otherwise kill himself multiple times since being caged like a violent animal.

He also asked a judge to …

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Man searched via enemas settles for $1.6 million

A man forced by New Mexico police to undergo three enemas during a drug search has settled with local authorities for $1.6 million, CNN reports.

Motorist David Eckert, 54, filed a federal lawsuit in November against police after enduring a “14-hour-long humiliating and invasive police goose chase for illegal drugs.”

Eckert said he was pulled over by Deming, N.M., police in January 2013 after pulling out of a shopping plaza parking lot.

Police ordered him out of his car and said he appeared to be “clenching his buttocks.” A police dog allegedly indicated the scent of drugs on the car seat.

Eckert was arrested in a Wal-Mart parking lot and taken to jail. A Hidalgo County judge signed a search warrant that included an “anal cavity” search.

Police took Eckert to a Hidalgo County hospital to be searched, but the local hospital refused. Police then took Eckert to another county, where, against his will, he was subjected to multiple examinations, including three separate enemas and …

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‘Swiss cheese pervert’ holed up after arrest

America’s greatest menace to imported dairy products and domestic women has been captured.

Christopher Pagano, accused of being Philadelphia’s “Swiss Cheese Pervert,” was arrested at his home Thursday on stalking, indecent exposure and harassment charges.

Several victims reported on social media that they were approached by a man in a car who offered them money to hold a slice of Swiss cheese on his privates.

Members of the media combed court records and learned Pagano was arrested in 2009 for offering a woman $20 to get friendly with him and some Berner Alpkäse.

One reporter quizzed Pagano at his home, but Pagano said people often mistake him for someone very strange.

A 20-year-old woman on the dating site OkCupid told the reporter a man using a picture of Pagano sent her a message saying he enjoyed “sitophilia,” or a food fetish.

“I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. Thus I started having sex with cheese,” the OkCupid …

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