Study: Online dating has lots of liars

"Wow! He donates he medical expertise to Doctor's Without Borders and looks like Brad Pitt? I think I'll send his a friendly message!" (AP photo)

"Wow! He works with Doctors Without Borders and looks like Brad Pitt? I think I'll tell him I have a 'sexually liberated' twin sister to get his attention." (AP photo)

Even losers need love, which may explain the popularity of online dating.

Just kidding, I know many people who have met their second or third husband or wife through Match.com, OKCupid.com or the Taxidermy.net forum.

It seems liars need love too. According to a new Pew Research Center study, the interwebs are chock full of ‘em.

To save you the trouble of having to read the entire 57-page PDF I will list some highlights:

  • More than half (54 percent) of online daters think people “seriously” misrepresented themselves online.
  • 42 percent on females using online dating websites feel they have been harassed by men. Only 17 percent of men felt that way.
  • 32 percent of internet users agree with the statement that “online dating keeps people from settling down because they always have options for people to date.”

But it’s not all bad news. A lot more people are using online dating sites and the social stigma of being unable to trick a person into liking you without using technology seems to be fading.

Here’s the good news from the study:

  • 21 percent of overall internet users agree with the statement that “people who use online dating sites are desperate,” an 8-point decline from the 29 percent who said so in 2005.
  • 59 percent of all internet users agree with the statement that “online dating is a good way to meet people,” a 15-point increase from the 44 percent who said so in 2005.
  • 53 percent of internet users agree with the statement that “online dating allows people to find a better match for themselves because they can get to know a lot more people,” a 6-point increase from the 47 percent who said so in 2005.
  • 11 percent of American adults — and 38 percent of those who are currently “single and looking” for a partner — have used online dating sites or mobile dating apps.
  • 66 percent of online daters have gone on a date with someone they met through a dating site or app.
  • 23 percent of online daters say they have met a spouse or long term relationship through these sites.

The seasoned veterans at The New York Post home in on the real news with the subtly titled article “Online daters weave web of lies to catch mates.”

They even asked a “relationship expert” to state the obvious.

“Life is a series of small and large lies,” said author Dan Slater, who added that humans lie “to seem more attractive.”

And take it from me, a soon-to-retire journalist who only drives a BMW when his Porsche is visiting the mechanic, it is easier to lie online than in person.

23 comments Add your comment

Tim T.

October 23rd, 2013
2:47 pm

Congratulations on your upcoming retirement and nice cars. I will start being more respectful towards you in the future.

MoFaux

October 23rd, 2013
2:47 pm

Worked for me, met the love of my life online. Also, this just in…people lie in person too, not just on the internet dating sites.

GeoffDawg

October 23rd, 2013
2:51 pm

I met my beautiful wife on match.com and today, we’ve been married three years and have a precious 2 year old daughter. My experience with women “lying” was usually with the manner in which they posted their pictures. They were either old, taken from misleadingly advantageous angles, or were 40 pounds ago. I would assume that male lying would be along the lines of salary or prestige in their profession.

Grace

October 23rd, 2013
3:03 pm

It’s actually a good tool for people who are not in the streets alot. U can find out upfront their educational status, how many kids, job etc…. before going on the 1st date. Yeah people can lie, but they can also lie in a night club or church in your face. Dating is what it is…………..

Rita

October 23rd, 2013
3:06 pm

I hate to say this but online dating, in my opinion is for people that are desperate, and on the other hand, people that are hiding things about themselves. I tried it before, it didn’t work. I learned that it is better to see a person than go by what they state or tell you about themselves before they meet you in person. It’s a sham, trust me…

joe

October 23rd, 2013
3:10 pm

Then Barak Obama must do online dating…cause he is the biggest liar on the face of this planet!!!

joe

October 23rd, 2013
3:12 pm

On a serious note, I tried it a couple times and found that many people mislead by posting old photos that look nothing like them today. Of course people lie on their profiles a lot of the time, just like they do on resumes. Comes with the territory. I prefer meeting potential dates/mates in person cause you can’t get a good read from a couple pics on a computer monitor…but spend 5 minutes with said person and you know just about all you need to know if you have good intuition.

Kay

October 23rd, 2013
3:25 pm

My husband and I have been happily married for 10 years and have a daughter. We met through an online dating service. Of course it has its pros and cons. However, I think that it is a great way to meet people and cut through a lot of the crap. You can find people who share your interests and have similar goals and values.

GeoffDawg

October 23rd, 2013
3:28 pm

@Rita, for casual dating, I would agree with you. When I tried match.com and eharmony, I was at the point where I was ready for something serious, possibly leading to marriage and frankly, I wanted to see some biographic information up front to see if I’d be wasting my time on something without any potential for staying power. I had met lots of women that only went for 1 or 2 dates, had two relatively serious girlfriends of six months to a year, and then I met the lady that I married. I had a lot of fun, met a lot of people that I never would’ve been exposed to otherwise and I don’t consider it to be a waste of time at all.

Bernie31

October 23rd, 2013
3:34 pm

joe @3:12 pm – Surely You are Not a Day at the Beach, I am sure.! Would Love to hear from a few of your VICTIMS!

No return calls for dates…You say!

word of advice…try soap, deodorant, Toothbrush w/toothpaste, mouthwash, clean DRAWERS! the ones without stains, and clean shirt and pants….A shave would not hurt either.

Dinner out at “PO Folks” is frowned upon and splitting of a Large Mcdonald’s French Fry will not cut it.

Smell ya Later……

Sweet Pea

October 23rd, 2013
3:34 pm

Either way, you are taking a risk as anyone can hide something whether it’s online or face to face. I don’t believe you are desperate if you meet someone online as it’s another way of meeting others. Once you meet someone in person after meeting them online, you still can sense whether are full of games or genuine. I believe that if you are meeting their representative, the real Slim Shady will show up after a few months as the representative is too weak to hold Slim Shady down!!!

GeoffDawg

October 23rd, 2013
3:42 pm

One thing to consider with the perception of “desperate” is lack of opportunity. Once you’re out of college, your pool of potential dates can be severely diminished. Also, once you’re out of your early to mid-twenties, your desire to go out several times a week to party also erodes significantly. Personally, I worked at a company where I was by far the junior employee with almost all of my colleagues older and married. At a certain point, your close friends that you would go out with for social activities start to settle down with serious relationships and marriage. You could start trolling the bars by your lonesome for singles but the women you pick up at a bar are likely cheaper than the PBR tall boy they’re drinking.

Kay

October 23rd, 2013
3:55 pm

I agree with GeoffDawg (3:42 pm). I was divorced, and had moved to a new town. I didn’t know anyone. So, …….. tried the bar scene, but I wasn’t looking for “Mr. Right NOW”. So……. the online dating was really a good option for me. I met the love of my life, and we would never have met each other otherwise. Of course people are going present themselves in the best way possible, ie “curvy” instead of obese, “tolerant” instead of prejudice, Successful career track instead of entry level…….you get the idea. But, if you have half a brain, you can figure out if a person is sincere or not. Online dating gives you a large selection of potential mates that you would most likely never have met otherwise. Try it, you may just find the very person you have been hoping to meet.

MANGLER

October 23rd, 2013
4:15 pm

I trust online dating profiles less than I trust someone’s linked in or facebook profile.
Some issues boil down to people seeing themselves differently than they project themselves.
Some of it is differing opinions of things like body type and physical descriptions.
Sometimes it’s outright lies to get hits.
You have to know what you’re looking for before anything successful will happen. If you have no idea what you want, then you are not going to enjoy dating, online especially.

He lies like a rug

October 23rd, 2013
4:59 pm

My husband has had several online dating profiles and 99% of the information he listed was a lie. He did tell the truth about his gender. Everything else he said he was and what he was looking for was a sad and pathetic lie. He is looking for his best friend, lover and soulmate. Which will be a challenge, because he does not actually have a soul of his own. He wants to steal someone else’s soul. If you are a single woman looking for a date on line would you want to hear from the current wife or not? I am wondering if I should warn these women. Looking forward to the divorce to be final.

Grace

October 23rd, 2013
5:41 pm

I tell u this, I know more people who met their lying cheating spouses off line than online.

Horsetoothedjackass

October 23rd, 2013
7:01 pm

People lie on the Internet? Well I am truly shocked! You mean to tell me that the wealthy Nigerian businessman that emailed me needing my help to get $50 million out of Nigeria wasn’t being truthful?

The TRUTH

October 24th, 2013
7:20 am

I can’t tell you the number of single friends that used online dating that found their / our married friends online. The internet is full of lies and liars and it’s getting worse. It’s sad when the bulk of our society is dishonest. And it’s not just online dating, you get away with one lie here and another one there and pretty soon it becomes second nature.

The TRUTH is so much easier.

@ MANGLER

October 24th, 2013
7:35 am

LinkedIn profiles are the easiest to detect fraud. Unlike Facebook, the more connections you have on LinkedIn the better. I refuse to connect with a previous colleague that was fired or was crappy at their job. If you know the person well enough to be connect, then you can easily spot their lies, and misinformation. I have had headhunters contact me via LinkedIn and it has produced several lucrative job offers.

Jason Lee

October 29th, 2013
12:58 pm

Well written and so true but Americans are now in love with online dating!

Jason Lee, Editor
http://www.DatingWebsiteReview.net – reviews and free trials

Malvo

October 30th, 2013
11:08 am

I’ve had better luck meeting chicks in bars than online—plus, they are a lot wilder which is good!

Grace

October 30th, 2013
1:19 pm

NEWS FLASH, PEOPLE BEEN LYING ABOUT THEMSELVES BEFORE THE INTERNET

Now Happily Married

October 30th, 2013
4:27 pm

My experience was that some people “over presented” themselves, but certainly not most. But if so, I found out on the first date, and that was that. I also met some very nice people, and even some who over sold themselves were still nice. If a date didn’t work out, it wasn’t the end of the world. I ended up meeting my wonderful wife on-line. We would have never come across each other’s path otherwise, so it was truly a great thing.