Nothing spoils romance quite like flatulence.
An article by The New York Daily News that was likely written by someone in marketing says the “award-winning healthcare product is particularly useful for sufferers of digestive disorders such as IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), Crohn’s disease, Colitis and food intolerances.”
But a photo of a beautiful woman shoving her scentless derriere into a happy man’s face illustrates the true purpose of the nigh-magical undergarments — it’s finally safe for humans to socialize like dogs.
As might be expected, the military-industrial complex has created a product as potent as any bomb dropped by a chili dog-eating husband who has given up on anything more emotionally complex than fantasy football. The aforementioned press release … I mean article … says Shreddies (that’s the name of these things) can effectively blunt the assault of a gas “200 times the strength of the average flatus emission.”
Like heroin syringes, Shreddies are reusable, according to the cut-and-paste Daily News prose. “The thin and flexible cloth, which contains Zorflex — the same activated carbon material used in chemical warfare suits — is reactivated simply by washing the pants,” someone ctrl-c and ctrl-v’d just hours before I did.
Let ‘er rip America!
More news I sniffed out this A.M.: