Porn viewing spikes during federal shutdown

Kittens are on the run in Nevada.

Please, think of the kittens. (original image/meme from FARK.com)

When times are tough many Americans turn to their faith, family or friends to get them through.

Some may also turn to pornography.

The world’s most popular porn site says web traffic spiked during the partial government shutdown.

The pornhub.com press release, which is safe for work, says “it’s as if Bill Clinton was back in office.”

Here’s how the excited porn purveyor put it: “Country wide there has been an increase of 4.5%, while the states with the highest spikes have been Nevada (up 42%), Oklahama (up 21%), and Florida (up 14%). Only Missouri (nicknamed the ’show me state’) is down 4.5%. … Maybe they’re providing all the new content instead of viewing it!”

Well isn’t that lovely.

Nevada, where you can pay to have sex with real human beings, had a 42% increase. Why? Either pornhub analysts don’t know how to run a calculator or we’ve found the NSA’s headquarters.

Georgians, who excel at everything except maybe education and tolerance, were among those clicking the hardest.

Here’s the Top 10 states and the percentage increase in porn consumption:

  • Nevada (42 percent)
  • Oklahoma (21.2 percent)
  • Florida (13.9 percent)
  • Georgia (8.2 percent)
  • New York (7.9 percent)
  • Illinois (6.3 percent)
  • Vermont (5.2 percent)
  • Pennsylvania (5.2 percent)
  • Maryland (5.2 percent)
  • Ohio (5.1 percent)

Alabama, due to a two-week hog calling/dating event, could only muster a 1.3% increase.

As those of you going to Heaven have already concluded, this is not good news.

Porn addiction is a real thing being exacerbated by the ubiquity of free, endless NSFW images on the Internet.

A recent survey by the addiction specialists at ProjectKnow.com suggests spending hours alone looking at pictures and videos of naked strangers can be harmful to personal relationships and may even cause sexual dysfunction.

A group of 73,000 Reddit users are trying to kick the porn habit together, according to an infographic from Project Know.

Here’s a few of the more interesting findings gleaned from the survey of 1,500 porn enthusiasts:

  • 75 percent of survey respondents were single
  • About 50 percent have never had sex
  • 90 percent are straight men
  • Most started watching porn before they turned 14
  • 59 percent admitted viewing porn between 5 and 14 hours per week
  • 27 percent said they experienced no adverse effects from viewing porn

19 comments Add your comment

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joe

October 17th, 2013
2:56 pm

Well of course it did…they are only doing what they would normally do on the job anyway…

LydiasDad

October 17th, 2013
3:01 pm

What an ignorant dig against Georgia. I’m surprised anything changed. I figured most Fed employees watch porn at work all day anyway.

Don't Tread

October 17th, 2013
3:09 pm

“…Nevada, where you can pay to have sex with real human beings…”

You can, but think about all the people they had sex with before you, and all the people those people had sex with, and so on. Now think of the possible diseases any of those people could have that are being transmitted from one to the other. Eewwwww.

abbysenia

October 17th, 2013
3:11 pm

I did my part! It’s our patriotic DUTY! lol
Surprise that people would actually find a stress relife!? LOL
“Bird do it, bees do it, even little educated FLEAS DO IT”! LOL

Ron Jeremy Rocks!

October 17th, 2013
3:14 pm

Georgia is only 4? We can do better than this!

wishing

October 17th, 2013
3:30 pm

I guess this means lots of people are not using their work computers to view porn?

Kar

October 17th, 2013
3:31 pm

I’m not sure what this says about Nevado and Oklahoma….

GaDawg

October 17th, 2013
4:06 pm

I bet if they checked the Government credit cards issued to Federal employees, you would find the charges to those porm sites

Tim T.

October 17th, 2013
4:36 pm

What does Prom viewing have to do with the Federal Shutdown?

mikehunt

October 17th, 2013
4:49 pm

looks like all the furloed feds were in Vegas ………………looks like what happens doesn’t stay in Vegas after all !

Bernie31

October 17th, 2013
6:01 pm

More are Republicans than any other Viewer….The Freaks!

Jamal Jenkums

October 17th, 2013
6:44 pm

Well all those lazy democRATS were on vacation during the shut down! They got unemployment and now they will get back pay! I can’t wait until they run out of other peoples money!

Bob LeBlah

October 17th, 2013
7:07 pm

What a shock… We were better off when the Federal “Jobs program” was out of service.

Tiredoftheajc

October 17th, 2013
8:21 pm

“Georgians, who excel at everything except maybe education and tolerance” Really, Mr. Mathis??? You’re large part of the reason why more and more people wish there was an alternative to the ajc here in Atlanta.

Thor

October 17th, 2013
11:43 pm

Tiredoftheajc: Truth hurts, don’t it? Keep it coming, Mr. Mathis.

Bill Clinton's Love Child

October 18th, 2013
4:21 am

What was the increase in Utah? Just curious.

Also, Public Service Announcement: To avoid burning your retinas be sure and keep at least 8 inches of distance between your eyes and the screen. Be sure and use a ruler or tape measure since it is highly possible to underestimate what 8 inches looks like.

[...] federal workers who found themselves jobless during the shutdown will all be given back pay for the time  spent stimulating…um…the economy. When times are tough many Americans turn to their faith, family or friends to get them [...]

MrLiberty

October 18th, 2013
7:26 pm

Not only did these parasites get paid for sitting on their collective a**es for 16 days, but many of them actually had the nerve to file for unemployment and GET IT ! The unemployment folks say that they rarely if ever ask for the money back. So these clowns, who are considered by their own bosses as “non-essential” and by most of America as NOT NEEDED AT ALL, collected full pay, plus unemployment while out on vacation. Gotta love our worthless Federal Government.