The phrase “make me a sandwich” is carved on many a neolithic cave wall, but it’s also the marching orders of a modern day woman on a quest to make her boyfriend her husband.
Smith explains her Star Wars-obsessed boyfriend, during a Sunday lunchtime viewing of “Return of the Jedi,” told her she was “300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”
So, she “got cooking.” To my knowledge, however, most sandwiches do not require “cooking,” unless you are whipping up something for Elvis.
Smith is OK with building an emotional foundation with slabs of rye, even though her boyfriend’s morning greeting is often, “You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?”
“I will learn how to cook amazing food, we will learn more about each other, and hopefully my boyfriend will make good on his promise,” she writes.
Today’s recipe, No. 179 for those keeping score, is “Not Your Mother’s Roast Beef” Spicy French Dip.” It looks rather tasty, but I am not sure I’d base a marriage on it.
She’s even posted a list of ingredients her boyfriend won’t eat, which includes tomatoes, blueberries, raisins and olives.
Strangely, some women are raining on Smith’s hoagie parade.
Stacey Brook, a 30-year-old freelance writer, has created a competing blog — Ordering 300 Sandwiches – where she tries to win a man’s heart with “as little effort as possible.”
She usually orders a sandwich for her boyfriend, but sometimes she can’t even mustard that. One offering is called “Half a Bag of Milano Cookies” which she says counts for 10 sandwiches.
Brook, who also lives in New York, says Smith’s sandwich blog “was a botched attempt to cutely interpret, what is on a base level, a pretty demeaning ask … A marriage is a contract that requires the eager participation of two people, and when even a hint of subservience is laced into the deal, even in a pseudo-joking way, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”
For more in bad taste, check out “The Floor Sandwich” that Smith’s boyfriend, and innocent victim if there ever was one, had to eat.
Here’s more news to read while eating a lunch sandwich: