Archive for September, 2013

Football ticket, step-daughter, up for grabs

Someone tell stepdad Jessica can probably find a date by herself.

Someone tell stepdad Jessica can probably find a date by herself.

It’s tough being a Tennessee football fan: your team stinks, the last decent coach volunteered to move to California and, let’s face it — orange ain’t the best color unless you’re trying to not get hit by cars.

Tennessee morale is so low one father is offering a free game ticket to a man who will date his step-daughter.

The good news? The step-daughter, Jessica, is not bad looking and would probably have some entertaining stories about her fumbling step-dad.

The bad news? Jessica thinks this is a good idea and you have to go to The Swamp this Saturday and watch the Volunteers take on the Gators.

The Craigslist ad posted Monday night has been pulled but Fox Sports’ Sam Gardner managed to capture it in all its glory.

The man behind the marketing magic is Gary Yates, a Tennessee fan living in Denver who paid $150 for the ticket. Yates said in the ad that he was making the ticket — and Jessica — available because …

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Police: Songs by ‘The Eagles’ led to knife attack

Not a classic rock fan. (Image taken from abcnews4.com)

Not a classic rock fan. (Image taken from abcnews4.com)

A South Carolina woman charged with attacking a roommate with a knife may have snapped after listening to endless replays of Eagles songs, police say.

Vernett Bader, 54, of North Charleston, apparently didn’t want to “Take it Easy” after the man told her to “shut up” when she asked him to quit playing the music.

Police say she grabbed a 14-inch serrated bread knife and swung it at the man repeatedly, slicing his arms and hands but not his ears, which seem to be the problem here.

The man managed to get the knife away from Bader but she ran and got another one so he locked himself in the bathroom while she potentially poked holes in his giant 1970s speakers.

Neighbors corroborated the victim’s story but not that bit about poking holes in speakers.

Investigators were unable to determine which “classic rock” song set the woman off but narrowed the suspects to the following:

  • Take It Easy
  • Witchy Woman
  • Lyin’ Eyes
  • Already …

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Decades later, 6 missing people found in cars in lake

Investigators examine the long-submerged cars. (Image from newson6.com)

Investigators examine the long-submerged cars. (Image from newson6.com)

Police departments love hoarding expensive equipment (exhibits A and B) but sometimes it pays off.

In Oklahoma, state police testing out new sonar on a lake found six decades-old skeletons in two cars.

The remains were identified as those of three teens missing since 1970 and three men missing since the early 1960s.

The bodies were found Tuesday as police practiced using the sonar on Foss Lake in Custer County. They detected two cars and figured they would be newer vehicles that were recently stolen.

Instead, they found a 1969 Camaro, a 1950 Chevy and — after pulling the rusted hulks out of the water — bones.

The remains found in the Camaro are thought to be those of Jimmy Williams, 16 at the time of his death, Thomas Michael Rios, 18, and Leah Gail Johnson, 18. Williams, who bought the car by working at a grocery store, was thought to be driving his friends from his hometown of Sayre to a football game in …

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‘Man who couldn’t catch AIDS’ commits suicide

Stephen Crohn, an artist and editor, in New York, Aug. 10, 1996. (Nancy Siesel/The New York Times)

Stephen Crohn, an artist and editor, in New York, Aug. 10, 1996. (Nancy Siesel/The New York Times)

The world is fortunate Stephen Crohn was born different.

Crohn, 66, “the man who can’t catch Aids,” committed suicide in New York, the New York Times reports.

Crohn was gay and watched many of his friends die. In 1978, when the disease was little understood, Crohn began caring for his partner Jerry Green, one of the first to die from the disease that became known as AIDS.

It was difficult to live in a state of “continuous grief,” said Crohn in a 1999 interview with PBS. “You keep losing people every year – six people, seven people. … The only thing you could compare it to would be to be in a war.”

But Crohn, the great-nephew of gastroenterologist Burrill B. Crohn, among the first to describe Crohn’s disease, never got sick.

Medical researchers took samples of his blood and subjected it to HIV concentrations thousands of times greater than what would occur outside of a test tube. …

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Miss America spawns racist tweets

Miss New York Nina Davuluri was crowned Miss America Sunday. (AP Photo/Mel Evans)

Miss New York Nina Davuluri was crowned Miss America Sunday. (AP Photo/Mel Evans)

Racism, unlike Miss America, is ugly.

After 24-year-old Nina Davuluri, the first woman of Indian descent to win the contest,  was crowned, ignorance flooded social media like it was Nancy Creek.

“Miss America? You mean Miss 7-11,” wrote @JPLman95 on Twitter.

“If you’re Miss America you should have to be one,” wrote someone else, according to CNN.

“9/11 was 4 days ago and she gets miss America?” tweeted @LukeBrasili.

“The liberal Miss America judges won’t say this – but Miss Kansas lost because she actually represented American values,” said @toddstarnes.

“Miss America right now or miss Al Qaeda?” tweeted Shannon McCann.

Davuluri, the second consecutive New York resident to win the contest, represents American values too.

“I have to rise above [racism],” she said. “I always viewed myself as first and foremost American.”

An example of how stupid @LukeBrasili can be. (Twitter.com)

An example of how stupid @LukeBrasili can be. (Twitter.com)

Personally, I was …

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Brain-eating amoeba found in public water supply

Wikipedia entry on amoebas was written by a clown.

Wikipedia entry on amoebas was written by a clown.

If I was to make a list of things I never want to encounter it would look something like this:

  • Brain-eating amoebas
  • Ex-wife turned IRS agent

As you can see, a brain-eating amoeba is No. 1 on the list, and the most likely since I don’t yet have an ex-wife.

In Louisiana, however, the threat of a brain-eating microorganism is very real.

CNN reports the death of a 4-year-old boy has been blamed on the rare single-celled animal. Tests conclude the St. Bernard Parish water supply contains ‘Naegleria fowleri,’ which is found in hot springs and other warm fresh water, most often in the southwest U.S.

The Louisiana parish’s water is safe to drink, but getting water in the nose may allow the amoeba to travel to the brain where it begins eating. Less than 1 percent of patients survive the infection.

Chlorine kills the amoeba, but apparently the Louisiana water system had let chlorine levels dip too low.

I was reading the Wikipedia …

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NASA purchased fuel for Google jet fleet

Visual evidence of frog torture supplied by NASA, who has yet to purchase fuel for my jet.

Visual evidence of frog torture supplied by NASA, who has yet to purchase fuel for my jet.

NASA, when it wasn’t terrorizing amphibious lifeforms, was buying jet fuel for the billionaire founders of Google.

The sweet deal for Google’s Larry Page and Sergey Brin ended Aug. 31, reports the Wall Street Journal.

A company owned by Google purchased 2.3 million gallons of jet fuel at reduced costs since 2009, paying an average $3.19 per gallon. The corporate average is about $4.35 per gallon. Google’s deal with NASA had been in place since 2007.

“I don’t see how anybody can buy it that cheap,” said Fred Pitts, president of the Corporate Aircraft Association.

The company’s aircraft include a Boeing 767, Boeing 757, four Gulfstream Vs, helicopters and other aircraft. Three of the jets recently flew to Croatia so Page and his entourage could see his brother-in-law get married in a medieval hill town near the Adriatic Coast.

For the cheaper fuel,  Google allowed NASA to use a small …

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Report: Mumford & Sons booted from Clermont

Mumford & Sons, who are not related to Sanford & Son, perform at Centennial Park before causing trouble at the Clermont. (Photo by Robb Cohen)

Mumford & Sons, who are not related to Sanford & Son, perform at Centennial Park before stirring up trouble at the Clermont. (Photo by Robb Cohen)

It doesn’t take much to get booted from the Clermont Lounge.

If memory serves, I was once asked to leave for telling Blondie the truth about poetry.

Mumford & Sons, perhaps the most reviled successful band in the world, was ejected from the Ponce strip club Tuesday night, according to TMZ. There’s even a grainy non-action video.

Anonymous “strip club sources” say things went awry for the British folk pop act when — after performing hours earlier at Centennial Park – singer Ben Lovett took to the lounge’s karaoke stage and began singing the songs he should be tired of already.

His bandmates whipped out their cellphones and began shooting video, which is pretty much a no-no in any strip club I have woken up in.

The mood really turned sour when the DJ turned down the music and told everyone to put their phones away. This allegedly …

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Yahoo shuts down unwanted kids forums

Nicole Eason likes being a mom because it makes her feel important. (Reuters photo)

Nicole Eason likes being a mom because it makes her feel important. (Reuters photo)

As a casual observer of other people’s children, I’ve often pondered why sane moms and dads don’t give the more obnoxious youngsters away.

I figured most parents stick with it because they love their kids and remember their own childhood, which probably included some familial torment.

Also, I assumed, it would be a major legal hassle to dump Junior (and his creepy taxidermy hobby) off on someone else.

I was wrong.

It turns out you can give someone “power of attorney” and they can pretty much take Junior off your hands for good.

“Underground” online forums make it easy.

Or it was easy until Reuters published an article about it. Now Yahoo and Facebook have shut down multiple forums where disgruntled and prospective parents swapped children like used cars, only without having to get the government involved.

The Reuters article is frightening and shows how little oversight there is on “re-homing …

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Blind Iowans eligible for gun permits

Blind Iowa resident Michael Barber examines a gun with his hands at a Bass Pro Shop. 'When you shoot a gun, you take it out and point and shoot, and I don't necessarily think eyesight is necessary,' he said. (Andrea Melendez/Des Moines Register

Blind Iowa resident Michael Barber examines a gun with his hands at a Bass Pro Shop. 'When you shoot a gun, you take it out and point and shoot, and I don't necessarily think eyesight is necessary,' he said. (Andrea Melendez/Des Moines Register

Justice is blind, like some folks getting weapon carry permits in Iowa.

The laws in the corn-fed state are such that you can’t drive if you are blind, but you can tote a .45 to Wal-Mart, according to the Des Moines Register.

Lots of people don’t find it that unusual.

Cedar County Sheriff Warren Wethington, who has a blind daughter, demonstrated to the Iowa newspaper how he trains the blind to shoot guns.

Though it is not specified, I presume “shooting at noises” is part of the training.

“It seems a little strange, but the way the law reads we can’t deny them (a permit) just based on [not being able to see what they are shooting at],” said Jana Abens, a spokesperson for the Polk County sheriff’s office.

The National Federation of the …

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