O.J. Simpson caught stealing prison cookies

Life's tougher than the 1973 NFL schedule. (Getty Images)

Life's tougher than the 1973 NFL schedule. (Getty Images)

Prison life ain’t sweet. But prison cookies?

Even a man tough enough to rush for 2,000 yards in a 14-game season could not resist their delectable allure.

O.J. Simpson, whom you may recall from a little trial in the last century, has been caught stealing from the prison cookie jar, reports the Daily Mail.

The 66-year-old Simpson, who once bypassed NFL linebackers like they were fat prison guards, was unable to sneak by lunchroom sentries at the Nevada lockup he currently calls home.

According to the article, guards noticed turgid inmate #32 had something under his clothes as he returned to his cell. Upon inspection, the heist was exposed, cookies tumbled to the floor and Simpson’s new teammates laughed at him.

“O.J. just stood there with a goofy grin on his face as the guard kept digging inside his shirt and throwing the cookies on the floor,” said an anonymous source in The National Enquirer, so who knows if this actually happened.

Simpson, who now suffers severe diabetes, was let go with just a warning. He continues to serve a 33-year-sentence for robbery, but will likely be released on parole in 2017 or shortly thereafter … if he can stop his thieving ways.

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43 comments Add your comment


September 26th, 2013
8:09 am

Wow. That was news.


September 26th, 2013
8:11 am

free OJ! the man framed by the system and should be let out of jail right now.


September 26th, 2013
8:18 am

O.J.'s Lawyer

September 26th, 2013
8:41 am

Juice hold tight, I’ll bring tollhouse cookies your way! Oh and I spoke to the racist judge and she admitted you were framed.


September 26th, 2013
8:44 am

So that would somewhat explain the current portly O.J.


September 26th, 2013
8:45 am

Free oj so he can slit someone else’s throat, beat it in court, and then be stupid enough to try and strong arm some old memorabilia from a nobody ebay dealer. oj is exactly where he needs to be and he is also proof that Karma can be an ugly vengeful mistress.


September 26th, 2013
8:53 am

OJ is the ONLY Black MAN in AMERICA! who was sent to PRISON for stealing his own STUFF!

Only in AMERICA!



September 26th, 2013
8:54 am

keep this clown in jail. He knows he murdered those people. Claims to be tracking the mystery killer at a florida golf course. And those stupid jurors could not convict charles manson, they are so dumb. Jury of his peers? How about a jury of smart people?


September 26th, 2013
9:03 am

George…you’re reaching. That is all.


September 26th, 2013
9:12 am

That explains how he’s living so large in the cooler.


September 26th, 2013
9:13 am

I say let’s let him eat all the cookies he wants until his diabetes kills him and we are done with his sorry butt forever.

WAR EAGLE: I understand your frustration but that first jury wasn’t dumb. They were a jury of his peers and they had no intention of convicting him from the very first moment the trial started no matter how incriminating the evidence was. I am sure that those jurors are still just so, so proud of themselves for “keeping it real”.


September 26th, 2013
9:19 am

Murder-guilty, armed robbery and burglary-guilty, stealing cookies in prison-guilty, SEE THE PATTERN?? Once a criminal, always a criminal. WISE UP FOLKS!!


September 26th, 2013
9:27 am

Blacks are angry that OJ is in prison because they want to be able to kill whites without consequences.

Jack P

September 26th, 2013
9:40 am

To me that is a good reason to add 20 more years w/o parole to his prison sentence.


September 26th, 2013
9:56 am

O.J. still thinks he has the right to do whatever he wants. Nothing has changed with him.

Totally Real Person -- Totally!

September 26th, 2013
10:05 am

OMG people get real!! George pulled this story from the National Enquirer!?!!!??!!

Exactly how REAL could it be? I mean who do they, the enquirer, have on the inside taking note of this stuff anyway? Nelly Blye?

You guys are tooo easy — I bet your phone numbers are on bathroom walls!!


September 26th, 2013
10:11 am

Since it was in prison, are we sure OJ was only caught “stealing” cookies, as opposed to TOSSING them?


September 26th, 2013
10:13 am

Am I getting salad confused with cookies?


September 26th, 2013
10:27 am

Totally Real@10:05 – How did you know?!!!!


September 26th, 2013
10:28 am

O.J. remember you have a spot in HELL waiting for your murdering a$$, and your race baiting lowlife lawyer johnny cochran is already there waiting for you,


September 26th, 2013
10:36 am

oj fatter than ever–he need to lay off the desserts and start working out—when he get out of jail he’ll need some hot ladies to take care of his stuff


September 26th, 2013
11:00 am

Once OJ gets out, I’m sure he’ll resume the real search for the killers of Ron and Nicole. He won’t have to look too far. Just look in the mirror big guy.


September 26th, 2013
11:05 am

OJ is a worthless POS. He got away with murder…hopefully he will serve a long time and get old and fat. No one cares about this loser anymore.


September 26th, 2013
11:05 am


The hidden agenda

September 26th, 2013
11:31 am

The OJ story is too easy. The flesh eating drug story is far more important.

This is a direct result of the failed war on drugs. Yes, the GOVERNMENT is partially if not completely to blame for this.

People want to get high. Man has been altering his consciousness from the beginning of the species. Plants everywhere are used for this purpose. In most cultures they were considered sacramental and used for religious purposes. There was abuse for sure, but generally this was addressed through cultural pressures, not political involvement and prison. Only when government got involved did real problems ensue. If these folks were able to legally purchase whatever they wished to inject (or better, if pure heroin were available to snort or smoke), this would not be a prevalent problem. People who want to get high will use whatever is available, especially if they can’t get what they actually want.

The rash of “huffing”, the creation of “designer drugs” like Extasy and others, this garbage, etc. is all the result of safer alternatives (nobody has ever overdosed on marijuana) being illegal and unavailable.

End the failed war on drugs and return sanity to the situation. Utopia is not on the table. The prohibitionists clearly can’t deliver it and the legalization folks aren’t promising it. But for sure a legalized market will be far safer and will be filled with far more freedom than the current police state approach.


September 26th, 2013
11:37 am

Wow, so a thief, a robber, and a murderer.


September 26th, 2013
11:43 am

You guys should leave OJ alone. He might have beaten the murder charge, but is in prison now. Guess you call it KARMA. And let him get fat eating cookies if he wants to. Probably only thrill he gets nowadays…


September 26th, 2013
12:00 pm

There is nothing cute about this man. He killed two innocent people.


September 26th, 2013
12:02 pm

So now the AJC gets its “creditable” news from The National Enquirer.


September 26th, 2013
12:43 pm

OJ shouldn’t have never been arrested, they wanted to vendicate the deaths of his trashy wife and her gay drug supplier.

Don't Tread

September 26th, 2013
12:57 pm

“vendicate” ? Is that when you get 2 products from the vending machine because one was partially hanging off the coil?

I say revoke the parole provision because he can’t obey the rules – even in prison. If not, at least post a sniper near the prison entrance when he comes walking out. Problem solved.


September 26th, 2013
1:09 pm

OJ is not very bright.


September 26th, 2013
1:57 pm

O.J and George Zimmerman …Birds of a FEATHER!

OJ was YOUR BOY First! You ALL LOVED HIM…..Soooo Much! LOL! rofl!

Now you want to send him return to SENDER….No Thank-YOU!

All Purchases are FINAL….this one is YOURS!


dick wiskey

September 26th, 2013
1:58 pm

should give him a long rope and a room with a high ceiling


September 26th, 2013
2:15 pm

dick wiskey @ 1:58 pm – As Long as George Zimmerman is First….But we all KNOW that Will Never HAPPEN!

Your crowd prefers People Of Color only!

Your History of such HEINOUS ACTS says SO!


September 26th, 2013
3:18 pm

If the chocolate chips don’t fit (under my shirt), then you must acquit- Johnny “free the cookie monster” Cochran


September 26th, 2013
3:22 pm

Everyone knows his verdict was payback for the multiple whites that got off on their murder charges previous to his crime.

But guess what? God doesn’t see color and all will have to atone including the jurors that let him off knowing full well he committed the act.

But, you will not be judged if you are in concert with the man upstairs and he knows that you are.
Those jurors out in LA still have time to earn their salvation just like the rest of us.


September 26th, 2013
4:26 pm

3d @ 3:22 pm – The SCORE is TIED right NOW! I wonder which MURDERER will be SET FREE


Surely ONE or MORE will step Up to BAT…very Soon!

When will WE LEARN is what I want to know?

Mayor Kassim Reed

September 26th, 2013
8:22 pm

Roll D@MN TIDE!!!


September 27th, 2013
11:56 am

These comments hurt my soul. Who seriously, in 2013, still thinks that O.J. is innocent? C’mon. He is a rich guy who got away with murder. Everyone knows that by now. His race has nothing to do with it.

dick whiskey

September 27th, 2013
12:19 pm

Bernie31,you damn right!


October 2nd, 2013
11:43 am

Black or white, he should be in jail for life for murdering his ex-wife and her friend.


October 2nd, 2013
12:52 pm

The law states “let the evidence guide you.” If you have never been on a jury, then you don’t know what it is like, the stupids rules you have to follow. There wasn’t enough evidence to prove he killed his wife and her lover! The law is tricky, I feel he had something to do with it! ZIMMERMAN killed an innocent teen, but he got off…two wrongs don’t make it right! Karma is a mother, O.J. got his, can’t wait for Zimmerman to get his…he is CONTINUOUSLY in the news!