Football ticket, step-daughter, up for grabs

Someone tell stepdad Jessica can probably find a date by herself.

Someone tell stepdad Jessica can probably find a date by herself.

It’s tough being a Tennessee football fan: your team stinks, the last decent coach volunteered to move to California and, let’s face it — orange ain’t the best color unless you’re trying to not get hit by cars.

Tennessee morale is so low one father is offering a free game ticket to a man who will date his step-daughter.

The good news? The step-daughter, Jessica, is not bad looking and would probably have some entertaining stories about her fumbling step-dad.

The bad news? Jessica thinks this is a good idea and you have to go to The Swamp this Saturday and watch the Volunteers take on the Gators.

The Craigslist ad posted Monday night has been pulled but Fox Sports’ Sam Gardner managed to capture it in all its glory.

The man behind the marketing magic is Gary Yates, a Tennessee fan living in Denver who paid $150 for the ticket. Yates said in the ad that he was making the ticket — and Jessica — available because another man “backed out” of the date.

The ticket winner will be an “attractive, professional, single well-educated gentleman, with a good sense of humor” not threatened by intelligent women.

Despite the odds of that combo existing in Tennessee, Yates said his inbox was flooded like the Volunteer’s backfield on a fourth and short yardage situation. Jessica is allegedly mulling her options like a semi-successful Volunteers coach looking for a good coaching job.

The ticket is not really free. The winner owes Jessica a “modest dinner, drinks and delightful conversation with her before or after the game.”

My advice? Feed her before and after the game like they do most mountain gals to keep ‘em from getting grumpy.

Here’s more delightful news I ran across in my morning sprint across the Internet:

50 comments Add your comment

Mr. Obvious

September 19th, 2013
8:01 am

Gentleman, Beware!

As a Tennessee Volunteer running back is with the football in his hands, this young lady is likely a “carrier,” too.

LydiasDad

September 19th, 2013
8:04 am

Jesus, that’s dangerous for her.

Name (required)

September 19th, 2013
8:11 am

Don’t expect her to put out if you’re not at least a 1st cousin.

Seth

September 19th, 2013
8:15 am

The initial $150 investment, plus “modest dinner, drinks and delightful conversation with her before or after the game,” would be well worth it if she climbs my ROCKY TOP while still wearing those high heels.

Next to this hot young lady, the only person who would look better wearing the proud ‘Federal Prison Orange’ color of the University of Tennessee is President 0bama…

…while also Movin’ the Chains…

Rocky Top!

v

September 19th, 2013
8:28 am

They both will fall asleep during the game watching UF’s offense.

noahvale

September 19th, 2013
8:34 am

@ George Mathis – snarky little bytch, aren’t cha?

abbysenia

September 19th, 2013
8:35 am

LOL.@..Mountain gals!

Angela

September 19th, 2013
8:35 am

That posted photo of the step-daughter in those Bend-Me-Over-a-Table-Right-Now heels and black dress was clearly taken in a motel room.

Is she actually a hooker? A flight attendant? She certainly looks Professional.

They say football is a game of inches. She’ll make sure you boys get in her end zone once she gets you in a looooong-yardage situation.

Proofreader Peter

September 19th, 2013
8:54 am

Despite the football enticement, the ad didn’t mention anything about Jessica’s ball handling ability.

BenDaho

September 19th, 2013
8:57 am

Mount and Do!!

Pitbull

September 19th, 2013
9:02 am

I would go for two.

joe

September 19th, 2013
9:03 am

How many bazzackwards cliches can you pen in one blog post? Jeez, can’t you come up with some humor other than regurgitating Tennessee stereotypes? Thought you were better than that, but apparently not. Remember, Deliverance was filmed in Georgia, home of rednecks and hillbillies.

Hey George, you gotta purty mouth boy!

Grama Jan

September 19th, 2013
9:11 am

Anyone else notice that the comments immediately turned to having sex, how the young woman may or may not have skills in fondling a man’s testicles, then deteriorated to the “purty mouth” comment to the author, intimating not so subtly that he gives oral sex to other men?
And we wonder why other countries think Americans are so damn immature. doh!

Mayor Kassim Reed

September 19th, 2013
9:14 am

Did the ad say anything about her dating a black brutha???

BenDaho

September 19th, 2013
9:25 am

I will make her go BOOM!!

Maude

September 19th, 2013
9:38 am

There is so much wrong with this I can’t even comment. I realy feel sorry for the girl. Where is the mother?

DeezNuts

September 19th, 2013
9:46 am

George, I know you didn’t just say that Lame Kiffen was the, “the last decent coach volunteered to move to California.” That guy couldn’t coach his way out of a paper sack. Phil Fulmer was the last decent coach at Tennessee. By the way, UT is gonna beat UF this weekend. Don’t be fooled, Oregon is good, Florida is not.

Also, I like making UT jokes as much as the next guy, but that seems like a good deal to me. She’s attractive and you get to go to the game on the step-father’s dime, what’s there to lose?

BenDaho

September 19th, 2013
9:47 am

Maude

September 19th, 2013
9:38 am
There is so much wrong with this I can’t even comment. I realy feel sorry for the girl. Where is the mother?

Probably at an attorney’s office filing for a divorce. Step dad is going to catch he!! if something happens to the young lady. Just sayin’.

harold

September 19th, 2013
9:53 am

THE VOL FAN BASE IS ALL JACKED UP WITH THE BUTCH JONES HIRE. EVERYONE KNOWS HE INHERITED A MESS FROM DOOLEY. PEYTON MANNING SAYS WE HAVE THE RIGHT GUY AND BUTCH IS NUMBER TWO IN THE COUNTRY IN RECRUITING.
VOL FANS WILL BE PATIENT WITH BUTCH AS REBUILDS THE VOLS INTO A POWERHOUSE. THAT IS WHY PEYTON MANNING ANF THE MINISTER OF DEFENSE (REGGIE WHITE) CHOSE TENNESSEE. THE VOLS WILL BE BACK UNDER THIS DUDE.

WHAT YOU SAW ON OREGON IS THE EXACT MODEL BUTCH WILL HAVE AT TENNESSEE. YOU CAN PLAY WHERE PEYTON MANNING AND ERIC BERRY PLAYED IN FRONT OF A TENTH OF A MILLION PEOPLE A WEEK. A GREAT COLLEGE TOWN. GREAT INDOOR NEW PRACTICE FACILITY. LARGEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL STADIUM IN THE SEC AFTER THAT QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLAR FACELIFT. AND IF YOU CAN PLAY AND NOT SIT ON THE BENCH.

MARK MY MY WORD….THE VOLS WILL BE BACK UNDER BUTCH JONES. AND EVERY PROGRAM HAS DERELICTS LIKE THIS DAD AND WRITER THAT DOESN’T HAVE A CLUE. NEITHER WILL STOP THE BUTCH JONES EFFECT AS REBUILDS TENNESSEE “BRICK-BY-BRICK!”

DawginLex

September 19th, 2013
9:58 am

You seriously can’t make this stuff up

DawginLex

September 19th, 2013
10:01 am

Harold is still drunk and using all caps I see.

Still waiting on Tennessee to hire a coach that can win

You guaranteed it with Kiffin, Dooley and now Jones.

UT is a massive dumpster fire. They will go 5-7 this year and throw Butch under the tractor just like all the other coaches.

That’s what they get for running Fulmer away.

Football fan

September 19th, 2013
10:07 am

I can’t believe this guy thinks Lane Kiffin was a great coach for Tennessee, especially the way he did Tennessee, that’s what got them investigated by NCAA.

Football fan

September 19th, 2013
10:12 am

I wouldn’t go as far to say Fulmer was a good coach, he turned against a SEC team which was out of spite because he couldn’t win against them everytime he played them, so who would want a coach that was so sneaky and back stabbing and wouldn’t even show up in Alabama because he was a coward. Fulmer stole his job by backstabbing Majors and he’s best off not coaching at UT anymore.

Left Behind

September 19th, 2013
10:21 am

So amusing to see a bunch of people from Georgia, which is the most rednecked, ignorant, backwards state there is anywhere, trying to make fun of somebody. Georgia sucks, but not as much as Georgians.

Dewayne

September 19th, 2013
10:41 am

I couldn’t read past where you actually called Lane Kiffin ‘decent.’ Loss of credibility there.

Thomas

September 19th, 2013
10:45 am

That is interesting cause UT used to dress their women out well over 250lbs for gameday.

Bill Clinton's Love Child

September 19th, 2013
11:01 am

Just to clarify for joe at 9:03. “Deliverance” was filmed in Georgia because the Hollywood producers were uncomfortable going elsewhere in Appalachia.

With respect to Step Dad’s offer, this like other Craigslist ads, seems too good to be true and it probably is. Responding will only leave you bloody, broke, and toothless.

Trisha Doherty

September 19th, 2013
12:10 pm

If it was a UGA ticket you would have to bring enough weed for the entire team

I dropped my fried twinkie

September 19th, 2013
12:22 pm

Is this not PROSTITUTION?
Not SEXUAL Prostitution but prostitution nonetheless?

Cruiser

September 19th, 2013
12:23 pm

You Georgia Rednecks are pathetic!!!

Bumper

September 19th, 2013
12:27 pm

“Florida man, 54, arrested for forcing exorcism on 80-year-old girlfriend”

This FL Gator from one of the other links above apparently is in need of a new girlfriend and might be just the ticket for Jessica!

Mayor Kassim Reed

September 19th, 2013
1:24 pm

I have a Black neck, therefore couldn’t possibly be a redneck, and its called “neck” for short you silly crackas!

destin dawg

September 19th, 2013
1:48 pm

beached whales in Destin , Fl…….. no ????? those are women on vacation from …. Tennessee !!!

Rod

September 19th, 2013
1:51 pm

I dropped my fried twinkie – learn the meaning of the word prostitution. This is not it. The s e x part is required.

Class of '98

September 19th, 2013
3:29 pm

“Well educated” should be hyphenated.

Ironic.

Viper

September 19th, 2013
3:58 pm

You Georgia folks are talking about the mess at Tennessee. It seems it was a guy from
Georgia name DOOLEY that left the mess!!!!!

Whiskey Breath

September 19th, 2013
4:01 pm

Gee, not sure about Dad protecting Jessica. And George, you are no gentleman.
I sure hope some creep doesn’t get her. Shame on Dad and you too, George.
Too bad it isn’t your daughter he is pimping out.

Mayor Kassim Reed

September 19th, 2013
4:09 pm

I bet she has Herpies, but we bruthas don’t do that anyways.

Viper, You Are An Idiot

September 19th, 2013
6:34 pm

Kiffin, Dooley, Pearl, etc…Tennessee’s mess rests largely with Mike Hamilton. Of course it doesn’t help that Tennessee is, well, Tennessee. Enjoy.

Chuck Uuga

September 19th, 2013
8:59 pm

Wow, wish I was still 25-33! Sign me up!

HOUNDDOG

September 20th, 2013
2:02 am

@GEORGE MATHIS, YOU WISH YOU COULD GET A WHITE MOUNTAIN GAL…SHUT UP AND GO TO THE HOOD WITH YOUR GAL FOR SOME CHITTLINGS OR GATOR A$$! BUTCH JONES WILL BRING THE ORANGE BACK AND WIN A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE YOUR UGLY GAL!!! GO VOLS!

BenDaho

September 20th, 2013
6:28 am

HOUNDDOG

September 20th, 2013
2:02 am
@GEORGE MATHIS, YOU WISH YOU COULD GET A WHITE MOUNTAIN GAL…SHUT UP AND GO TO THE HOOD WITH YOUR GAL FOR SOME CHITTLINGS OR GATOR A$$! BUTCH JONES WILL BRING THE ORANGE BACK AND WIN A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE YOUR UGLY GAL!!! GO VOLS!

And this just in: Oregon scored on the Vols again.
Bwaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa mediocre @$$ football team!!

[...] Craigslist ad posted Monday has been pulled but Fox Sports managed to find it first. The man behind it is Gary Yates, a Vols [...]

[...] Craigslist ad posted Monday has been pulled but Fox Sports managed to find it first. The man behind it is Gary Yates, a Vols [...]

2daydiet

September 24th, 2013
7:18 pm

Football ticket, step-daughter, up for grabs | News To Me with George Mathis
2daydiet http://meizitangslim.seesaa.net/article/375545063.html

lida daidaihua

September 24th, 2013
8:55 pm

Football ticket, step-daughter, up for grabs | News To Me with George Mathis
lida daidaihua http://www.bste2daydiet.com

super slim

September 24th, 2013
9:06 pm

Football ticket, step-daughter, up for grabs » Comment Page 1 | News To Me with George Mathis
super slim http://www.2dayslim.info

lose weight

September 24th, 2013
10:06 pm

Football ticket, step-daughter, up for grabs » Comment Page 2 | News To Me with George Mathis
lose weight http://zixiutangbeepollen.buyelectronicuk.com/2013/09/23/this-can-be-the-technique-i-like-to-recommend-most-of-the-time/

reduce weight

September 24th, 2013
10:08 pm

lose weight

September 24th, 2013
10:18 pm

Football ticket, step-daughter, up for grabs » Comment Page 1 | News To Me with George Mathis
lose weight http://nnorcyons.pagelines.me/2013/09/23/only-now-the-parts-are-reasonable/