There’s no explanation for some things: The speed of the expanding universe, dark energy, dark matter and why people in Texas are so happy.
I’ve been to Dallas and the only good thing I can say about it is that it’s not Houston.
Unfortunately for the believability of a recent survey, those two Texas monstrosities are considered the “Happiest” two cities in the U.S.
As a nation, we are clearly doomed.
Atlanta is tied for 3rd with the cesspool known as Philadelphia. Even though we tied Philly, and ‘A’ comes before ‘P’ in this little thing called the “alphabet,” the press release writer chose to list us 4th, which makes about as much sense as a rubber crutch.
The problem with surveys is almost everyone lies, especially about how happy they are about stuff. Just a few minutes ago, for example, I said I would be happy to write a “Happiest Cities” blog entry.
The Harris Poll “Happiness Index” only ranks the 10 biggest metropolitan areas, so by being listed 4th, Atlanta is an also-ran.
The online poll, like all others, is flawed, but it alleges 33% of Americans are “very happy.”
The survey says “many factors may play into Americans’ happiness, including age, gender and race/ethnicity.”
Great. Most Americans can’t change anything about those “factors.”
I think happiness has more to do with relationships, hobbies, work and the ability to not get caught doing certain things. Those are things people CAN control.
Anyway, here’s the list of happiest cities and why I think people living there should be more miserable:
Dallas (38 percent are very happy): Tony Romo
Houston (36 percent): Mexico
Philadelphia (34 percent): Baseball
Atlanta (34 percent): Post-season baseball
Los Angeles (33 percent): Earthquakes, mudslides, wildfires, smog, traffic, taxes, bankruptcy
New York (33 percent): Weiner, Spitzer — which sounds more like a German dish than shamed politicians
Washington D.C. (33 percent): More politicians
Chicago (32 percent): Gunfire
Boston (31 percent): Beans and their effect on human physiology
San Francisco (28 percent): Hills
Those with brains may have noticed that despite being tied for third, Atlanta is only 1 percent happier than the alleged average American.
San Fran residents are really miserable. Maybe the online survey was spammed by Jeff Francoeur’s last batting coach?
Are you happy? Tell us why, but don’t feel like you have to make stuff up.
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