Roadkill: More Americans running over dinner

A bad place to play possum. (Image from Wikipedia)

A bad place to play possum. (Image from Wikipedia)

Here’s a headline that will resonate with any motorist that has flattened a ‘possum while hankering for some home cooking: “Roadkill Gains Traction as a Home Menu Item.”

The news is brought to us by The New York Times, which enjoys highlighting the refinements of rural culture for city dwellers.

In Montana,  a state chock full of delicious woodland creatures, the popularity of dining upon animals hunted by motorized vehicles has grown to such an extent that lawmakers have legalized hauling home any carcass found on the road.

The best part of the new law? You don’t have to be the one that ruins the front end of your pickup to claim the free meat.

Montana is a little late to the game however. Georgians have been legally toting home dead varmits since 2010.

The New York Times, whose recent website outage forced journalists to do their own reporting, is kind enough to point out that “eating roadkill has … been mythologized in American cultural lore [since] … John McPhee’s 1973 essay ‘Travels In Georgia.’”

I must admit I’d not read that one. Probably because the essay appeared in The New Yorker and I was too busy laughing at the cartoons to read articles. If you do read it, you will notice that the good people of Laurens County elected a sheriff that couldn’t shoot a dying turtle from a distance of 12 inches until his third try, but at least he was nice to people that don’t “have accents.”

A deer struck by a car tastes just like a deer shot with a rifle, experts say, as long as you don’t eat the meat with plastic bits of Honda in it.

The Car grill to BBQ grill technique of hunting and gathering  is now legal in “more than a dozen” states, including some that don’t really enforce that whole “marrying your cousin is bad thing.”

So, if you happen to clip a fawn while traversing the wilds of Forsyth County, remember pretty much everyone likes “Bambi Burgers” until you tell them where you went shopping.

Here’s a few more links you can post on Facebook and pretend you found:

19 comments Add your comment

Elvis Prez

August 16th, 2013
8:09 am

I ran over a clown once. Had to throw him away because he tasted funny.

Samantha

August 16th, 2013
8:11 am

This is cruel and disgusting. You really should value life of the wild animals. You have absolutely no idea what was wrong with the roadkill and you bring it home, clean it out, and cook it? Just nasty…

Samantha

August 16th, 2013
8:13 am

LuLu Hogg you are an ignorant trailor trash person. I bet you don’t have all of your front teeth do you? hahahahahahaha! Go back to your trailor you piece of trash!

Samantha

August 16th, 2013
8:18 am

I poo and pee on myself, but yea road kill is disgusting. Here in the ghetto, road kill could be family. I report all crimes using the phone given to me by my savior Obama god.

Samantha

August 16th, 2013
8:20 am

We have trailers here in the ghetto as well. That makes me trailer trash as well. I only eat road kill provided by government food kitchens.

America Is Hurting

August 16th, 2013
8:22 am

This Obama “recovery” has forced many Americans to take drastic measures in order to survive.

@@

August 16th, 2013
8:33 am

Is an armadillo skinned, peeled, or scaled?

Funny stuff, George.

lawyerdaggett

August 16th, 2013
8:59 am

So as not to make southerners look bad, I believe it’s spelled “varmints,” not “varmits.” I believe “varmits” is the Beverly Hillbillies version.

lawyerdaggett

August 16th, 2013
9:00 am

And, Benna. Get a sense of humor. Must everything be converted into a political statement?

George Mathis

August 16th, 2013
9:11 am

Please try to stay on topic. Roadkill laws have nothing to do with presidential politics.

david c

August 16th, 2013
9:19 am

I really wanted to share this article, but I couldn’t in good faith subject my friends to the ignorance of the AJC commenters.

Chip

August 16th, 2013
9:46 am

So, New Yorkers are making fun of southerners again. Hmmmm…. would these be the same New Yorkers who voted to be ruled by an insane fascist nanny mayor who controls every aspect of their lives, including (trying to) control how much soda they can drink?

interesting.

LydiasDad

August 16th, 2013
10:05 am

Haha. George asking posters to “stay on topic” is like asking rappers to remove the “n” word. Ain’t gonna happen.

Crazy Grocer

August 16th, 2013
10:15 am

It seems the sell of dead racoons have increased in the past year in South Georgia. The going rate for a frozen undressed racoon is running at $15.00 per carcass. Cannot be stored in a USDA approved retail establishment.

Birds With Large Talons

August 16th, 2013
10:25 am

Tricks to ensure “fresh” roadkill: 1) Identify stretch of subject road (preferably a curvy, tree-lined country road) 2) Drive subject road and mark existing roadkill by circling with spray paint (just don’t get caught by The Fuzz!!!) 3) Travel back down subject road after some time has passed (generally early the morning after marking existing road kill) 4) Pickup the critters that aren’t circled with spray paint (these are the ones that were killed overnight!) 5) Promptly cool, clean/skin, cook to your likin’ and enjoy!!! Alternativley you could just go to the meat counter at Publix, Kroger, Piggly-Wiggly, etc. My next topic will be how to catch a whole mess of ‘possums at one time for those interested (live ones not roadkill!)

Don't Tread

August 16th, 2013
10:53 am

This is just gross…

And yes, “varmit” is a little too close to “vomit”.

PEG

August 16th, 2013
11:33 am

An armadillo should be served on the half shell with a kudzu side salad.

Fresh Road Kill is good

August 16th, 2013
11:51 am

I hit a deer in college and the friend who picked me up got the deer and had him processed, it was just as good as any other deer I have had. The key is getting a recently hit deer not one that has been baking in the heat for a few days people.

Dusty2

August 16th, 2013
12:11 pm

awww There goes public my secret ingredients for “Pulled possum and ‘Taters”..

Where’s Paula Dean when you need her? I smell roadkill discrimination here!