How surgeons used to be able to find wives in Atlanta. (AJC photo)
Finding that special someone can’t be that hard. Heck, I met one lady that had averaged one wealthy husband per decade for 60 years.
Still, some have trouble in the romance department. Many turn to dating websites or trolling their Facebook friends’ friends lists. There’s nothing wrong with that, but some people take it too far — multiple dating website accounts, joining more than one gym, visiting various houses of worship to check out the ladies, asking every co-worker if they have a sister, etc.
I’d like to formally apologize for acting like that before I got married to Lil’ Miss Awesome.
But one surgeon who allegedly attended Emory University (as well as Dartmouth, Columbia, Harvard and NYU) is accused of sending a mass email in his search for the ideal wife. Those that help him can even get free surgical procedures!
Social media and marketing expert Marc Ensign outs the lonely doctor in a blog post titled “The worst ‘Nice meeting you’ email you will ever read.”
Ensign says he only met the man, whom he does not name, briefly during a business networking event. A day after the event, he and dozens of others allegedly got an email asking for help in finding a wife.
Ensign says the letter is an extreme example of “Me Marketing” gone horribly wrong.
First, let’s go over what kind of woman the good doc says he is looking for in his email. (Note: Items with bullets are exact quotes.)
- Age 27-35 (ideally 28-34)
- No kids, wants kids in the next 1-2 years
- College graduate, doesn’t have to be a great school, but needs to have finished the degree
- Skinny (i.e. dress size 0-2, if you don’t know what that means (many men don’t) it means very skinny)
- Caucasian (not black, not Hispanic, not Asian)
- Healthy lifestyle (defined as no smoking, no drugs, good diet, no hard drinking)
The following are not strict requirements, but he does prefer these in his ladies.
- Christian (any denomination is fine, I’m Catholic but not very religious, prefer any religion over none, must be religiously tolerant, will not be compatible with someone who thinks everyone else is damned)
- Graduate degree or very good undergraduate school (more compatible since I went to 3 Ivy League schools i.e. Dartmouth, Columbia & Harvard, as well as Emory and my MBA from NYU)
- Spent significant time in another country other than the US (either born somewhere else or lived out of the US for a total of a 6 months or more, not on a vacation, doing something like school or work)
- Spent significant time (>1 yr) living in a city of 1 million or more (so can live in NYC if moves here)
- Likes animals and pets, particularly dogs (because I plan to have a dog for the rest of my life)
The following qualities, he admits, are more subjective, but still needed.
- Attractive (like an 8 out of the 1-10 scale, 9-10 is actually bad as it comes with a lot of downside)
- Nice, normal, sweet, kind, altruistic, selfless, not entitled, bitchy, materialistic, selfish, self-centered
- Stylish, fashionable, polished, confident but not vain, superficial, overly concerned about looks
- Hard-working, real career, full-time job (unless in graduate school), achievement-oriented
- Highly functional Type B (not a Type A because too similar, not a Type B who can’t get stuff done)
- Easy-going, sense of humor, doesn’t take life or things too seriously, gets along well with everyone
- Good person, follows the Golden Rule, nice and kind to others, never does bad things because of values
- Good family, good role models, ideally good nuclear family so can emulate good patterns of behavior
Want to help? Probably not, but if you need LASEK surgery in just one eye keep reading.
The surgeon requests that “parameters and pictures of the potential setup” be sent via email so he can let you know if he’s interested in the woman you are pimping.
If he chooses to date the woman you can expect the following “thank you gifts.”
- first date set up: $100 cash
- second date (with either same person, indicating a better match, or a 2nd person): +$200 or free latisse worth $300
- third date (again can be w same person): + $300 or free botox worth $500
- 4th date (w same or diff person): + $400 or free Juvederm injections worth $900
- 5th date (same conditions): + 500 cash or 1 eye free LASEK worth $2000:)
About the only nice thing I can say about this guy is that he’s a dog lover.