Surgeon will work free for help finding wife

How surgeons used to find wives in Atlanta. (AJC photo)

How surgeons used to be able to find wives in Atlanta. (AJC photo)

Finding that special someone can’t be that hard. Heck, I met one lady that had averaged one wealthy husband per decade for 60 years.

Still, some have trouble in the romance department. Many turn to dating websites or trolling their Facebook friends’ friends lists. There’s nothing wrong with that, but some people take it too far — multiple dating website accounts, joining more than one gym, visiting various houses of worship to check out the ladies, asking every co-worker if they have a sister, etc.

I’d like to formally apologize for acting like that before I got married to Lil’ Miss Awesome.

But one surgeon who allegedly attended Emory University (as well as Dartmouth, Columbia, Harvard and NYU) is accused of sending a mass email in his search for the ideal wife. Those that help him can even get free surgical procedures!

Social media and marketing expert Marc Ensign outs the lonely doctor in a blog post titled The worst ‘Nice meeting you’ email you will ever read.

Ensign says he only met the man, whom he does not name, briefly during a business networking event. A day after the event, he and dozens of others allegedly got an email asking for help in finding a wife.

Ensign says the letter is an extreme example of “Me Marketing” gone horribly wrong.

First, let’s go over what kind of woman the good doc says he is looking for in his email. (Note: Items with bullets are exact quotes.)

  • Age 27-35 (ideally 28-34)
  • No kids, wants kids in the next 1-2 years
  • College graduate, doesn’t have to be a great school, but needs to have finished the degree
  • Skinny (i.e. dress size 0-2, if you don’t know what that means (many men don’t) it means very skinny)
  • Caucasian (not black, not Hispanic, not Asian)
  • Healthy lifestyle (defined as no smoking, no drugs, good diet, no hard drinking)

The following are not strict requirements, but he does prefer these in his ladies.

  • Christian (any denomination is fine, I’m Catholic but not very religious, prefer any religion over none, must be religiously tolerant, will not be compatible with someone who thinks everyone else is damned)
  • Graduate degree or very good undergraduate school (more compatible since I went to 3 Ivy League schools i.e. Dartmouth, Columbia & Harvard, as well as Emory and my MBA from NYU)
  • Spent significant time in another country other than the US (either born somewhere else or lived out of the US for a total of a 6 months or more, not on a vacation, doing something like school or work)
  • Spent significant time (>1 yr) living in a city of 1 million or more (so can live in NYC if moves here)
  • Likes animals and pets, particularly dogs (because I plan to have a dog for the rest of my life)

The following qualities, he admits, are more subjective, but still needed.

  • Attractive (like an 8 out of the 1-10 scale, 9-10 is actually bad as it comes with a lot of downside)
  • Nice, normal, sweet, kind, altruistic, selfless, not entitled, bitchy, materialistic, selfish, self-centered
  • Stylish, fashionable, polished, confident but not vain, superficial, overly concerned about looks
  • Hard-working, real career, full-time job (unless in graduate school), achievement-oriented
  • Highly functional Type B (not a Type A because too similar, not a Type B who can’t get stuff done)
  • Easy-going, sense of humor, doesn’t take life or things too seriously, gets along well with everyone
  • Good person, follows the Golden Rule, nice and kind to others, never does bad things because of values
  • Good family, good role models, ideally good nuclear family so can emulate good patterns of behavior

Want to help? Probably not, but if you need LASEK surgery in just one eye keep reading.

The surgeon requests that “parameters and pictures of the potential setup” be sent via email so he can let you know if he’s interested in the woman you are pimping.

If he chooses to date the woman you can expect the following “thank you gifts.”

  • first date set up: $100 cash
  • second date (with either same person, indicating a better match, or a 2nd person): +$200 or free latisse worth $300
  • third date (again can be w same person): + $300 or free botox worth $500
  • 4th date (w same or diff person): + $400 or free Juvederm injections worth $900
  • 5th date (same conditions): + 500 cash or 1 eye free LASEK worth $2000:)

About the only nice thing I can say about this guy is that he’s a dog lover.

32 comments Add your comment

ByteMe

August 9th, 2013
8:29 am

Nothing wrong with the list, although I think he’s setting himself up for failure, at least he’s clear on what he wants.

On the other hand, completely inappropriate marketing channel choice.

He’d be better off with a matchmaker like One-on-One Matchmaking or similar. At least that way, he’s handling the marketing end properly and they can help shave some of the sharp edges off his pitch.

Don't Tread

August 9th, 2013
8:34 am

I believe he’ll find a unicorn first…

Chris

August 9th, 2013
8:42 am

Why would such an unrealistic person want a perfect person? A woman that perfect would be crazy to hang around such a warped nut.

aon

August 9th, 2013
8:48 am

Good Lord! Maybe a Real Housewife as they pretend to be all of this.

aon

August 9th, 2013
8:49 am

@ Don’t Tread. HaaaaaHaaaa. Perfect!

donkey200

August 9th, 2013
9:05 am

Unicorn…Hahaha!!!

Socialism Hater

August 9th, 2013
9:09 am

Will this surgeon be working AT ALL once ObamaCare goes into full effect?

haywood Jablome

August 9th, 2013
9:13 am

no big boobs requirement? (whisper: i think a certain doctor needs to come out of the closet)

Barbie

August 9th, 2013
9:26 am

Wow I am surprised he didn’t want to make sure she was a virgin too!!

Instyle

August 9th, 2013
9:37 am

Now, I wonder if HE is all that and a bag of chips!

silvergirl

August 9th, 2013
9:58 am

I wonder how many employees he goes through in a 1-3 yr period?

guest

August 9th, 2013
10:01 am

According to the reader comments in the link, his name is Emil W Chynn.
My guess is that he means well but doesn’t understand how socially backward he appears.

Fareeldo

August 9th, 2013
10:13 am

…just googled Emil Chynn. Turns out, he’s a well-known creep. And, er, uh…by the looks of his pictures, would come up short just beyond the pants zipper.

GRAPHITE

August 9th, 2013
10:14 am

Would you want this guy operating on your eye???

Kat

August 9th, 2013
10:20 am

At least he’s honest. He is superficial and vain, but it’s known going in. Also, all of the procedures sound more suited to females (Latisse – isn’t that growing eyelashes?) Except for the Lasik, of course!

Kat

August 9th, 2013
10:22 am

Also, I thought the surgeon’s wife had gone missing, and he was trying to help things move along by offering something different. From the headline only…

Metoo

August 9th, 2013
10:37 am

Great list, but I’m already married.

Jim

August 9th, 2013
10:58 am

All of those Ivy League schools and he doesn’t know when to use e.g. instead of i.e.?

aon

August 9th, 2013
11:15 am

The comments are hysterical. It is nice to see some fun bantering over an absurd posting rather than all the ugliness that usually shows up.

Annoyed with latent racism

August 9th, 2013
11:20 am

I can’t believe that being white ranks higher than attractive. Super annoyed with men who put “white” as only preference. Is it latent racism or just that you don’t think black women are attractive? Either way: offensive.

Laurie

August 9th, 2013
11:30 am

I would watch his episode on millionare matchmaker. I love it when Patti smacks the creepers down.

MellowYellow

August 9th, 2013
11:34 am

I don’t think the good doctor’s requirements are that crazy! With the exception of the race issue, I actually meet all of his requirements. If this is what he wants then he shouldn’t have to compromise. I also believe that the right person would be able to tweek his outlook if there was a true connection. Good luck in your search!!

guest

August 9th, 2013
11:37 am

@Annoyed with latent racism
Finally! I knew somebody would “make it racial.”
Thank you.

Moe Foe

August 9th, 2013
11:49 am

@ Annoyed with latent racism – 11:20 am

Most people in civilized society find your uneducated ignorance, blind rage and BLATANT racism offensive.

Go thump your chest somewhere else.

Fareeldo

August 9th, 2013
11:58 am

@ Annoyed…the doctor is actually Chinese (or Japenese…I still have trouble distinguishing). It’s not racism; he’s only trying to ensure that his children are afforded all the latitude and leeway the law allows!

judi

August 9th, 2013
11:58 am

ok, my question is if “she” has to be all those things, age, size, etc….WHY would she need all that surgery to begin with? How bad and wrinkled could an 8 size 0-2 and 28-34 year old be to need all those things he’s offering? YIKES- he sounds scary.

Fareeldo

August 9th, 2013
12:27 pm

Judi…nooooo, the services are a gift to the saint who finds this perfect woman for the doctor; they are not for the woman herself! Isn’t that cuckoo?

Roo

August 9th, 2013
12:36 pm

His requesting a white woman is his preference. We all have those. I see no issue there.

Tim in Louisville

August 9th, 2013
12:41 pm

The only person I know that might remotely fit the description, walked on water but he’s a guy and doesn’t go that way! And even he, in this case, isn’t perfect.

Babs

August 9th, 2013
1:07 pm

He needs a matchmaker. Someone who will tell him just how superfiial he is and how demanding and conceited he is. He will never find someone who meets his criteria. Also, what does he bring to the table?

Its me!

August 9th, 2013
2:06 pm

Its me, I am that perfect gal he seeks but lets look at my list…..

Well rounded well liked man who does not have to resort to mass emails or personal ads to find good women.
Has a good soul that people are naturally attracted to him.
Although I am a 0-2 size as he wants, I want a man who I can wrap around and not feel his bones. That said, I want a man who enjoys food and loves to spend time in the kitchen.
Most of all, has to have experience in the sheets, so if he is out shopping and paying off friends to find me….. he is passing up opportunities to refine his craft.
No blue pills. Got to be all natural babe.
Rewards ? Priceless.

valvacious

August 14th, 2013
9:43 am

A King wants a Queen and a Queen wants a King….like attracts like…. I wonder what this guy looks like and how is his personality. Yes, he is highly educated and makes money but is he narcissistic?

Does he have an abusive personality. Does he have anger issues when he does not get his way. How does he treat other people, such as waiters, if his order isn’t the way he wants it.