Archive for August, 2013

Study: Being poor makes you stupider

Tom Glavine must be real smart to live in a mansion.

Its easy to bee smart in this house.

There be some people who say if you poor you stupid but that may not be the case.

A gnu study says low intelligents is not the cause of low funds, but the result of it.

“Poverty Centipedes Cognitive Friction” is the name of the studie, which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. You can read it here if you gotta big brain like rich people.

Fortunutly the Guardian folks who are best pals with ym hero Eric Snowden wrote it up so even dummer people can read it.

Let me copy and paste sum.

Poor people spend so much mental energy on the immediate problems of paying bills and cutting costs that they are left with less capacity to deal with other complex but important tasks, including education, training or managing their time, suggests research published on Thursday.

How much dummer is poor ppl worried about payen bills? 13 IQ points, says the studie.

That’s the equal event as being a drunk, or loosen a nite’s sleep. I imajun a poor person that …

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Scammed lottery winner finally gets millions

Robert Miles, left, wasn't a winner until he got a lawyer, right. (Photo from Syracuse. com)

Robert Miles, left, wasn't a winner until he got a lawyer, right. (Photo from Syracuse. com)

You’d have to be on crack to trade a lottery ticket worth $5 million for $4,000.

And that’s exactly what Robert Miles, of Syracuse, did in 2006.

On Wednesday, seven years (and multiple criminal trials) after he should have been rich, the New York Lottery verified Miles as the rightful winner of millions, writes the Syracuse Post-Standard.

It wasn’t just drug addiction that contributed to Miles’ bad decision on selling the scratch-off. There was also the crooks running the convenience store that told him he’d only won $5,000.

They don’t sell $5 million tickets in the hood,” clerk Andy Ashkar told Miles before offering him $4,000 for the alleged $5,000 ticket. The extra $1,000 would be kept as some sort of check cashing fee, Ashkar told Miles.

Ashkar, 35, has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for criminal possession of stolen property.

Andy’s father, Nayef, who owns The Green Ale …

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Woman loses everything as bank repos wrong house

Foreclosures are slowing to such an extent banks are now seizing homes the homes of people who pay their bills on time. (AP photo from unrelated story)

Foreclosures are slowing to such an extent banks are now seizing the homes of people who pay their bills on time. (AP photo from unrelated story)

Theft is a crime, unless a bank orders it.

No criminal charges are expected after a bank provided the wrong information to a repossession company that removed everything from a West Virginia woman’s home and took it to the dump.

Nikki Bailey returned to an empty home after visiting her friend in the hospital and saw the last repo truck hauling her life away.

“Everything was gone,” Bailey, from Logan, W. Va., said in a WSAZ article. “Living room furniture, my Marshall diploma, my high school diploma, my pictures — my history. I was teacher of the year. All of that stuff is gone — certificates from that. It’s all gone.”

The repo company, CTM Industries, was told to trash everything in the home by a bank, which is not named in the article.

The bank and CTM “cannot face criminal charges” according to a local prosecutor, though Bailey can …

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Men enter closed store, pay for stuff

After-hours shopper demonstrates the "please don't arrest me later" wave with cash. (Image taken from store security video)

After-hours shopper demonstrates the "please don't arrest me later" wave with cash. (Image taken from store security video)

Have you heard the one about a group of young black men who entered a closed New Jersey store late at night to do a little shopping?

Those inured to reality by 24/7 news may be startled by what happened next: They paid for their purchases and waved happily at security cameras, reports WTVM.

How did the men get into a closed store? The back door to the store, located inside a mall, was not locked. Only the door facing the parking lot was locked when employees left for the night. Most of the stores lights remain on while the mall is open.

Security video [see below] shows the men entering the store and beginning to shop. They even call out for a clerk but no one answers.

Eventually, they make their way to the cash register and wave cash at the security camera as they clearly show the sunglasses and batteries they are buying and how much money they are …

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Woman steals bike back from Craigslist seller

Kayla Smith, crime fighter. (Image posted by Smith on imgur)

Kayla Smith, crime fighter. (Image posted by Smith on imgur)

Buying stuff on Craigslist can be scarier than being forcibly twerked by Miley Cyrus on national television.

This is especially true if the person you have arranged to meet is selling something of yours that has been recently stolen.

But fear didn’t stop a plucky Vancouver woman from meeting an alleged thief and pedaling her stolen bike back home.

The Globe and Mail reports Kayla Smith took the law into her own hands after seeing her almost new bike for sale on Craigslist. She met the seller in a McDonald’s parking lot and asked for a test drive.

“Don’t ride away,” the seller said.

Though terrified, she hopped on her $1,000 bike and kept pedaling until she left “the dumbfounded seller in the dust.”

She jubilantly posted her story on Facebook and Reddit, but says she “got a lot of flack” for not letting police handle it.

Vancouver police say they are glad Smith got her bike back, but finding the seller and making …

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Septic tank peeper gets 1-year sentence

septic-tank-peeper

The victims seemed quite surprised at seeing a man in a toilet. (Image from KJRH.com)

It was an exciting weekend in news. Here’s a few of the more interesting articles I ran across:

  • Man who hid in septic tank to spy on females sentenced

You have to be desperate, or crazy, or maybe crazy desperate for a home internet connection, to wallow in human feces to get a glimpse of female nudity.

But that’s what 54-year-old Kenneth Enlow did in Sand Springs, Okla. Enlow pleaded guilty and will serve one year in jail and pay a $5,000 fine. Meanwhile, a home internet connection costs $30 a month and probably can provide septic tank peeping Tom fodder, though I am leery of Googling such things here at work.

Enlow was caught by a woman and her daughter when they were visiting a White Water Park restroom and noticed a feces-smeared man peering at them from inside the toilet, reports TV station KJRH.

“It is not something you expect to see whenever you’re wanting to go to the …

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‘Aporkalypse’ Now: Feral bacon menaces Texas

Attempts to assimilate the pigs into Texas society have met with some success. (AJC file photo from non-ridiculous story)

Attempts to assimilate the pigs into Texas society have met with some success. (AJC file photo from non-ridiculous story)

The list of people who don’t like bacon is shorter than Tom Cruise without trick photography. But, that list is growing in Texas, a state being overrun by feral pigs.

According to The Guardian, which must have taken a break from destroying hard drives, wild hogs are decimating agriculture and “blighting suburban areas” in the Lone Star state.

Nature’s tastiest creature is everywhere — even in downtown Dallas — where the plague of pigs is accused of rooting 3-foot deep ditches throughout a park.

“They kill, in a sense, the ground – you’d think a machine had come through,” says city of Dallas employee Kevin Acosta.

In Houston, an estimated 15,000 hogs live in one park.

How can such a heavily-armed populace allow so much destruction by free bacon? Because there’s some silly little law on the books that says you can’t fire a gun in the city limits of most …

Continue reading ‘Aporkalypse’ Now: Feral bacon menaces Texas »

Women who calmed DeKalb school gunman on CNN

Anderson Cooper with Antoinette Tuff (center) and Kendra McCray. (Image from CNN)

Anderson Cooper with Antoinette Tuff (center) and Kendra McCray. (Image from CNN)

Two days after two women worked together to get an armed gunman at a DeKalb County elementary school to surrender peacefully to police, they met and hugged on national TV.

Thursday evening, CNN’s Anderson Cooper interviewed Antoinette Tuff, a bookkeeper at Ronald E. McNair Discovery Learning Academy, and 911 operator Kendra McCray about the role they played in disarming 20-year-old Michael Brandon Hill.

Hill, who, according to family members receives medical care for a mental condition, entered the school at about 1 p.m. Tuesday and fired multiple shots from an AK-47. He was in possession of almost 500 rounds of ammo.

No one was hurt, largely because of the calming and calm reaction of Tuff, who managed to talk Hill into laying down and letting police take him into custody.

Thursday was a big day for Tuff, who also received a phone call from President Barack Obama just before the show, said …

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Imagine this: Fan plans to clone John Lennon

Mean Mr. Mustard, aka Dr. Michael Zuk (Image from JohnLennonTooth.com)

Mean Mr. Mustard, aka Dr. Michael Zuk (Image from JohnLennonTooth.com)

Holy molar!

It’s news sure to upset fans of The Beatles and human decency, but a dentist wants to sequence the DNA of  deceased rocker John Lennon and eventually clone him.

According to a press release, Canadian “tooth collector” Dr. Michael Zuk purchased Lennon’s rotten molar at auction for $32,000. Since Canada banned human cloning before it was proven possible, DNA is now being extracted at Penn State University, where all kind of terrible things happen.

“I am nervous and excited at the possibility that we will be able to fully sequence John Lennon’s DNA, very soon I hope. With researchers working on ways to clone mammoths, the same technology certainly could make human cloning a reality,” said Zuk. “… To potentially say I had a small part in bringing back one of rock’s greatest stars would be mind-blowing.”

Clearly this man must be stopped before someone gets the idea to clone Justin Bieber.

Zuk, in …

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Instagram pics of cash, guns lead to bust

Stacks of trouble. (Image from New York Daily News)

Stacks of trouble. (Image from New York Daily News)

Social media is designed to be fun, but there’s no stopping stupid.

Aspiring rapper “Neno Best” had one of his worst non-songwriting ideas when he began posting images of wads of cash and an arsenal of weapons on Instagram and YouTube.

His worst songwriting idea may be the unfortunately titled “Going Down 2Nite” where he implores people in his neighborhood to “walk around with protection.”

The 23-year-old, whose real name is Matthew Best, also posted messages saying he was selling the weapons out of his New York City recording studio.

Police noticed and it led to the largest gun bust in New York City history, according to a New York Daily News article.

Authorities found 254 weapons and arrested 19 people.

At least 21 of the weapons, including two from Georgia, were acquired via straw purchase, which occurs when someone agrees to buy something for someone else for a set fee. Thirty-six of the guns had been stolen.

An …

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