Ladder may be placed atop Mount Everest

The wedding party climbing Everest was slowed by a lethargic Sherpa and a slippery firkin of quality ale. (AP photo)

The wedding party climbing Everest was slowed by a lethargic Sherpa and a slippery firkin of quality ale. (AP photo)

Evidence of human overpopulation is climbing like a 5-hour Energy quaffing Sherpa.

Recent reports indicate there are so many people on Earth a ladder may be placed atop Mount Everest to ease congestion.

For those who failed geology, Mount Everest, at 29,029 feet, is the highest elevation above sea level. If there was a baseball field up there, they’d have to call it 5-and-a-half Mile High Stadium and the fences would have to be moved back to Outer, or perhaps even Inner, Mongolia. (Warning: No math was used during this estimate).

Exactly 60 years ago today, New Zealand mountain climber Sir Edmund Hillary became the first person to climb the mountain in Nepal and issue a press release.

Now, climbing equipment is much better, a lot more people like having things to brag about and as many as 150 people per day climb Everest.

All those people are great for those in the mountain climbing business who charge clients $45,000 to $75,000 per ascent.

The new ladder, likely to be gilded in gold at those prices, would only be used to move folks down “Hillary’s Step,” the last 40 feet of nearly vertical rock atop the mountain.

“Most of the traffic jams are at the Hillary Step because only one person can go up or down. If you have people waiting two, three or even four hours that means lots of exposure [to risk]. To make the climbing easier, that would be wrong. But this is a safety feature,” said Dawa Steven Sherpa in The Guardian.

Not to make a mountain out of a molehill, but the aid would have been handy for an 80-year-old Japanese climber who said he “almost died” getting off the peak.

Anyone averse to ladders, ice, snow, oxygen deprivation or merely getting out of a chair can recreate Hillary’s historic trek on the “Everest: Rivers of Ice” website.”

Me, I’m waiting for an elevator.

Video: Ladder may be added atop Mount Everest

In this image released by mountain guide Adrian Ballinger of Alpenglow Expeditions and taken Saturday, May 18, 2013, a climber prepares to descend the Hillary Step as he makes his way down from the summit of Mount Everest, in the Khumbu region of the Nepal Himalayas. Nepal celebrated the 60th anniversary of the conquest of Mount Everest on Wednesday, May 29, 2013, by honoring climbers who followed in the footsteps of Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay. (AP Photo/Alpenglow Expeditions, Adrian Ballinger)

In this image released by mountain guide Adrian Ballinger of Alpenglow Expeditions and taken Saturday, May 18, 2013, a climber prepares to descend the Hillary Step as he makes his way down from the summit of Mount Everest, in the Khumbu region of the Nepal Himalayas. Nepal celebrated the 60th anniversary of the conquest of Mount Everest on Wednesday, May 29, 2013, by honoring climbers who followed in the footsteps of Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay. (AP Photo/Alpenglow Expeditions, Adrian Ballinger)

4 comments Add your comment

[...] Story originally appeared in “News to Me” humor blog on ajc.com [...]

[...] Story originally appeared in “News to Me” humor blog on ajc.com [...]

Roekest

May 29th, 2013
12:20 pm

A ladder? Still not as weird as the easily-seen bodies of climbers who never made it down.

frankly

May 29th, 2013
1:30 pm

I think they should add an elevator and just make it easy for everyone including disabled people. It’s not fair that only the rich, able bodied, and, ambitious folks can go.