Australia, a large desert island with more giant, hopping rats than people, is the happiest country on Earth, according to a bunch of people who’ve probably never set foot in the U.S.
The former penal colony has been ranked No. 1 for three consecutive years, largely because it “was the only major developed nation to avoid the global recession in 2009,” says The BBC.
The Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development, an organization that can’t even spell “organisation” right, ranks America 6th in its “Better Life Index.”
The highly technical survey looks at “11 topics of well-being,” including ones that are actually quantifiable (income, housing, jobs) and some that so subjective they are meaningless (community, governance, life satisfaction and work-life balance). Data used in the survey is all over the map. For example, housing info for Canada (No. 3) was pulled in 1997 while data used for Australia is from 2011.
Results of the survey are displayed using flowers.
How did we get beat?
According to the length of the “civic engagement” petal on the U.S. flower, it looks like we’ve got a serious problem doing whatever that is. Australia’s “civic engagement” flower petal, meanwhile, is longer than a vintage surfboard.
The U.S. should also throw down some “community” fertilizer, because we need some of that too, if we want to win this thing.
I’m no florist, but don’t move to Turkey. Their happiness flower looks like it was gnawed on by an enraged survey goat. And Mexico? Their safety petal was kidnapped, beaten and sold by drug cartel minions.
Here’s the happiest countries on Earth list, according to the BBC, because I couldn’t figure out the exact height of some of the flowers.
- United States
- The Netherlands
- United Kingdom