NTM: Women like men with big …

Anti-Thatcher protesters react to the death of former British Prime Minister as they gather at Trafalgar Square in London. (AP)

Anti-Thatcher protesters react to the death of former British Prime Minister as they gather at Trafalgar Square in London. (AP)

April 9, 2013:

  • A new study reveals women like tall men with a large [bleep]. For those unwilling to click the link, just know the word represented by bleep is NOT wallet. The study, which showed “3D computer-generated male bodies” to 105 women, found “[bleep] size affected a man’s sexual attractiveness, but height was equally important, with taller men considered more attractive.” Dr. Wong, whose name I did not just make up, said, “There is always much debate on the subject and we wanted to address the notion of whether size matters using a valid scientific approach.”
  • It looks like Maryland will be the next state to allow medical marijuana. The state Senate has approved the measure 42-4 and the governor said he would likely sign the measure into law. I don’t smoke marijuana, and never have, but it seems that many more states will be following suit. Younger Americans just don’t think of marijuana as a drug. Recently, for the first time ever, a majority of Americans polled said they favor legalizing the plant. The Pew Research Center says 52 percent of Americans favor legalization and 72 percent feel government efforts to enforce marijuana laws are not worth their costs. Only 32 percent believe smoking marijuana is morally wrong.
  • Englishmen (and women?) “celebrating the death” of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher pelted police with bottles. Six police officers were injured. Various shops were looted. Someone posted “You snatched my milk! & our hope” on Twitter. A “Socialist Worker” poster featuring a caricature of Thatcher is emblazoned with the words “REJOICE! REJOICE!” in large type. Musicians performed the tune “You Cannae Have A Spare Room In A Pokey Cooncil Flat,” whatever that means. I can see why our forefathers didn’t think very much of these people. In related news, fans of Sonny Bono’s ex-wife, Cher, got in a tizzy after misreading the #nowthatcherisdead hashtag on Twitter as “now that Cher is dead.”
  • NASA doesn’t plan to put a man on the moon again, but they do plan to use a robot to  lasso a 500-ton asteroid and park it near the moon. NASA chief Charles Bolden said that if the next presidential administration chooses to make another major course change in NASA’s human spaceflight program, such a change would mean “we are probably, in our lifetime … going to see Americans on the moon, on Mars, near an asteroid, or anywhere. We cannot continue to change the course of human exploration.” That’s sure to inspire a lot of robot children to study math and science.
  • A Moroccan actor is amused that his portrayal of Obama has been likened to that of Satan, or something like that. “Mehdi Ouazzani isn’t the devil,” writes the Associated Press, but he does look a bit like the president, according to some folks who watch “The Bible” miniseries on The History Channel. The AP reporter says the actor looks nothing like Obama OR the devil, but that didn’t stop conservative “firebrand” Glenn Beck from tweeting “Does Satan look EXACTLY like Obama? Yes!”
  • It’s the 10th anniversary of the fall of Baghdad. I recall working the overnight shift and an AJC reporter calling me from the top of the tank blazing a path to Iraq’s capital. There’s not a lot of news in the U.S. about it, but in the Arab world seems engrossed in sober reflection. One article by the “first independent news agency in Iraq” has quotes from the liberated. Hameed Salman, 42, said, “The situation is not like what we hoped.  … We had disappointments, because poverty and need remained and one dictatorship has turned to many.” “The type of the religious state will create more crises and will continue till we can separate the religion from the state”, said Haidar al-Mulla. Omar Mahmoud, 35, said “democracy has become an illusion.”
  • Suckers may be born faster than every minutes. According to sources in Brazil, a man shopping for toy poodles spent $150 on a couple of steroid-infused (and well-groomed) rodents. I hope his wife likes her new pets.

37 comments Add your comment

Samantha

April 9th, 2013
10:28 am

Just because a man is tall and have large feet DOES NOT mean he has a large ‘bleep’. I know from experience. That is a myth! I have been with tall men with big feet and tiny ‘bleeps’. So that is not true at all!

old geezer

April 9th, 2013
10:33 am

About yesterday’s blog…I tried putting pantyhose on my dog and there is no way that pair is ever going to be worn again by the poor ladies at church, next time I will trim the dog’s nails. Does anyone know of any pageants for pantyhose wearing dogs, my hound looked good enough to win grand supreme.

Chris Riker

April 9th, 2013
10:35 am

Your excerpts of Bolden’s comments couldn’t be more opposite from their actual meaning in context. He’s blaming politics, not simply proclaiming the death of exploration. He says IF politicians keep changing course for NASA, then… (and the quote you put up.)

George Mathis

April 9th, 2013
10:44 am

Thanks Chris, I will check it out and update.

Edward R. Murrow

April 9th, 2013
10:50 am

RE: “Women like tall men with a large [bleep].”

In other breaking news, Water is Wet.

Andrea

April 9th, 2013
11:03 am

Fellas, anything more than a mouthful (or a throatful, depending on the girl) is a waste.

Chris Riker

April 9th, 2013
11:04 am

Thanks, George. It is indeed difficult to see NASA scale back its ambitions and talk in terms of seemingly baby steps that take decades. No more “before this decade is out.” The work NASA does is valuable, but there’s no undervaluing the need for big goals. NASA seems to be slipping away from things that inspire an entire nation; otherwise by now we would be talking about the sports shirts they’re wearing during the Mars landing. Fortunately, there may be hope in the private sector. Lunch on Phobos anyone?

Experienced

April 9th, 2013
11:06 am

When given a choice between a big “bleep” or a big wallet…most women chose the big wallet.

gadem

April 9th, 2013
11:13 am

I like women with large bleeps and HUGE bleeps…but a large bank account cancels all of that other stuff out.

George Mathis

April 9th, 2013
11:15 am

Chris, I agree. My dad worked at NASA in the 60s and early 70s, so not sending humans in to space is a bit of a shock. That is what got America so stoked about science. But robots are cheaper and in most ways better. We don’t have to worry about a robot on Mars getting lonely and going stir crazy.

Hal 9000

April 9th, 2013
11:20 am

I’m sorry George… I can’t allow you to do that…

Grazerific2398

April 9th, 2013
11:59 am

If you have to have a big truck, it may be because you have big tunnel.

madd

April 9th, 2013
12:10 pm

Samatha, maybe they are big…but you have a manhole!? LOL!

notaracist

April 9th, 2013
12:13 pm

So I guess the saying,It does not matter the size of the ship,but the motion in the ocean, is not true. Personally I like a big boat,however, I have had big boats and the motion in the ocean was so calm, I really didn’t care for the ride.

RickInGrayson

April 9th, 2013
12:51 pm

Samantha April 9th, 2013 10:28 am

How “large” was your sample size? Was it a random sample? :)

Bernie

April 9th, 2013
1:06 pm

Now you know that certain segment of the poulation is going to avoid this read like the Plague. While their WIVES and Girlfriends will read it smile and glee! :)

skp

April 9th, 2013
1:06 pm

Samantha – It’s the HANDS….

Bernie

April 9th, 2013
1:06 pm

correction:

Now you know that certain segment of the poulation is going to avoid this read like the Plague. While their WIVES and Girlfriends will read it with a smile and glee! :)

rob

April 9th, 2013
1:09 pm

really, seriously, we cant just use the word penis? ……………

rob

April 9th, 2013
1:11 pm

oh, just goes to show who the most popular man at the nudist colony is, the man that can carry 12 donuts and 2 cups of coffee, …wonder who the most popular woman is, the one that can eat the last donut!!!

Hung Lo

April 9th, 2013
1:27 pm

My wife keeps one hand on my bleep and the other hand on my wallet !

TheDuchess

April 9th, 2013
1:36 pm

I’ve always been told that big feet and big hands equals a CLOWN. LOL But, let me find out for myself. Ha

joe

April 9th, 2013
1:44 pm

Those stupid English people celebrating the death of MT are complete morons, and you loony libs in the US are right there with them. Ever see a socialist country in great financial shape? NO, because sooner or later the takers use up all of the earners tax provided (aka stolen) revenue. Wake up idiots!

Hilarious

April 9th, 2013
1:47 pm

Joe-

Take a look at the truly Socialist countries, rather than your made-up Socialist countries you dare not name.

They’re doing just fine, chief.

Clean the spittle off your chin. It’s embarrassing.

BillyGreen

April 9th, 2013
2:40 pm

Who cares what women want? They date men with wallets, or if they want children, they obtain stud service, then a divorce agreement, in rapid order. (They don’t divorce your wallet, however; that’s a case of true love if ever there was one). Rich guys use them, toss them in the trash when they’re through with them, cheat on them just for sport, but that alimony drives them on, just like a herd of buffalo stampeding, smelling a waterhole in the distance. Just have the atttitude that you’re doing them a favor by dating them, being around them, etc. You’ll get the same reaction from them, regardless of whether you’re concerned about them or not, because they could not care less about you, except to manipulate you into the poorhouse. In all my 50 years, I’ve never seen a happy couple that had been together for any length of time; at some point, they just “put up with each other,” if they stay together at all. If you’re naive enough to believe in true love, it will take you quite some time to find it. The reason men cheat on women is because of the way they act and treat their men. Not that it’s right, but if you mistreat and use people, you hardly ever get love in return, but then the golddiggers could not care less. Just be warned, esp if you’re under 30. Search long and hard for Mrs. Right; there aren’t many of them out there, and you’ll be extremely fortunate if you find one that’s worth all the nonsense that comes even with the good ones. As for the sub-human filth that protested PM Thatcher after she passed, you’re less than worthless. Since sowing and reaping applies, regardless of your beliefs, guess what people are going to do when you fall into the grave, lefty? Hopefully, for your sake, they’ll have cottonmouth on that day…

LarryJ

April 9th, 2013
3:01 pm

I’m 6′3 with size 13 feet. A girl whispered in my ear and said “you know what they say about men with big feet? I said no, hoping I was on to something, when she said, they need big shoes.” Then she walked away.

Ezra

April 9th, 2013
3:05 pm

Well, that does it. If I get lucky I will just finish and go home.

Jlong

April 9th, 2013
3:09 pm

Trust me I have been pushed away many times because my bleep was more than they bargained for. Be careful what you ask for, you just might get more than you can handle.

bobo

April 9th, 2013
3:20 pm

Hey Hilarious, could you name some of those “truly socialist” countries that are “doing just fine?” How about just one? Chief?

Bumper

April 9th, 2013
3:25 pm

If you haven’t already clicked on the “steroid-infused rodent” link do so. Too funny!

It also got me to wondering what effect steroid-infusion would have on a bleep.

Anothermommy

April 9th, 2013
3:37 pm

A large umm” package” and NOTHING upstairs gets OLD real fast! Dating a handsome human vibrator is NO FUN!!

Will Jones - Atlanta Jeffersonian Exegesis

April 9th, 2013
4:02 pm

We never landed on the Moon the first time: http://batesmotel.8m.com/

Those telling us lies we good and decent Americans are so trusting to believe, teach their children our believing their lies makes us “sub-human animals” to be “lied to, cheated, robbed, enslaved and killed, with impunity.” They call us “goyim” and joke about making money off of us during Christmas season.

More of their lies since the Moon Landing Hoax are “Nineteen Muslims with boxcutters, managed from a cave in Afganistan, penetrated the most secure airspace in the world after hijacking four planes without one of their names appearing on any of the passenger lists;” and, “we must turn in our guns because the same psychos who killed JFK and committed 9/11 want us to believe they aren’t the ones who staged the easily proven mass shootings hoaxes in CO, WI and CN.”

Khazars served Rome thousands of years ago, and do so now. It’s called “the Federal Reserve” scam, and JFK ended it. “They” know what “they” are doing. Mr. Jefferson didn’t call them “an engine for enslaving mankind,” “the real Anti-Christ,” for no reason. Tens of thousands of christs were impaled by them. “They” think it’s we Black and White Gentile Americans’ “turn.”

Prestonite

April 9th, 2013
4:30 pm

George, I stumbled across your column by mistake and all I can say is that if this is “News to You” then I would suggest you get into the real world and crank up your expectations a bit. You may however be targeting the early “post acne” crowd in which case you are delusional if you think these are the ones reading newspapers.

Jhunterbob

April 9th, 2013
4:50 pm

Enter your comments here

Jhunterbob

April 9th, 2013
4:58 pm

George,

I happen to be in London now and I loved your comment that no wonder our forefathers didn’t thing much of these people…

It was pretty fascinating witnessing the reaction yesterday. There is no in between with Maggie. You either loved or hated her apparently.

It’s amazing how you can not know much about a countries domestic issues and think the individual is universally liked just because they are a friend of your nation…

partlycloudy

April 9th, 2013
5:59 pm

Well, all other things being equal, yes. I mean, experience counts, and technique, etc. But if all factors are equal, then size does matter. And the size of feet is not related to the other size.
Height? Not so much. As long as the guy is taller than me.

Realist

April 9th, 2013
6:47 pm

two things.. one, when did women figure out what they want/like?? two, when did guys started caring?? that is all.