
Off with his head! (AP Photo)
A weather-predicting rodent faces the death penalty after seriously botching what seems to be his only job.
Fox 19, a TV station in Cincinnati, has the story.
Prosecutor Michael Gmoser alleges in an indictment that “on or about Feb. 2, 2013 … Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early.”
“I woke up this morning and the wind was blowing, the snow was flying, the temperatures were falling, and I said ‘Punxsutawney, you let us down,’” said Gmoser in the Fox 19 article.
The indictment accuses the misguided rat of “misrepresentation of early spring,” an unclassified felony “against the peace and dignity of the State of Ohio.”
Gmoser seeks to extradite the mutant squirrel from his home in Gobbler’s Knob, located near Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.
Court watchers polled by this reporter believe Pennsylvania officials will deny extradition requests to preserve Phil’s life and the tourism industry in the otherwise nondescript villa.
An attorney for Punxsutawney Phil could not be reached for comment because he’s likely in Hawaii with his client enjoying awesome weather.
Lilburn groundhog Gen. Beauregard Lee, who correctly predicted winter would hang around, is perhaps cackling gleefully at his prognosticating foe’s misfortune.
But some humans think the call for Phil’s furry and somewhat cute head is unwarranted.
Veteran AJC reporter Mike Morris, who through some sort of career mishap has covered more Groundhog’s Day stories than Bill Murray, said, “I’m sure that the Ohio district attorney has his tongue planted firmly in cheek, or at least I hope so, because if Punxy Phil can be prosecuted for missing a forecast, can human forecasters be far behind?”
59 comments Add your comment
Jan
March 22nd, 2013
2:36 pm
well, it’s not like he volunteered for the job… give him a break!!
Aunt Pittypat
March 22nd, 2013
3:12 pm
Let me guess, Gmoser is a republican.
Road Scholar
March 22nd, 2013
4:08 pm
alan: …and get elected!
shani: What is worse is it is in Pennsylvania!
I am having second thoughts on my next career in my next life: I was wanting to be a weatherman. Where else can you make 6 figures, talk about fishing/golf all the time, and be wrong 90% of the time, and keep your job? With this death threat , I may decide to be a politician! Oh wait,…….
that death threat thingee!
This blog has reaffirmed my belief that half of the people have an active brain, a sense of humor, and the ability to keep life in prospective. The other half have their heads up their a.–!
jdp
March 22nd, 2013
5:04 pm
if this is what you get for a bad weather prediction, all meterologists would cease to exist…
Animal Lover Forever
March 22nd, 2013
5:46 pm
Leave the poor thing alone!! If they want, hey can ship him/her to Georgia. We’ll gladly take him/her. Phil needs a little Southern Hospitality right about NOW!!!!! Besides, I don’t care what either groundhog says about Spring, I think God’s plan was already in place before the beginning of time and we were going to have six more weeks of Winter regardless. I’m sorry this burden was ever placed on the poor groundhogs!!!
PM
March 22nd, 2013
5:51 pm
The groundhog promised nothing and signed no contract with anyone promising anything. It does not speak English or any human language, cannot understand right from wrong, and is not capable of writing even as much as it’s own name. These limitations are known to all involved and therefore speak not only to the incompetence of the defendant to stand trial, but also speak to the incompetence of any and all parties who would seek to hold this creature accountable for actions it did or did not take.
Or to make it simple, the prosecutor is an idiot. Disbarment might be appropriate. Embarrassment for sure.
Wendy
March 22nd, 2013
6:18 pm
I know this is a joke but it is really NOT FUNNY.
SouthernMan1
March 22nd, 2013
6:25 pm
Hang his sorry butt till he stops wigglin, then fry him up in a skillet with brown gravy. C’mon boys, lets storm the town and take him! Let’s skin him and make a pair of UGG boots.
Traveller
March 22nd, 2013
6:56 pm
Lesson for the Day: Never believe in a Yankee Groundhog. Once again, the South Was Right!
FREEDOM
March 22nd, 2013
7:02 pm
, HEY, WAKE UP AMERICA… IT IS TIME FOR ME AND MY GUIOTINE TO RIDE NORTH TO PERFORM THE NECESSICITY, THAT IS DUE TO THIS LYING ASS CRITTER… I WILL ENJOY IT TOO…
FREEDOM