Groundhog death penalty sought

Off with his head! (AP Photo)

Off with his head! (AP Photo)

A weather-predicting rodent faces the death penalty after seriously botching what seems to be his only job.

Fox 19, a TV station in Cincinnati, has the story.

Prosecutor Michael Gmoser alleges in an indictment that “on or about Feb. 2, 2013 … Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early.”

“I woke up this morning and the wind was blowing, the snow was flying, the temperatures were falling, and I said ‘Punxsutawney, you let us down,’” said Gmoser in the Fox 19 article.

The indictment accuses the misguided rat of “misrepresentation of early spring,” an unclassified felony “against the peace and dignity of the State of Ohio.”

Gmoser seeks to extradite the mutant squirrel from his home in Gobbler’s Knob, located near Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

Court watchers polled by this reporter believe Pennsylvania officials will deny extradition requests to preserve Phil’s life and the tourism industry in the otherwise nondescript villa.

An attorney for Punxsutawney Phil could not be reached for comment because he’s likely in Hawaii with his client enjoying awesome weather.

Lilburn groundhog Gen. Beauregard Lee, who correctly predicted winter would hang around, is perhaps cackling gleefully at his prognosticating foe’s misfortune.

But some humans think the call for Phil’s furry and somewhat cute head is unwarranted.

Veteran AJC reporter Mike Morris, who through some sort of career mishap has covered more Groundhog’s Day stories than Bill Murray, said, “I’m sure that the Ohio district attorney has his tongue planted firmly in cheek, or at least I hope so, because if Punxy Phil can be prosecuted for missing a forecast, can human forecasters be far behind?”

59 comments Add your comment

1911A1

March 22nd, 2013
12:51 pm

Did you know the weather people on TV have the highest salaries of all the on-air “talent”? If the rest of us were wrong as often as they are, we’d be out of a job.

Meanwhile, some of the posts to this article are proof that stupid people should not be allowed to own computers.

Laura

March 22nd, 2013
12:52 pm

I appear to be in the minority – but I thought it was pretty funny.

alan

March 22nd, 2013
12:56 pm

he’ll probably run for Congress

Einstein

March 22nd, 2013
1:09 pm

Poor performance? No problem, I’m sure there’s a spot for old Punxsutawney Phil in the Obama Administration!

Huffster

March 22nd, 2013
1:20 pm

Hilarious! Thanks, George. Lighten up, some of you! If you lived up there, you’d have to think of something funny to make the long winters go by faster.

The Man

March 22nd, 2013
1:24 pm

My goodness, some people take themselves so seriously. Lighten up and enjoy the joke

sawtooth

March 22nd, 2013
1:52 pm

Actually groundhogs are quite tasty, baked with sweet taters

Tap Out

March 22nd, 2013
1:55 pm

Give Phil a pass, Fox “News” and it’s associates were more wrong on the election, and they were allowed to live.

Old Violin

March 22nd, 2013
1:59 pm

This was a great article, and I took it for what it was worth. A joke ! It was funny and it was a break from all the terrible news we usually hear or read. Did someone actually take this as a slap against animals ? Mr.
Grmoser, thank you very much for the article….it was good to see a sense of humor in a sensitive
work enviroment.

work inviroment

lithia

March 22nd, 2013
2:27 pm

He’s too fat and cuddly to put down. Nooooooo! :)