Groundhog death penalty sought
Off with his head! (AP Photo)
A weather-predicting rodent faces the death penalty after seriously botching what seems to be his only job.
Fox 19, a TV station in Cincinnati, has the story.
Prosecutor Michael Gmoser alleges in an indictment that “on or about Feb. 2, 2013 … Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early.”
“I woke up this morning and the wind was blowing, the snow was flying, the temperatures were falling, and I said ‘Punxsutawney, you let us down,’” said Gmoser in the Fox 19 article.
The indictment accuses the misguided rat of “misrepresentation of early spring,” an unclassified felony “against the peace and dignity of the State of Ohio.”
Gmoser seeks to extradite the mutant squirrel from his home in Gobbler’s Knob, located near Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.
Court watchers polled by this reporter believe Pennsylvania officials will deny extradition requests to preserve Phil’s life and the tourism industry in the otherwise nondescript villa.
An attorney for Punxsutawney Phil could not be reached for comment because he’s likely in Hawaii with his client enjoying awesome weather.
Lilburn groundhog Gen. Beauregard Lee, who correctly predicted winter would hang around, is perhaps cackling gleefully at his prognosticating foe’s misfortune.
But some humans think the call for Phil’s furry and somewhat cute head is unwarranted.
Veteran AJC reporter Mike Morris, who through some sort of career mishap has covered more Groundhog’s Day stories than Bill Murray, said, “I’m sure that the Ohio district attorney has his tongue planted firmly in cheek, or at least I hope so, because if Punxy Phil can be prosecuted for missing a forecast, can human forecasters be far behind?”
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59 comments Add your comment
Justin
March 22nd, 2013
11:15 am
It amazes me sometimes how stupid some people are. Some of you will beleive anything and comment like it’s the gospel truth. LOL
Sheri
March 22nd, 2013
11:16 am
Really? This guy has nothing better to do with his time than WASTE taxpayer $$ with this??? GET A LIFE!
David E.
March 22nd, 2013
11:20 am
Have you people who are angered by this had your senses of humor surgically removed? (You know they have a surgery for that. Medicaid will even pay for it too.) This is a joke. No one is going to give the groundhog the death penalty. No one is going to spend any taxpayer money prosecuting a groundhog.
I might also add a warning to all of you are gullible enough to believe this story: April Fool’s Day is right around the corner. Be prepared. Folks like you will be buying in completely while the rest of us get a good old chuckle.
roughrider
March 22nd, 2013
11:26 am
Proof that one can not trust a yankee groundhog.
WAR EAGLE
March 22nd, 2013
11:38 am
The A.G. in Ohio has no case. First off, this BS about seeing his shadow or not was determined by humans. The Rodent did not invent this. He wakes up, does his business and then goes back to sleep until he has to go to the bathroom again. Nothing in writing, and no verbal guarantees. At least this is better than reporting about some clown coming out of the closet. (or another oblunder speech in the middle of an important game)
tanya campbell
March 22nd, 2013
12:08 pm
the whole groundhog day thing is all in fun..why is this guy getting so bent outa shape about it? dang just leave the poor groundhog alone and find something better to waste your time and money on.
Joey M
March 22nd, 2013
12:14 pm
We have $4.00 gas, rising utility bills, raging unemployment, a new tax system that is costing us even more….. And the AJC wants to write about killing a rodent? I’m convinced Liberals are morons.
Robin P
March 22nd, 2013
12:17 pm
Stacey
March 22nd, 2013
12:19 pm
I was literally laughing out loud when I read the story but then I read the comments from all of these outraged people and became frightened. Relax people…IT’S A JOKE! The groundhog is safe and the taxpayers of PA will not have to shell out money for this trial.
chick magnet
March 22nd, 2013
12:49 pm
So much for theory about global marmot-ing.