Groundhog death penalty sought

Off with his head! (AP Photo)

Off with his head! (AP Photo)

A weather-predicting rodent faces the death penalty after seriously botching what seems to be his only job.

Fox 19, a TV station in Cincinnati, has the story.

Prosecutor Michael Gmoser alleges in an indictment that “on or about Feb. 2, 2013 … Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early.”

“I woke up this morning and the wind was blowing, the snow was flying, the temperatures were falling, and I said ‘Punxsutawney, you let us down,’” said Gmoser in the Fox 19 article.

The indictment accuses the misguided rat of “misrepresentation of early spring,” an unclassified felony “against the peace and dignity of the State of Ohio.”

Gmoser seeks to extradite the mutant squirrel from his home in Gobbler’s Knob, located near Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

Court watchers polled by this reporter believe Pennsylvania officials will deny extradition requests to preserve Phil’s life and the tourism industry in the otherwise nondescript villa.

An attorney for Punxsutawney Phil could not be reached for comment because he’s likely in Hawaii with his client enjoying awesome weather.

Lilburn groundhog Gen. Beauregard Lee, who correctly predicted winter would hang around, is perhaps cackling gleefully at his prognosticating foe’s misfortune.

But some humans think the call for Phil’s furry and somewhat cute head is unwarranted.

Veteran AJC reporter Mike Morris, who through some sort of career mishap has covered more Groundhog’s Day stories than Bill Murray, said, “I’m sure that the Ohio district attorney has his tongue planted firmly in cheek, or at least I hope so, because if Punxy Phil can be prosecuted for missing a forecast, can human forecasters be far behind?”

59 comments Add your comment

shani

March 22nd, 2013
7:47 am

The poor thimg is punished already..he or she lives in the window at the library.

J

March 22nd, 2013
7:51 am

H

March 22nd, 2013
8:14 am

If we are going to do that then. Lets come up with a punishment for lawmakers stating on public record that marines were killed because of budget sequestration or 700,000 American jobs are also going to be lost due to nothing more than a reduction in the rate of spending and not a budget cut. Free Punxsutawney Phil!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop

March 22nd, 2013
8:31 am

Lord hve mercy on US, why hurt him or her, let them go!. This is the Lord’s world.

Josh

March 22nd, 2013
8:52 am

Rick D.

March 22nd, 2013
8:58 am

“The Onion”, days ago, had the headline “Punxsutawney Phil Beheaded For Inaccurate Prediction…”

crella

March 22nd, 2013
9:00 am

Not funny at all. The ‘wanted for fraud’ photo going around on Facebook was cute, but this is just in extremely poor taste.

Inquiring Isaac

March 22nd, 2013
9:06 am

If this groundhog deserves a penalty of this magnitude for a simple missed weather prediction, what type of punishment have 0bamaJiveTalker, Buffoon Bush & Darth Cheney earned for what that have done to our nation & its economy?

This is Mrs. Norman Maine

March 22nd, 2013
9:38 am

Okay to all the animal fanatics, it’s just a JOKE. Don’t get in your cars and head north for goodness sake.

garyc65

March 22nd, 2013
9:40 am

Tax payers money going to waste.Prosecutor Michael Moser is this all you got to do.I think they need to axe your job.Put the blame on an animal,just like a State official to do.