Archive for September, 2012

The Onion fools Iran’s news agency

FNA-onion2It’s easy to get fooled by the Onion News Network, just ask Congress.

The latest to not fathom satire is Iran’s top-notch news agency.

According to David Kenner, an associate editor with Foreign Policy Magazine, “Iran’s Fars News thinks Onion article, ‘Gallup: Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama,’ was real.”

The Onion, as almost everyone that does not work at FNA knows, makes up stuff. Usually, it is funny stuff.

The Onion’s original article is liberally quoted in the Iranian report, including this zinger from an alleged West Virginia voter: “[Ahmadinejad] takes national defense seriously, and he’d never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does.”

Business Insider provides a screenshot of the FNA article.

This is what happens when Jonathan Swift audio books are not played for school children.

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Apple’s new maps lose way

Steve Jobs would not be laughing.

Steve Jobs would not be laughing.

Many Apple fans feel lost without their iPhones.

But those lining up to buy the new iPhone 5 Friday may actually get lost if they use the mapping software in Apple’s new iOS 6, released earlier this week for the new iPhone, iPads and the older iPhone 4s.

The Wall Street Journal reports “Apple makes wrong turn as users blast map switch.

Apple, which had used Google’s mapping software since the launch of the hugely successful iPhone in 2007, decided to chart their own course with the latest mobile operating system.

It seems to have a few bugs.

Technology blog TechRadar says “the sound you hear is Google giggling, a lot.

A Tumblr blog quickly emerged — The Amazing iOS 6 Maps — that points out a few of the apparent problems.

One map shows Berlin (usually located in Germany), situated at the South Pole. Another shows Monterey, California a few hundred miles inland, which must shock the area’s famed sea lions.

Some user-submitted maps show …

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Man shot and killed while urinating from balcony

If there’s one thing growing up in the rural South taught me, it’s that you should never urinate off a porch onto someone with a loaded weapon.

Unfortunately, such wisdom is not common in Pennsylvania.

My Cox colleagues at Pittsburgh’s WPXI.com report a gentleman enjoying a game of dominoes decided, at 11 p.m. Tuesday, to use the bathroom in public.

As 35-year-old Roosevelt Robinson, of Wilkinsburg, relieved himself over a side railing of what must have been an apartment balcony, witnesses heard someone shout “Yo, yo!”

Then, several gunshots were fired from below. Robinson was taken to a nearby hospital, where he died.

No arrests have been made.

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Convicted killer says he’s too fat to be executed

Ronald Post, who may or may not be wearing makeup. (AP)

Ronald Post, who may or may not be wearing makeup. (AP)

A convicted killer who became “morbidly obese” in prison says he’s now too fat to be executed.

Ronald Post, who pleaded guilty in 1985 to killing a hotel clerk in Ohio, now weighs almost 500 pounds. He is scheduled to be executed in January, but has filed papers in federal court arguing his death by lethal injection would create severe problems for executioners.

First of all, his thick layer of fat would make it difficult of doctors to find a vein. Ohio executes inmates with a single dose of pentobarbital, usually injected through the arms.

And then there’s the matter of the flimsy metal gurneys. Post thinks his immense girth would break those.

“Indeed, given his unique physical and medical condition there is a substantial risk that any attempt to execute him will result in serious physical and psychological pain to him, as well as an execution involving a torturous and lingering death,” the federal filing said.

Post, 53, …

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Curses! eBay bans spells, potions

Cursed apple sales to plummet, hags say.

Cursed apple sales to plummet, hags say.

She should have seen this coming.

But, Tabetha Berry, a psychic from California, tells the Wall Street Journal says she was blindsided by eBay’s decision to ban the sale of magical goods and services.

Those wishing to load up on love potions, spells and other “metaphysical goods” will want to get their bids in today — the ban takes effect Thursday.

Berry, who charges $15 for a peek into the future, said she has tried advertising her services on Craigslist, but men want more than their palms read.

“I guess I could have seen that coming,” said the far-sighted prophet.

Berry is not alone. The site lists more than 40,000 spells for sale.

Including Joe Fening, 19, who is a journalism student when he’s not communing with the dead or conjuring for hire. For the sake of my profession, I’m hoping he changes majors.

“I don’t believe in this stuff,” says Fening on WSJ.com. “I just googled a bunch of things.”

The $150 per month he made were a good …

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