Police: Drunk lab tech lowered pants, freed monkeys

A clothed monkey reached for comment had no comment on the unclothed human.

A clothed monkey reached for comment had no comment on the unclothed human. But, he did remind folks to watch "Animal Practice" on NBC.

An experiment on primate alcoholism may have gotten out of control recently in Augusta where police found an allegedly intoxicated lab technician with his pants down in a room with uncaged monkeys.

Georgia Health Sciences University lab tech Coley Mitchell, 32, was arrested on charges of public intoxication after a co-worker spotted him partially unclothed in a locker room in the Sanders Research and Education Building last Monday.

The Augusta Chronicle reports Mitchell was seated in a chair with his pants half-down while two monkeys roamed the room freely.

In other area drinking news, a fancy golf club in Augusta is now admitting female members.

26 comments Add your comment


August 21st, 2012
10:40 am

Didn’t anyone tell him No Funny Monkey Business was allowed???

Dave in Marietta

August 21st, 2012
10:46 am

I had to make sure I wasn’t reading an article from The Onion!


August 21st, 2012
10:47 am

Why was his pants down? Was he about to Spank the Monkey?

Dr. Suess

August 21st, 2012
10:52 am

Moose juice, not goose juice, is juice for a moose and goose juice, not moose juice, is juice for a goose…ahhh this is crazy….

Dr. Irving

August 21st, 2012
10:58 am

When I was in Cappuchin Med School we used to play a drinking game that involved sitting in a chair in a lab with your pants down. I am certain that this was part of an approved experiment.

Cat Lover

August 21st, 2012
11:12 am

Maybe it was hot in there.

Bob in Sandy Springs

August 21st, 2012
11:23 am

Dr. Irving, I sure hope that you aren’t my Dr.


August 21st, 2012
11:36 am

Free all the monkeys! :) Use convicts on death row or something for experiments. Not cute little innocent monkeys! Maybe I am just biased because monkeys are my favorite animal after all!

i really don't know...

August 21st, 2012
11:52 am

just maybe, he was so drunk that he thought he had a banana in his pants to offer to the monkeys! What in the world!


August 21st, 2012
11:57 am

This reminds me of a scene in “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.”

Cosmos Carboni

August 21st, 2012
12:23 pm

“It’s my monkey…no, it’s my monkey!” It may look like you but it don’t belong to you!!”

The Ean

August 21st, 2012
12:35 pm

Looks like someone walked in before something “Legitimate” occurred . . . . .


August 21st, 2012
12:38 pm

I hope the lab tech was not spanking the monkey.


August 21st, 2012
12:47 pm

What does the other mean by “in other area drinking news”? Does he have an opinion on Augusta National that he’d like to share?


August 21st, 2012
1:01 pm

“An experiment on primate alcoholism may have gotten out of control.” And where exactly is primate alcoholism a problem that requires a study that is probably funded by tax payers through Federal grants. Sounds like this experiment was out of control long before the lab tech lowered his pants.


August 21st, 2012
2:10 pm

George – brilliant segue


August 21st, 2012
2:41 pm

And WHY is there an experiment on alcoholism? Looks like a prerequisite for prohibition. Again.

life coach

August 21st, 2012
2:42 pm

Well! If it was legit rape the monkey won’t get preggers.

Perfesser Seekrit Kleerantz

August 21st, 2012
2:46 pm

And where exactly is primate alcoholism a problem that requires a study

I’m sorry, but you’re not cleared for that level of information.


August 21st, 2012
2:50 pm

Maybe he thought he was an organ grinder!!


August 21st, 2012
2:51 pm

The world needs more incidents like this. This should be the new ‘normal’. Life would be far more entertaining. Instead of being arrested, he should be promoted.


August 21st, 2012
3:44 pm

Run monkeys run for your very life! :) Good for him! Hooray! :)


August 21st, 2012
4:25 pm

Was Shasha on the premises?

J. Fred Muggs

August 21st, 2012
4:51 pm

Maybe he was getting his banana peeled.

Fearless Franklin

August 21st, 2012
4:52 pm

Was Coley Mitchell’s last name Gullia?


August 22nd, 2012
8:55 am

Out of you three monkeys, one of you is going to get a spanking.