Decatur ‘bacon dangler’ to hit the streets
Erica Ray, pictured before needing the motivational power of bacon, has competed in the fabled Atlanta Journal-Constitution Peachtree Road Race. She has never won.
Few things motivate an out-of-shape athlete like dangling pork products.
Those who doubt such an assertion need only check a recent craigslist employment ad.
Job requirements? Keeping a properly prepared pork product near a runner’s face to encourage forward movement; running a few miles without going horizontal; fending off bacon-loving varmints (aka wild dogs) and potentially dodging bullets.
Pay? $10 per mile plus tips.
Curiously enough, the advertisement is not a hoax.
Decatur resident Erica Ray, 29, a Norfolk Southern field testing coordinator, has already hired what may be the world’s first bacon dangler.
Ray, who has tried her hand as a professional comedian, wrote the whimsical but effective ad because “getting to the gym has been a challenge lately so I figured bacon would be a good motivator.”
Dangled beef jerky or even a lit cigarette might also work in a pinch, she said in an email.
More than 10 people applied for the gig, but some didn’t take the proposal seriously and others “tried too hard,” said Ray. One “poor soul” responded with a generic blanket response, she said.
The lucky trainer who got the job, Joy Lee, who still proudly reminds folks she was voted ”Most Athletic” for Creekside High School’s class of 2000, was as funny as the original ad.
Lee claimed she secretly won 6 of the last 7 Boston Marathons; was from the South and knew how to fry bacon; and had helped Lance Armstrong win a few races in France. She also claimed to have rubbed herself down in raw meat before fighting a pack of wild dogs in a cage match wearing nothing but a sports bra and “obscenely tiny shorts.”
“Let’s just say I wasn’t the one who needed a rabies shot after, if you know what I mean,” wrote Lee.
Soon, Ray and Lee (which sounds like the first and middle name of a swamp cousin) and the sweet smell of bacon will be wafting along the 2 or 3 mile path to the East Lake or Decatur YMCA.
Someone please alert animal control.
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33 comments Add your comment
it's bacon!
May 1st, 2012
8:22 am
Seriously?
HCCynic
May 1st, 2012
8:45 am
Sounds reasonable to me. Now, if we can get the trainer to carry a couple of Dortmunder’s in lieu of water bottles, we have a training regiment that might get me off the couch.
Well played Ms. Ray, well played!
pudthetic
May 1st, 2012
8:54 am
what a douche
Mullet Ref
May 1st, 2012
9:08 am
Dang righteous!
Trizzle
May 1st, 2012
9:40 am
This article is just rediculas. Not bashing the writer mind you, but seriously? Dangling bacon? This girl looks like she never had a piece of bacon in her life. A lit cig? How can she run a marathon if she smokes? most people would be dead from that.
C. Tampa Ironworse
May 1st, 2012
9:50 am
I can TOTALLY outrun a pig.
Awesome
May 1st, 2012
9:57 am
HILARIOUS. Needed the comedic relief to start the day
Bill Lanier
May 1st, 2012
10:13 am
I caught Ray’s act at the Comedy Club and Eddie’s Attic; she’s seriously funny.
Amanda
May 1st, 2012
10:37 am
I actually know a chick that runs marathons while smoking unless her husband runs with her to reminder her that is not nice to the other runners. If she can’t get away with it during she lights up within a minute of crossing the finish line. She is crazy fast. Just because we can’t do it doesn’t mean it can be done.
Everybody
May 1st, 2012
10:39 am
none of this is funny
Denise
May 1st, 2012
11:16 am
The original ad was actually quite funny. I had a friend ask me if I had posted it. I reminded him that I don’t live in Decatur, and that MY dangler would be carrying cupcakes…
DebDoes
May 1st, 2012
11:37 am
I expected to read about Top Chef famed Kevin Gillespie running a race…he’s all about the pig…;-)
Cammi317
May 1st, 2012
12:27 pm
Ewww! That would send me running in the far opposite direction!
Laura
May 1st, 2012
12:28 pm
That is the stupidest effing thing I have heard in a long time.
tammyboy
May 1st, 2012
12:40 pm
fake and lame
dani
May 1st, 2012
12:54 pm
she should run with a reverse mullet
Layla
May 1st, 2012
1:28 pm
I need to hire a dorritos and fried chicken dangler, this will motivate me since this is my favorite food.
tommy
May 1st, 2012
2:03 pm
Why she don’t just tie a stick to a ball cap and then a string to bacon, so she don’t have to pay nobody? Thats what my uncle used to do.
Old Ed
May 1st, 2012
2:06 pm
She should run right out of town so we don’t have to hear about this stupid bacon dangling anymore.
Default Settings 2.0
May 1st, 2012
2:11 pm
I saw the Craigslist ad. Laughed my @$$ off!
BIG Bobba
May 1st, 2012
2:12 pm
SHOW ME THE FUNNY!!!???
CobbGOPer
May 1st, 2012
2:13 pm
I like her sense of humor. Is she single? Inquiring minds would like to know…
Shnard
May 1st, 2012
2:13 pm
This is not at all funny and in fact, it is downright confusing.
Tommy
May 1st, 2012
2:15 pm
Hey CobbGOPer, you sound like a really great guy, I am sure she would be interested in you! Go for it!
Rhett Butler
May 1st, 2012
2:46 pm
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
david c
May 1st, 2012
2:50 pm
Only in the Precious Persons Republic of Decatur.
RoadDawg
May 1st, 2012
5:37 pm
@All the negative people on here:
You say this is stupid…so don’t read it, and surely don’t waste your precious time commenting. Click another link, there’s literally 1,000s at your fingertips. And if you just can’t find it in your tiny brains to do THAT, then DON’T fill the blog w/ your inane ‘what a waste of time’ whining. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION (unless you present in in a humorous way, then somebody might care).
We all KNOW that this is a silly story, and that reading this added NOTHING productive to our day. We also all KNOW that if you’ve got time to be commenting on AJC articles during the work day, then you probably didn’t have all that much of importance to do. So…shut it, anonymous negative AJC blog-commenter. Nobody cares how important you think your time is.
As to the article itself…MMMMMMMMMMM….BACON.
Sandra
May 2nd, 2012
12:17 pm
I think it is disgusting that someone would run up and down the street waving a piece of dead animal in front of another human being. What is wrong with people today?
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May 2nd, 2012
4:20 pm
[...] 5. NOT SPORTS RELATED, STILL IMPORTANT: PROFESSIONAL BACON DANGLER WANTED. [...]
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May 3rd, 2012
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[...] 5. NOT SPORTS RELATED, STILL IMPORTANT: PROFESSIONAL BACON DANGLER WANTED. [...]
Seriously?
May 3rd, 2012
4:31 pm
SERIOUSLY???
1. This “article” is horribly written.
2. This “prank” is an poorly developed disaster.
Not funny at all. Actually kind of pathetic.
confused
May 4th, 2012
9:09 am
What does the pic of the dude running have to do with this story?
CynicalOne
May 22nd, 2012
9:03 am
Nicotine addiction is a powerful thing!