Beautiful columnist bravely bears scorn of other women

Beauty, like genius, is its own reward.

It’s also a terrible burden.

Imagine then the miserable existence of Daily Mail columnist/narcissist Samantha Brick, who recently tore herself away from a mirror long enough to pen a humble prose piece entitled: “There are downsides to looking this pretty: Why women hate me for being beautiful”

As a man, it was difficult to force my brain to read (and not simply drool) as the column is chock full of pictures detailing every alluring aspect of Brick’s self-described “lovely looks.”

You don’t get this beautiful without a little work. The genetically flawless Brick says she doesn’t drink or smoke. She works out, even when she “doesn’t feel like it,” and she “very rarely succumbs to chocolate.”

Still, the 41-year-old can’t wait to get even older so she can add some wrinkles and gray hair and begin “blending into the background” of visual mediocrity.

Brick, who’s been married to one lucky guy for four whole years, admits to flirting “to get ahead at work” because that’s what “many women do.”

But the advantage of being inhumanly attractive is weighed down by the scorn heaped upon her “tall, slim, blonde” frame by ugly, jealous women.

Female bosses are the worst — they have barred her from multiple promotions.

One “phenomenally tricky” supervisor treated her fairly … until the boss started putting on weight. Supervisor McPudge (a name I have created since none was provided) would “sneer at me in front of other colleagues that she was the star, not me.”

And more than one female friend has quit calling Brick because they can’t handle the hotness.

Brick, who looks like Aphrodite but writes like Sappho, drives her point home with searing verbosity.

“And most poignantly of all, not one girlfriend has ever asked me to be her bridesmaid.”

After reading that, I wept openly and without shame.

I also gave up all hope of claiming this year’s Pulitzer.

* Read the complete column, see jaw-dropping photos.

129 comments Add your comment

LOL!!

April 5th, 2012
4:38 pm

Enter your comments here

SayWhat

April 5th, 2012
4:41 pm

Wow…if that’s extreme beauty, than the rest of us have a chance!

Neil Pearson

April 5th, 2012
4:48 pm

She isn’t that hot. I’d bet she only score about a 5/10 on http://hotnessrater.com

Seriously!

April 5th, 2012
4:49 pm

Women hate her because she’s physically beautiful?? Seriously now…if women hate her, it’s because she obviously thinks she’s way more than what she is…and no one wants to be around anyone with that kind of attitude. Beauty is as beauty does. She’s not even close to being hot.

Idiots

April 5th, 2012
4:53 pm

Hey you idiots who keep saying,”Do you not get this is just a joke? It must be lost on you that this is a satire.”

That’s crap. Satires are intended to make a point. What’s the point of this garbage? Explain that, you idiots.

Essie Ray

April 5th, 2012
5:05 pm

Where is the beef, I mean “The Beauty”

A pretty woman

April 5th, 2012
5:13 pm

I am a beautiful woman and I believe Samantha Brick. It is very hard being beautiful and other women do treat you like crap. I don’t have female friends either because the moment they notice their husbands or boyfriends staring at me they become very angry and disconnect. These women will poke and pick you like the hens they are, pure jealousy. I don’t understand why women are so jealous of each other in that way but it is very true. I have used my looks to help me but it is my intelligent that has sustained me. It is not easy at all being very attractive. So you can all mock Samantha all you like but most of you know that she speaks the truth and many of you men would gawk at her simply because she’s blonde. I know my post will be laughed at as well. I don’t care.

Craig

April 5th, 2012
5:23 pm

She might be a 6 maybe when she’s “dolled up”.

Idiots

April 5th, 2012
5:23 pm

Enter your comments here

BiteMe

April 5th, 2012
5:33 pm

SERIOUSLY?!?!? Where do some people get their ego?????? She’s pretty average looking and frankly, my dog is prettier than her. And the reason no girlfriends have asked her to be a bridesmaid is because they know she will put them down on their special day by going out of her way to make them feel inadequate. Not because she’s “pretty”, but because her ego is absolutely sickening!!!!!!!!

BiteMe

April 5th, 2012
5:36 pm

To SERIOUSLY!…..you nailed it! That’s exactly the truth…..no one likes to be around narcissistic people……except the narcissists!!!!

Hugo

April 5th, 2012
5:54 pm

U joking right? She did not even think that she is close to being beautiful. She had to be talking about the personality. For real. Has to be the personality. or maybe her FEET?

Wowzah

April 5th, 2012
6:06 pm

All her teeth are straight, so in GB (UK, not Wisconsin) she’s a stunner. Or, maybe she feels she’s a beautiful person on the inside…but that can’t be it because, she’s so vain. (She prob’ly think this song is about her :) ).

If you have to write an article about how beautiful you are, then you probably aren’t, really. And could it be that her self-centered, narcissistic attitude is the reason she gets the crap treatment from her bosses. And if she is flirting with male bosses or counterparts to get a leg up on a promotion, I’m sure that after she leaves they roll their eyes and joke about it with their buddies. Or, they look about like she does.

wisconsinfalcons fan

April 5th, 2012
6:27 pm

this is a joke right..where is she from, she need to come to the Atl or here in the Mil-town where yes there are some lovely ladies around she just another average white girl just some guys tell her that so they might get lucky, I have to wear sun glasses to look at her. my pay check looks better than her

Matt

April 5th, 2012
6:53 pm

Saw the pic of her on the Yahoo page for this story and she isn’t even that hot. Her vanity vastly outweighs her looks.

Vetta

April 5th, 2012
6:59 pm

I would love to see what the women look like who is “hating” on her so-called “beauty,” because she is U-G-L-Y.

Boss Spearman

April 5th, 2012
7:00 pm

Figured it out. She’s a closing time 10…a 4 with a 6 pack!

Trey

April 5th, 2012
7:38 pm

Umm where is the beautiful columnist??? All I saw was a rather plain (being nice) woman.

Deuntrae

April 5th, 2012
7:44 pm

She’s an attractive 41 year old woman but definitely not as “hot” as she believes herself to be.

Sherry

April 6th, 2012
12:44 pm

I saw her picture and she is average, not really pretty at all

Ginger

April 6th, 2012
1:32 pm

I, as a woman, am particularly jealous of her fat roll.

Pandamic

April 6th, 2012
1:48 pm

Out at the club, I’d give her a 2nd look…but only to try determining why her nose makes the rest of her face look odd.

My scale of 1 – 10, she’s a 3 until she starts talking about herself.

carla roqs

April 6th, 2012
2:04 pm

i wept too, George…

Layla

April 6th, 2012
2:08 pm

This chick must be bipolar because it seems as if she suffers from a false sense of “grandousity”. There is nothing remotely attractive about her, I have seem blondes in Walmart that make her look like a mud duck.

Some One

April 6th, 2012
3:00 pm

She is absolutely hideous !!!!!!!!!!!!

kay

April 7th, 2012
9:53 pm

Attractive because of looking fit and well-groomed, but otherwise definitely below average. What’s with the crooked smile? When someone writes a column like the one she wrote, she is fair game for calling a dog a dog.

Daniel Huff

April 18th, 2012
12:25 pm

Sorry I am still looking for the beautiful girl.She doesn’t do a thing for me.Hard to be stuck on yourself I guess!

Sebastian the Ferrethearted

April 19th, 2012
1:02 pm

She’s moderately attractive by English standards, which isn’t saying much.

Rick

April 26th, 2012
8:32 am

Pretty she ain’t. She needs to climb down off that pedestal she’s put herself on.