Beautiful columnist bravely bears scorn of other women

Beauty, like genius, is its own reward.

It’s also a terrible burden.

Imagine then the miserable existence of Daily Mail columnist/narcissist Samantha Brick, who recently tore herself away from a mirror long enough to pen a humble prose piece entitled: “There are downsides to looking this pretty: Why women hate me for being beautiful”

As a man, it was difficult to force my brain to read (and not simply drool) as the column is chock full of pictures detailing every alluring aspect of Brick’s self-described “lovely looks.”

You don’t get this beautiful without a little work. The genetically flawless Brick says she doesn’t drink or smoke. She works out, even when she “doesn’t feel like it,” and she “very rarely succumbs to chocolate.”

Still, the 41-year-old can’t wait to get even older so she can add some wrinkles and gray hair and begin “blending into the background” of visual mediocrity.

Brick, who’s been married to one lucky guy for four whole years, admits to flirting “to get ahead at work” because that’s what “many women do.”

But the advantage of being inhumanly attractive is weighed down by the scorn heaped upon her “tall, slim, blonde” frame by ugly, jealous women.

Female bosses are the worst — they have barred her from multiple promotions.

One “phenomenally tricky” supervisor treated her fairly … until the boss started putting on weight. Supervisor McPudge (a name I have created since none was provided) would “sneer at me in front of other colleagues that she was the star, not me.”

And more than one female friend has quit calling Brick because they can’t handle the hotness.

Brick, who looks like Aphrodite but writes like Sappho, drives her point home with searing verbosity.

“And most poignantly of all, not one girlfriend has ever asked me to be her bridesmaid.”

After reading that, I wept openly and without shame.

I also gave up all hope of claiming this year’s Pulitzer.

* Read the complete column, see jaw-dropping photos.

129 comments Add your comment

Bob in Sandy Springs

April 5th, 2012
9:06 am

1st.

Obviously an inflated case of self worth and she ain’t that pretty to be making the statement……

What!

April 5th, 2012
9:09 am

Just not that pretty. I expected stunning, not average.

NL Thompson

April 5th, 2012
9:10 am

Is this a late April Fool’s Day joke?

JT

April 5th, 2012
9:11 am

Excuse me, but where’s the beauty?

deezbrvs

April 5th, 2012
9:11 am

clicked on the link…..she looks very average

Say what?

April 5th, 2012
9:13 am

@NL Thompson: that’s what i was thinking…think there’s enough room for her and her ego in that office? :-)

Katie

April 5th, 2012
9:18 am

She has great self esteem. That is all I am going to write.

Boss Spearman

April 5th, 2012
9:20 am

I must be missing something…I see more beautiful women than her around Atlanta every day.

Pirate

April 5th, 2012
9:20 am

I guess in Britain she’s about an 8. In Atlanta, she’s a 5. In Moscow, she’s a 1.

Highlands

April 5th, 2012
9:23 am

Agree with Pirate. Wouldn’t even notice her on a Saturday night here in Atlanta.

Vman

April 5th, 2012
9:28 am

Some of these statements are correct for beautiful women. My wife is very beautiful, and she has a very hard time getting other women to have a conversation with her, especially in church. Only those women that are truly happy and content with themselves, will offer her the time of day, which she graciously accepts. I sound crazy, but my words ring true to those women who have to deal with the cold shoulder of other women. It’s almost as if they hate to see her beautiful smile. I love my wife very much, and tell her all the time just to ignore the angst of other women. Oh well guys, she’s mine. It’s not too bad after all, for me.

MaYhEm

April 5th, 2012
9:29 am

ok….it that what gorgeous looks like? Where they do that at? Ms Thang ain’t even pretty: needs = dental work, serious nose job and a big girl hairdo -

Is She Kidding?

April 5th, 2012
9:30 am

Nobody has asked her to be a bridesmaid because she is dillusional.

Take a walk in downtown Atlanta on spring day. You will see many, many women who are much more beautiful. And maybe not dillusional.

Uncle Ruckus

April 5th, 2012
9:37 am

She has a clown nose

SkinDeep

April 5th, 2012
9:37 am

This lady figured out that she could sell her article and get her name and face out there without even trying… by appealing to other peoples vanities and insecurities. Kudo’s to her on that…. but she has a pot belly and missing a jawline. Somebody lied about her looking to good to print.

CDW

April 5th, 2012
9:39 am

I’d consider myself average on the attractive scale, and even carrying a few extra pounds, I wouldn’t consider this woman a threat in any situation. Can’t imagine my husband even giving her a second look.

Mike Honcho

April 5th, 2012
9:39 am

Very clever article Mr. Mathis…I needed a good laugh this morning! Ya’ll do realize this entire article is written with tongue firmly planted in cheek, right?

Momma was right!

April 5th, 2012
9:41 am

Not a Miss Universe, She is not even an average!!! what a waist of time!

G

April 5th, 2012
9:44 am

I saw this yesterday and I couldn’t believe my eyes, I expected her to be model like and when I saw her picture I was mortified. Your comments this morning have been hilarious and I couldn’t agree more. Carry on

E

April 5th, 2012
9:48 am

What a minute. What?
That’s her? I was expecting a drop-dead beautiful woman. She is not a drop-dead beautiful woman. On a scale of 1 to 10, she’s a 6 at best.

AprilFool

April 5th, 2012
9:52 am

Was this article written/published on April Fool’s Day? I am certain she is being tongue in cheek, yes? Clearly she looks in the mirror and see what we see – an attractive (stretch) woman, but by no means the most gorgeous woman she thinks she is…

Jan Laine

April 5th, 2012
9:55 am

Well……bless her heart.

jes

April 5th, 2012
10:00 am

I’m not going to put down anyone’s looks. However, one of the comments on the original article said it best:

The phenomenon that she experiences is NOT that of “she is so beautiful, I hate her”, it is more likely to be “she is a bit full of herself, I hate her”.

Williams

April 5th, 2012
10:02 am

Bless her heart…..

Gentleman Jim

April 5th, 2012
10:09 am

“it’s own reward”?

Smokewagon

April 5th, 2012
10:13 am

She’s a Brick….house!

Think much?

April 5th, 2012
10:14 am

The satire of the article is obviously lost on most AJC readers judging by the comments…

Cram

April 5th, 2012
10:18 am

Why write an article when you can just link to another?

O.B.

April 5th, 2012
10:21 am

You’re kidding right? Ok, she’s kidding right?? I have socks that are more attractive than this lady! As a man who truly appreciates and respects beautiful women (and not so beautiful) I’m actually offended that this person is attempting to pass herself off to me and the public as a “hottie”. Does she think we’re all stupid? Personally I think she’s lying ‘cuz no man in his right mind is going to bend over backward to get to know an average “lukewarmie” like her.

JC

April 5th, 2012
10:23 am

Seriously? There is nothing attractive about this woman. Maybe the UK beauty standards are different. How shallow can she be very sad.

BS Patrol

April 5th, 2012
10:25 am

The crack of dawn for sure.

M

April 5th, 2012
10:25 am

There must be some ugly women in the UK, because she’s not that beautiful. Average at best. Just sayin’

Dana P.

April 5th, 2012
10:32 am

Bless her heart. Clearly, this woman is delusional. She isn’t even a 5. Seriously?! I think that other women hate her (if, in fact, they do) because she THINKS she’s beautiful, not because she actually IS.

4xtra

April 5th, 2012
10:33 am

Are u serious ??
She is AVERAGE looking at best..
And hat is NOT here REAL hair color

Samantha

April 5th, 2012
10:48 am

wahaaaaa! Is this a LATE April Fool’s article? Have you all googled her and actually seen her? She is NOT PRETTY at all! OMG! Too funny…this has GOT to be a joke! She looks a good 50+ and I just don’t see any physical beauty in this woman…This is a joke right AJC? :) It has GOT to be a joke! She is NOT even attractive…hahahahahahahahahaha! :) :) :) She is only full of herself. It’s good she and I’m certain only SHE thinks she is pretty, but to write an article about how people ‘allegedly’ hate her because she is pretty? That is crazy…this is a April Fool’s joke right AJC? hahahahahahahaha! :) Don’t believe me….google her and you will see what I’m talking about! hahahahahahaha!

Roekest

April 5th, 2012
10:49 am

Um….pretty maybe by British standards. She doesn’t cut the mustard here in the “states”.

Tee

April 5th, 2012
10:53 am

This one time i must come out like this,I am still waiting to se who she is talking about…. lol she is beautiful but not to the point ot be taking like this.

cw

April 5th, 2012
11:03 am

This gal isn’t even remotely attractive. Huge bulbous nose (mini Karl Malden working there), horrible teeth, not particularly slim, thin stringy hair. Mercy, who raised her, Snow White’s mirror? I would never give her a second look, and certainly never wish to look like her.

Dee

April 5th, 2012
11:07 am

Is this a joke?? She’s below average looking compared to many everyday women here in Atlanta and most other places. Hair=mousy, body=average, teeth=need work. I was expecting some exotic stunningly gorgeous woman! She has great self esteem…I guess!! LOL

Billy

April 5th, 2012
11:09 am

LOL, knockouts and rich brats get by in life by not working. There’s very few exceptions to the above. You can find people like that with character, but it’s so infrequently as to be lost in the tidal wave of the majority of leeches in their number.
An article like this is no surprise. It’s a wonder that all of them don’t write this same basic thing. Most female actresses can’t act; it’s just a series of cheesecake shots while they pose for impressionable junior high boys.
I bet the above “author” has never worked a hard day in her life.
I help the modest all I can, and am glad to do so. When a beauty queen graces my path, I make her work for everything. She’s already been given everything else in life, so I love to make them sweat for at least a minute in their lives. It’s the most fun thing in the world, except for doing 55 mph in the left lane of the freeway when 4 wheel drive trucks, mercedes, and other entitled folk think they own the road; LOL, not when I’m on it…

Joe Bob

April 5th, 2012
11:09 am

I looked at her photo and went limp.

Dr. REALITY

April 5th, 2012
11:09 am

I guess the Brits don’t have much to work with…In Buckhead, I’ve seen people walking dogs that are more beautiful than she is.

Colonel

April 5th, 2012
11:21 am

Dwayne

April 5th, 2012
11:22 am

not much there…

annette brown

April 5th, 2012
11:30 am

Heck! I’m more beautiful than she is. She’s in a fantasy, bless her heart.

Hannah Joelson

April 5th, 2012
11:32 am

What rot! I was a darn sight better-looking than her when I was her age, and I had constant problems with men – but almost never with women. But then I didn’t flirt with men in the office, didn’t float around in revealing outfits and didn’t regard other women as ‘lesser.’ I’m a woman’s woman.

Boroblueyes

April 5th, 2012
11:40 am

I wouldn’t take a second look…and she wouldn’t catch my eye at all except for the blonde hair.

Jess

April 5th, 2012
12:19 pm

This article is so silly… her feelings of gradure are frightening to me. She is ugly

Ang, fellow journalist

April 5th, 2012
12:20 pm

I adore this piece! Yay for self-confidence?
I read Brick’s column and I must say you countered it in a well-written and HILARIOUS way.
One note tho: *titled ;)

Anita

April 5th, 2012
12:24 pm

They must have put the wrong picture in the link because this woman is not that pretty. OMG!!! She is really arrogant and someone has fooled her big time.