‘Breading Cats’ horror grips America

If underwater dog photos have taught us anything, it’s that pet photography fads are very fluid.

"We are not amused." - Unnamed Cat (Image from breadingcats.com)

"We are not amused." - Unnamed Cat (Image from breadingcats.com)

Unlike the joyous images of submerged, ball-chasing canines, however, the latest trend visits an unspeakable horror upon our feline friends.

Yes, I’m talking about “Breading Cats” a strange new custom wherein bored apartment dwellers (who must not have cable or other forms of valid entertainment) are forcing the head of a pet through a slice of wheat before snapping a quick cellphone pic and posting it to the Internets.

Disregard, for the moment, that people all over the world are starving and that a slice of stale marbled rye, if proper U.S. postage is attached, might be of sufficient rigidity to make it to an impoverished village and provide much needed nourishment.

Many will find this torment of nature’s most arrogant domesticated creature appropriate. These self-described “dog people” are probably, even now, scouring the back alleys of America for discarded kittens and/or loaves of Wonder Bread.

Do not help them. Keep all cats indoors and on a leash; flush any unused bread products (including biscuits, never know what these sickos will think of next) right down the toilet. [Those with low flow toilets may need to consult Roto-Rooter]

As esteemed law enforcement agent Barney Fife once said, we must nip this fad where it hurts most … right in the bud.

69 comments Add your comment

Dustin

March 23rd, 2012
9:29 am

This made news? My IQ dropped while reading this. Who cares!

JJ

March 23rd, 2012
9:29 am

HAHAHAHAH….thanks for the friday laugh…..running to Publix to get a loaf of bread….I have two cats at home…..can’t wait to play….

Forrest Gump

March 23rd, 2012
9:30 am

Stupid is as stupid does…

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

Anthony Weiner

March 23rd, 2012
9:42 am

Gee what could I photograph stuck through a slice of bread…?

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

Kim

March 23rd, 2012
9:49 am

I agree with Dustin…this is stupid..Im so mad I read it…those r seconds that I cant get back..it sucks.

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

lisa

March 23rd, 2012
9:50 am

Is this satire?

Cat Person

March 23rd, 2012
9:55 am

The coments are way better than the article. Nothing like catching a picture of Princess The Cat with bread stuck on her head.

Scratchin my head

March 23rd, 2012
10:09 am

Another instance that life is like a box of chocklates

Eric

March 23rd, 2012
10:20 am

Really wish I did not read this. Can’t believe this made the news….

No drugs here

March 23rd, 2012
10:21 am

Sorry, but I don’t think it funny at all. Depending upon the personality of the cat, this could be either mildly annoying or devastatingly frightening. Not funny.

Heather

March 23rd, 2012
10:28 am

JJ I said the same thing! I have two cats also :)

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

midtownATL

March 23rd, 2012
10:35 am

Wow.. some of you people need to lighten up… pull that wedgie out of your a@@

JeanV

March 23rd, 2012
10:36 am

The only thing worth while in this article is the part about keeping your cat inside. Seriously – please keep your cat inside!

George Mathis

March 23rd, 2012
10:38 am

Yes, this is indeed ’satire.’ Or at least an attempt at it. Return next week for my take on ‘parody.’

The maple kind yeah!.... Yeah

March 23rd, 2012
10:40 am

It’s a cat who cares!.. All you people that don’t find this funny probably never had bacon! Oh and somehow it is the GOP’s fault or another political figure you tards are always running off at the mouth about.. And I’d rather waste my bread laughing at a stupid cat than giving it to some hungry White,black,mexican,ect ect..

Meowwww

March 23rd, 2012
10:52 am

Purrr-fect light reading for a Friday. So Lighten up humans ……. cuz it can really be a dog eat dog world out there!

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

Breaded Man

March 23rd, 2012
10:57 am

I love how many negative people will read an article, post a response, and probably consistently check back to see if anyone has responded to their post, but claim to have wasted their time reading the article.

ATLCatLover

March 23rd, 2012
11:04 am

There must be something seriously wrong with me, because this just cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh, George…can’t wait to get home and show this to my four catzillas and the dog….

vicki

March 23rd, 2012
11:09 am

This is great….everyone can use a laugh!!

David Shivers

March 23rd, 2012
11:15 am

“Sheesh! The things I put up with for a bowl of kitty kibble.”

A person SMART enough to know......

March 23rd, 2012
11:15 am

Put a Mouse in the cat’s mouth.

AzCat

March 23rd, 2012
11:16 am

What midtownATL said… Keep up the good work, George. :-)

joanne hufford

March 23rd, 2012
11:25 am

Heather, the maple kind yeah you are total IDIOTS…well the maple kind yeah is TRULY RACIST…

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

Mactown4Life

March 23rd, 2012
11:30 am

Hey in some countries they are considered a delicacy. Maybe this owner was starving and wanted to know if he/she could live with oneself if they had to sacrifice their feline for a tasty morsel! You never know, you never know! Hmmmmm Toasty! There are some people licking their lips looking at this picture. If you haven’t guess by now this is sarcasm just to mock the over zealous animal lover who is trying to bring a voice to a defenseless animal instead of focusing on a bigger humanitarian issue of Trayvon Martin injustice that is happening in Sanford Florida! Tackle real issues!

Lisa Newman

March 23rd, 2012
11:35 am

OMG….LIGHTEN UP FOLKS! It’s so refreshing from all the sad news in the world. Take it as it is…….humor.

dre

March 23rd, 2012
11:40 am

Anthony Weiner!!! LOL, that was great!

JustOneWoman

March 23rd, 2012
11:53 am

This type of stuff is very unsettling to me. How is it that people think cats are arrogant and aloof? Mine have always cried for my attention and I’ve responded lavishly each time.

Girls, if you want a sensuous lover, find yourself a fellow cat lover!

derdeeder

March 23rd, 2012
11:58 am

What a nice Pure-bread!

Elle

March 23rd, 2012
12:00 pm

Good one, derdeeder.

JJ

March 23rd, 2012
12:04 pm

Should one use white or wheat?

Troy

March 23rd, 2012
12:10 pm

OK, who pointed my Portal gun at this slice of bread?

jon

March 23rd, 2012
12:12 pm

i can think of something else to stick through bread.

Navin R. Johnson

March 23rd, 2012
12:14 pm

Back in the seventys we had another equally as serious epidemic.. It was cat juggling. We just cant have cat breading.

annette brown

March 23rd, 2012
12:16 pm

With all the horrors in the world today, this is a very refreshing and funny article. Thanks! : )

SayWhat

March 23rd, 2012
12:19 pm

Hey folks, where is your sense of humor??? It’s never a waste of time to read something that makes you smile. And if it doesn’t, then maybe you can go stomp on someone’s toes or kick over someone’s sand castle to get your laughs.

oreary?

March 23rd, 2012
12:25 pm

I been breading cat fo yeas in ressorant. These is not “News to me”

lakj

March 23rd, 2012
12:27 pm

our cat does this on his own when he steals a slice of bread.

yahoo

March 23rd, 2012
12:28 pm

Before you bread a cat, you should dunk it in egg wash so the coating sticks better.

RLM

March 23rd, 2012
1:40 pm

Some people have no sense of humor. Why not diversify. Pancakes. Waffles. The right size of cheese might work. Pizza anyone?

CDW

March 23rd, 2012
1:42 pm

Humor people….lighten up. You’ll find the world funnier if you remove the stick from your posterior.

Oregon_Braves

March 23rd, 2012
1:47 pm

yahoo – you get a +1 from me for that.

Andre

March 23rd, 2012
1:49 pm

Are yall so wound up so tightly that anything that isn’t about blood shedding, loss of life, politics or sports isn’t worth reading. I appreciate a warm story like this every now and then.

Ralph DeMattia

March 23rd, 2012
1:55 pm

Sorry, but I think it’s funny, and I have 7 Kitties and love them dearly. It’s funny and doesn’t harm the cat at all.

Kathryn

March 23rd, 2012
2:02 pm

lol, someone’s got a case of the Fridays. This helped me with my symptoms though. Great job, a very gripping “exposé” on the subject!