Archive for March, 2012

Welcome to National Cleavage Day

While most holidays are designed to forcibly part a fool and his money — at least one gives men a valid excuse to stare.

Holly Willoughby and Dita Von Teese (pictured)? Never heard of them.

Holly Willoughby and Dita Von Teese (pictured)? Never heard of them.

National Cleavage Day, a creation of bra maker Wonderbra, certainly achieved that objective Friday when a volary of underclothed ladies took to the streets of London.

Anita Meiring, public relations consultant for Wonderbra, has said the annual event gives “women a chance to be beautiful and glow in the furtive, yet appreciative, glances their cleavage evokes from men.”

It’s not just about eye candy, however. The annual celebration got its start in 2002 in South Africa as a way to help those suffering from leukemia and other life-threatening blood diseases.

Wonderbra also released the findings of a highly scientific survey to identify the initial inhabitants of its “Celebrity Cleavage Hall of Fame” and somehow Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks did not win, place or even show up.

Here’s the …

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Bear saves man in mountain lion attack

At least one man’s best friend is not his dog — it’s a wild bear that saved him from a mountain lion attack.

Thor, left, and Boo, denizens of the Detroit Zoo, recreate the epic bear, mountain lion scrap. (AP photo)

Thor, left, and Boo, denizens of the Detroit Zoo, recreate the epic bear/mountain lion scrap. (AP photo)

ParadisePost.com reports the unusual tale of Robert Biggs, 69, who was roaming the woods of north-central California Monday when the giant cat jumped him.

Biggs, a photographer who enjoys getting close to nature, but probably not this close, was initially saved by his backpack, which was “up around his head” and prevented the panther from landing a mortal blow.

After tussling with the panther for a few seconds, a bear appeared and battled the mountain lion for about 15 seconds, Biggs said, before the cat fled.

The bear left Biggs alone, and he suffered only relatively minor bites, bruises and bite marks.

Biggs told the Paradise, Calif., publication that he had been taking pictures of the bear and her cub before the mountain lion attacked him. He said he had taken …

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‘Breading Cats’ horror grips America

If underwater dog photos have taught us anything, it’s that pet photography fads are very fluid.

"We are not amused." - Unnamed Cat (Image from breadingcats.com)

"We are not amused." – Unnamed Cat (Image from breadingcats.com)

Unlike the joyous images of submerged, ball-chasing canines, however, the latest trend visits an unspeakable horror upon our feline friends.

Yes, I’m talking about “Breading Cats” a strange new custom wherein bored apartment dwellers (who must not have cable or other forms of valid entertainment) are forcing the head of a pet through a slice of wheat before snapping a quick cellphone pic and posting it to the Internets.

Disregard, for the moment, that people all over the world are starving and that a slice of stale marbled rye, if proper U.S. postage is attached, might be of sufficient rigidity to make it to an impoverished village and provide much needed nourishment.

Many will find this torment of nature’s most arrogant domesticated creature appropriate. These self-described “dog people” are probably, even now, …

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Report: Georgians are ’suckers’ for the lottery

There’s a sucker born every minute, and there’s a good chance he lives in Georgia, according to a recent study. powerball

BloombergBusinessweek reports Georgians are No. 1 at being bad with money, earning the Empire State of the South the top ranking in its latest Sucker Index.

It’s our love of playing the lottery (Reminder: World record $640 million jackpot drawing tonight!) that’s set us up for ridicule.

Americans spend $50 billion a year in tickets for state-run games, which have the worst odds of any form of legal gambling, writes Bloomberg.

Georgia residents spent an average $470.73 on the lottery in 2010, or 1 percent of their personal income, while they received the sixth-highest prize payouts, 63 cents for each dollar spent, the Sucker Index shows. Only Massachusetts had higher spending, $860.70 per adult, more than three times the U.S. average. But Massachusetts players are luckier, they won back 72 cents for each dollar spent.

The article throws salt on the wounds by saying …

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Pi Day has math world buzzing

Welcome to Pi Day, which sadly does not include anything baked by my granny. pi-day

Rather, Pi Day is about math, which journalists are generally not as good at as dessert consumption, and celebrates a never-ending number usually abbreviated to 3.14 (or 3.14159 by those toting big calculators).

Pi is useful for figuring out stuff about circles (and wheels, which are useful on things like cars).

The U.S. government, which can’t balance a budget using addition and its tricky pal, subtraction, saw fit to recognize 3/14 as Pi Day in 2009.

Ever since, the buzz has been growing.

Today, there’s even a website about Pi Day that offers to sell you stuff.

The history of pi is almost as long as an irrational number.

“The only constant is change,” said Heraclitus circa 500 B.C.

A nice quote, but a couple hundred years later fellow ancient Greek Archimedes stewed up the formula that nerds celebrate even today.

So here’s to pi! Let’s hope Pi Day founder Larry Shaw is out there right now …

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City without cemetery outlaws death

Death has been given the boot in Italy.

Death has been given the boot in Falciano del Massico, Italy.

Death, taxes and an overused Braves bullpen are inevitable, but don’t tell that to Italian Mayor Giulio Cesare Fava, who, due to his tiny town not having a cemetery, has outlawed dying.

The Associated Press reports the city of Falciano del Massico, located near Naples in southern Italy, adopted its no-death ordinance this month.

Death would be legalized, it is presumed, if the city can end its feud with nearby Carinola, which, according to this article in a language I cannot read, no longer wants to inter out-of-towners in its overcrowded cemetery.

The towns, it seems, have been feuding since the 1960s, when Falciano del Massico broke away from Carinola, perhaps in some sort of pizza crust thickness dispute.

“The ordinance has brought happiness,” said Mayor Fava, who, as a doctor, has long held an anti-death position. “Unfortunately, two elderly citizens disobeyed.”

Death could not be reached for comment for …

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Report: Meat is self-murder

An apple a day doesn’t really keep the doctor away. If that were true, Ellijay wouldn’t need a hospital.

Down on Auburn avenue: The other white meat -- in cloven hoof form.

Down on Auburn: The other white meat — in cloven hoof form. (Steven H. Walker)

However, a new medical report indicates a hot dog a day may hasten the arrival of the undertaker.

According to a Harvard study, a steady diet of tubular meat, bacon or hamburgers raises the risk of dying from heart disease or cancer by as much as 21 percent.

Of course, no one, except perhaps the late, great Ignatius J. Reilly considers eating a hot dog a day, and the toll it took on his woefully inadequate pyloric valve is a lengthy indictment on the dangers of processed meats (and the occasional cheese dip).

The study tracked 121,000 middle-aged men and women for up to 28 years. About 20 percent of survey participants died during the study.

CNN reports, on average, each additional serving of red meat the participants ate per day was associated with a 13% higher risk of dying during the …

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Jury awards jailed illegal immigrant $750,000 lottery ticket

A jailed illegal immigrant in Georgia is the rightful owner of a $750,000 lottery ticket, a jury decided Thursday.

The Macon Telegraph has an excellent write-up on the tale of suddenly rich but soon-to-be-deported Jose Antonio “Tony” Cua-Toc, 27, a native of Guatemala who entered the country illegally in 2000.

Cua-Toc, a day laborer in the employ of Fort Valley business owner Erick Cervantes, bought the winning Jingle Jumbo Bucks lottery ticket in November 2010. Cua-Toc said he asked Cervantes to cash in the ticket because he was in the country illegally, but Cervantes kept the money.

Cervantes claims he gave Cua-Toc $20 to buy the ticket for him, but jurors watching store video of an exultant Cua-Toc decided that was not the behavior of a man who had just won a fortune for someone else.

The verdict in the civil suit would seem to set precedent — the jury determined the owner of a lottery ticket is not who pays for it, but who actually purchases it, which has me …

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Car hits bank, no injuries or flying cash

(With apologies to Dr. Seuss, born March 2, 1904)

Friday, a Cobb woman did make

Yellow tape they did drape, but it had to be fate, no cash flew from the wall. (Photo by Alexis Stevens)

Yellow tape they did drape, but it had to be fate, no cash flew from the wall. (Photo by Alexis Stevens)

The decision to hit gas and not brake

Over a curb she flew, and before she knew

What happened she’d rammed her bank

The news reporter did try

To get a fresh story but why?

No one was hurt, tellers kept to their work

And money from the vault did not fly

The errant driver would not talk

The Bank of America manager balked

So the reporter left Bells Ferry, in a mood quite unmerry

Opportunity had not yet knocked

But do not fret, this day is young yet

And there’s always new news being made.

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