Joke of the Year pokes fun at eye ailment

The British are good at many things: making beer, the idolatry of royalty, parliamentary put-downs and humor.

David Mitchell and Robert Webb, stars of UK comedy hit Peep Show.

For an island nation roughly the size of Michigan, they’ve cranked out a lot of history and laughs. [See Peep Show, not Benny Hill]

So, when our allies proclaim a one-liner as Joke of the Year, the world best pay attention.

The winning witticism? “Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.”

I’ll give you a moment to recover from that knee-slapper.

…

Ready for some more?

Comedian Tim Vine, creator of the aforementioned quip, also scored big in 2010 with this gem: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”

What jokes did Vine beat out in this year’s Loaded Laftas comedy awards?

The Week recaps the competition:

• Jimmy Carr: “I know a couple who get on like a house on fire. They both feel trapped and are slowly suffocating to death.”
• Sarah Millican: “My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”
• Matt Kirshen: “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”
• Paul Daniels: “I said to a fella ‘Is there a B&Q in Henley?’ He said ‘No, there’s an H, an E, an N an L and a Y’.”

I have no idea what a B&Q is, but I am sure that is hilarious.

I’ll take a stab at dethroning Mr. Vine with my own Joke of the Year.

• Did you hear about all the award-winning public art in Atlanta? The people driving out of the Edgewood Kroger parking lot haven’t either.
• What’s on Atlanta’s longest-running ‘Wanted Poster’? The eye glasses of the dude hiring strippers at the Clermont.
• Any time my wife sees a group of people laughing she thinks I’ve dropped my W-2.

Please write your own in the comment section below, but keep ‘em clean and not about politics or they will be deleted.